轻松生活英语笑话三则

轻松生活英语笑话三则

　　“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面学习啦小编为大家带来轻松生活英语笑话三则，欢迎大家阅读!

　　轻松生活英语笑话：传教士买鹦鹉

　　Are you sure it doesnt scream, yell, or swear? asked the preacher.Oh absolutely. Its a religious parrot, the storekeeper assures him.Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lords prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm.Wonderful! says the preacher, but what happens if you pull both strings?I fall off my perch, you stupid fool! screeched the parrot.

　　“你确信它不会尖叫，大叫或诅咒别人吗?”传教士问。“哦，绝对不会。它是一只虔诚的鹦鹉。”店主保证说。“你看见它腿上的这些细绳了吗?当你拉动右面的这根，它会背诵天主经，当你拉动左面的那根，它会背诵赞美诗”“太棒了!”传教士说，“但是如果我同时拉动两条绳子，会发生什么呢?”“我会从树干上掉下去的，你这个笨蛋!”鹦鹉尖声说道。

　　轻松生活英语笑话：谁的心脏最好

　　A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. "you're in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social worker".The man quickly responds, "The attorney's"."Wait! Don't you want to know a little about them before you make your decision?"The man says, "I already know enough. Social workers have bleeding hearts and the attorney's probably never used his. So I'll take the attorney's!"　　In a courtroom, the judge sentenced a criminal to thirty years in prison and the prisoner said, "But Sir, I won’t live that long!"So the judge replied, "Don't worry, just do what you can!"

　　一个人心脏病突发被送进了医院。医生告诉他除非马上做心脏移植手术，否则他将活不成了。“你很幸运，我们刚好有两个心脏在这儿，所以你必须选择其中一个。它们分别属于一个律师和一个社会工作者。”病人很快回答：“律师的那个。”“等等!在作决定之前，难道你不需要了解多一点他们的情况吗?”病人说：“我知道的够多的了。社会工作者都是热心人，而律师可能从来都没有用过他的良心。所以我选择律师的心脏。”

　　轻松生活英语笑话：不能让他跑了

　　A male crab(螃蟹)met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately. The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married." "Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.

　　一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走，而不是横着走。哇!她想，这只雄蟹可真特别，我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。 第二天，她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了?”她问，“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。” “哦，宝贝，”他回答说，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”