轻松幽默生活英语故事

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘记了放松自己。下面学习啦小编为大家带来幽默生活英语笑话四则，希望大家喜欢!

　　幽默生活英语笑话：谁更丑

　　Abraham Lincoln's ability to laugh at himself sustained him through his many adversities. One example he often recalled was the time when an ugly man thrust a revolver in his face. Lincoln tried to remain calm, asking the man what he wanted. The man replied, holding the gun to Lincoln's head, "Some years ago I swore that if I ever came across an uglier man than myself, I'd shoot him on the spot."

　　亚伯拉罕·林肯自我解嘲的才智帮助他度过了许多灾难。他经常回想起一个例子，一次一个丑陋的男子用一把左轮手枪顶在了他的脸上。林肯努力保持镇静，问那人想要什么。那人用枪指着他的头，回答说:“多年前我发过誓，如果见到一个比我还丑的人，我就当场击毙他。”

　　Relief crossed Lincoln's face and he lost all his tension and anxiety. "Shoot me," he said to the stranger, "for if I am an uglier man than you, I don't want to live."

　　一丝欣慰掠过林肯的面庞，他的紧张和焦虑一扫而光。“开枪吧，”他对那个陌生人说，“因为要是我比你还丑，我就不想活了。”

　　幽默生活英语笑话：新年决心书

　　Hoping to excite student interest in our reading center, I asked each teacher to write a New Year's resolution on a special form and send it to me. After I posted the resolutions on the bulletin board in the reading center，one young teacher stopped by，looked at them for a few minutes，and then left abruptly. Passing two teachers on their way in，she stormed，“My resolution isn’t posted-and mine was one of the first ones ins”I couldn't help but overheard,and the tone of her voice sent me flying to my desk in reach of a misplaced resolution.Looking rapidly through stacks of papers，I uncovered hers. It read，“I resolve not to let little things upset me.”

　　为了激励同学们对我们阅览中心的兴趣，我请每位老师在一张特制的表格上写一篇新年决心书交给我。我将决心书张贴在阅览中心的布告牌上之后，一位年轻老师停下来看了几分钟，便抽身走开了。她越过两位老师闯了进来，大发雷霆道:“我的决心书竟然没有贴出来—而我的是第一批交上来的!”我在旁边听到了，看她气势汹汹的样子，我吓得赶紧跑回办公室去找那份放错了地方的决心书，飞快浏览了几叠纸之后，我打开了她的那一份，上面写着:“我决心不再为一些小事而烦恼。”

　　幽默生活英语笑话：钥匙?接吻

　　A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adults who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table，he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book，the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said，"Give me the keys. "The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this，my friend thought that the student hadn’t heard him Clearly，so he repeated. "Give me the keys.”The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then，he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.

　　我的一位朋友在给一个成人学生班级上英语课。他们都是新近来美国生活的。在一张桌子上摆了许多日常用品之后，他请全班同学给他挑出尺子、书本、钢笔等。课进行得井然有序，学生们对自己所做的似乎很感兴趣，也很认真。后来轮到一名来自意大利的学生，我的朋友说:“给我钥匙。”那人看起来非常吃惊，也有点手足无措。看到这种情况，我的朋友想是他没有听清楚，于是又重复了一遍:“给我钥匙。”那位意大利学生耸了耸肩。接着，他伸出胳膊搂住老师的脖子在双颊上亲了两下。

　　幽默生活英语笑话：那是做什么用的

　　While proudly showing off his newapartment to friends，a college student led theway into the den. "What is the big brass gongand hammer ford "One of his friends asked."That is the talking clock.”the man replied.“How does it work!”

　　一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的?”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的?”

　　"Watch，”the man said and proceeded togive the gong an ear shattering pound with thehammer. Suddenly，someone screamed fromthe other side of the wall，“Knock it off，you idiots It’s two 0’clock in the morning”

　　他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这白痴!现在是凌晨两点钟了!”