外国经典幽默笑话阅读

　　笑话是一种增强快乐的文化，常常以篇幅短小，故事情节简单，文笔巧妙的形式出现，给人以出乎意料，并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活，我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面学习啦小编为大家带来外国经典幽默笑话四则，希望大家喜欢!

　　外国经典幽默笑话：爱尔兰人的运气

　　Two Irish lovers are sitting on a bench, in a park. They are holding hands，but the lady is nervously twisting her hands.

　　一对爱尔兰情侣坐在公园里的长椅上。他们手牵着手，但是那个女的一直紧张地摆弄她的双手。

　　Mary: “Patrick. I have something to tell you.”

　　玛丽:“帕特瑞克，我有些事想告诉你。”

　　Patrick: “Well，what’s on your mind? You know you can tell me everything.”

　　帕特瑞克:“好的，你在想什么?有什么事你尽管可以跟我说。”

　　Mary: “It’ s so terrible.”

　　玛丽:“这件事简直太难讲出口了。”

　　Patrick: “You know you can trust me. What is it?”

　　帕克瑞克:“请你相信我，到底是什么事?”

　　Mary: “Well, it was a few years ago. Father lost his job, and no money in sight…”

　　玛丽:“那是好几年前的事了。我爸爸失业了，当时没有钱。”

　　Patrick: “So, what is it?”

　　帕特瑞克:“那然后呢?”

　　Mary: “Oh. We were so desperate. For some time I had to turn… prostitute!”

　　玛丽:“哦，当时我们简直是绝望之极。所以有时候我不得不去做妓女!”

　　Patrick: “WHAT!”

　　帕特瑞克:“你说什么?”

　　Mary: “We needed the money so bad!”

　　玛丽:“我们太需要钱了。”

　　Patrick: “There is no good reason for this! Endangering your very soul! How could you? YOU! Mary, this is more than I can stand!”

　　帕特瑞克:“不要找借口开脱了。出卖你的灵魂，你怎么能这么做呢? 你! 玛丽，这我实在是接受不了。”

　　Mary: “Not you, Pat! No! I thought you'd understand. I thought your could still love me, even though I had been a whore.”

　　玛丽:“不，帕特请不要这样，我觉得你能理解我。我相信你依然爱我，哪怕我曾经出卖过自己的身体。”

　　Patrick:“Oh! … You … Well, that's ok. For a moment I thought you said protestant’!”

　　帕特瑞克:“哦，你等会儿，那没关系。刚才我还以为你是说你是当了新教徒呢。”

　　外国经典幽默笑话：两个错误

　　For a long time Dr. Smith had wanted to get a better job in a certain big modern hospital, and at last he was successful. He was appointed to a particular position, which he wanted，and his wife moved to the house, which they were now to live in. The next day some beautiful flowers were sent to them, with a note，which said，"Deepest sympathy". Naturally,Dr. Smith was angry to receive such an unusual note, and telephoned the shop which had sent the flowers to find what the note meant.

　　很长时间以来，史密斯先生一直想在一家现代化的大医院找到一份较好的工作，最后他如愿以偿了。他得到了他所想要的一个重要职位，他和他妻子也搬进了他们现在的房子。第二天，他让花店送来了一些美丽的鲜花，上面有一张条子，写道:“最深切的吊慰。”很显然，史密斯先生对接到这样一张条子感到非常气愤，他立刻打电话给送花店的老板问那张条子是什么意思。

　　When the owner of the shop heard what had happened, he apologized to Dr. Smith for having made the mistake.

　　商店的老板听到所发生的事情之后，对于他们所造成的错误对史密斯先生表示歉意。

　　"But what really worried me much more," he added , "is that flowers which ought to have gone to you were sent to a person who had just died, with a card which said, Congratulations on your new position."

　　“可真正让我更为担心的是”，老板补充道，“应该给你送去的鲜花却被送给了一个刚去世的人，鲜花上的条子写着:祝您高升。”

　　外国经典幽默笑话：每根都能划得燃

　　有一个特别在乎钱的人，一天他叫儿子去买一盒火柴，并且告诉儿子一定要搞清楚每根火柴都是好的。他的儿子一会儿就回来了。这个人拿出火柴划了一根，没有燃着。他又划了几根还是没有一根划燃。他非常生气地说:“我不是告诉过你要保证每一根火柴都是好的吗?”

　　There was a man who cared more for money than anything else, one day he sent his son to buy a box of matches, and told the boy he must see that every match in the box was good, soon the boy came back. The man took out a match and struck it, but it failed to light, he tried several more, but none was good. He got very angry and said, “I told you every match must be good, didn't I?”

　　“是的，你确实说过，”孩子回答，“我把盒子里所有的火柴都试过了，每根都能划得燃。”

　　“Yes,you did,” the boy replied. “I tried out all the matches in the box and every match lit.”

　　外国经典幽默笑话：唱出你的心声

　　There was a little girl whose mother was very strict. Her mother tried to make her daughter behave in a very decent manner, but the girl was still three and half years old. One day the family went to a party, and in the middle of the party the girl cried, "Mommy I want to go restroom.” This drew a lot of attention and the mother felt embarrassed about her daughter. At home she advised that whenever she wants to go to restroom she should say, "I want to sing.”

　　有一个小女孩，她的妈妈对她特别严厉。她妈妈试图让小女孩的举止端庄，但是这个女孩只有三岁半。一天一家人去参加一个聚会，在聚会当中小女孩哭着说:“妈妈，我想上厕所。”这吸引了许多人的注意，母亲也因为她女儿的行为而感到尴尬。回到家中，她要求女儿不管什么时候只要想上厕所就说:“我想唱首歌。”

　　After a couple of days the girl’s grandfather came to visit them. She liked her grandfather very much. At night, she slept with her grandfather, who put her to sleep with a story. After couple of hours, she woke up and said，"Grandpa I want to sing.”The grandpa was afraid of causing a disturbance past midnight if the girl began singing, so he told her in a very low voice, "Baby if you want to sing, sing in my ears.”

　　过了几天，女孩儿的外公来看她和妈妈。小女孩非常喜欢她的外公。晚上，她和给她讲故事的外公一起睡。过了几个小时，她起来说:“外公，我想唱首歌。”外公害怕她如果在半夜唱歌会打搅别人，所以就用非常低沉的声音告诉她:“宝贝，如果你想唱，那么就在外公的耳边唱吧。”