英语经典幽默故事

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘记了放松自己。下面学习啦小编为大家带来经典幽默英语故事四则，希望大家喜欢!

　　经典幽默英语故事：你会省得更多

　　"You will he pleased with me today. mother.” said Dick to his mother, home from school. "I go to school by bus 1 ran all the way after it.

　　“妈妈，你今天一定会对我满意的。”迪克放学回家后对妈妈说:“我省一F了车钱。我上学时没乘公共汽车，而是跟着公共汽车一路跑到学校的。”

　　“Well,” said his mother laughing, "Next time you should run after a taxi，you will save much more.”

　　“哦。”他妈妈笑着说，“下次你跟在出租汽车后面跑，那会省得更多。”

　　经典幽默英语故事：骨灰

　　Here' s a true story related to me by my mother, which she says happened to one of her neighbors in a Venezuelan oil camp in the 50’s:It seems that a certain woman kept the ashes of her dearly departed father in a silver box on a table. One day，after not having looked at her "father" for a long time, she opened the box and was horrified to discover it was nearly empty! Furious, she accosted the maid and demanded to know," have you touched this box'?" Whereupon the maid protested "I didn’t think you’d mind! After all，it’s very poor duality snuff.”

　　这是我妈妈给我讲的一个真实的故事。故事发生在50年代的委内委瑞拉油田，她的一个邻居的家里。有一个女人一直都留着自己已故的亲爱父亲的骨灰，并把它放进一个银盒子里摆在桌子上。一天，由于很久都没看看自己的“爸爸”了，她便打开了盒子，却惊奇地发现盒子里面是空的二她吼来了女佣，想知道到底是怎么回事，‘你碰过这个盒子吗?”女佣辩解道:“我不知道你会生气，说真的，那鼻烟的质量可真差。”

　　经典幽默英语故事：医生的笑话

　　A doctor is going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear. Hegoes into a staff meeting to discuss the day’s activities, when a co一worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear. In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims, "Damn，some asshole has my pen!”

　　一位医生耳朵上夹了一支直肠温度计开始了一天的工作。他去会议室讨论今天的工作。一位同事问他为什么在耳朵上夹一支温度计，他愤怒的抓下温度计，一边看一边说:“该死的，哪个人的肛门里一定塞着我的钢笔。”

　　经典幽默英语故事：三个心愿

　　A poor little lonely old lady lived in a house with only her cat as a friend. One day, the lights went out as she sat knitting; she had been unable to pay the electric bill. So, she went up to the suit and got an old oil lamp from her childhood. As she rubbed it clean a genie appeared and allowed her three wishes.

　　一个穷困而孤苦伶仃的老太太和她的猫住在一间房子里。一天.她正坐椅子上织毛衣，可灯却熄灭了。因为她已交不起电钱了。于是她走到阁楼_匕找出了一只小时候用的油灯。当她擦拭油灯的时候，一个妖怪出现了，要帮她实现三个心愿。

　　"First, I want to be so rich I never have to worry about money again.”

　　“首先，我想变得很有钱，再也不用为钱担心了。”

　　"Second, I want to be young and beautiful again.”

　　“然后，我想再变回到年轻时那漂亮的样子。”

　　"And Last，I want you to change my little cat into a handsome prince.”

　　“最后，我想让我的猫变成一位英俊潇洒的王子。”

　　*POOF*

　　璞!

　　As the smoke cleared she saw she was surrounded by big bags of coins, and that in the mirror was a young beautiful woman. She turned as the handsome prince walked in the door, held her in his arms and said, "Now I'11 bet you're sorry you took me to the vet for that little operation.”

　　随着一阵烟雾漫漫散开，她看见自己的周围都是大袋子的钱币，镜子里照出的是一位年青漂亮的女人，在她转身的时候，那位英俊的王子走到了门前，将她抱入怀中，对她说:“现在我敢打赌，你一定为把我送到兽医那里做这个小手术而感到后悔。”