五则幽默趣味英语笑话

　　幽默笑话，能让你在信手翻启间开怀一笑，得到身心的彻底放松、心绪的怦然萌动、情感的欣然释放。下面学习啦小编为大家带来幽默趣味的英语笑话五则，欢迎大家阅读!

　　幽默趣味英语笑话：马打电话来了

　　A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of thei head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for ?"She says, " I found a piece of paper in your pocket with'Betty Sue' written on it.' Ha says, "Jeez,honey, 'Betty Sue'was the name of the horse I bet on.H She shrugs and walks away.

　　一个家伙正在看报纸，他的妻子走到他身后，用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。他问道：“这是为什么?”她说：“我在你口袋里发现了一张写有‘BettY Sue’的纸条。"他说：¨哎呀，亲爱的，‘BettYSue’是我赌的那匹马的名字。口她耸了耸肩，走了。

　　Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?一she answers, "Your horse called."

　　三天后，他正在看报纸，妻子走到他身后，又用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。他问：这又是为什么?“她答道：-你的马打电话来了。”

　　幽默趣味英语笑话：我要射死他

　　A:What would you do if you find your husband date with another woman?

　　A：如果你发现你丈夫与别的女人约会你会怎么做?

　　B:lill open one eye and close one eye.

　　B：我会睁一只眼，闭一只眼。

　　A:How kind you are!

　　A:你太善良了!

　　B：No，I'II shoot him!

　　B：不，我要射死他

　　幽默趣味英语笑话：我希望你是报纸

　　Wife talking to her husband ( who reads the newspaper all day):"1 wish l were a newspaper so 1 would be in your hands all day.”

　　妻子对整天坐在那里看报纸的丈夫说：¨我希望我就是报纸，这样你就可以整天把我捧在手上了。”

　　Husband: "1 wish that too,so I could change you daily."

　　丈夫说：¨我也希望你是报纸，那样的话我可以天天换新的。"

　　幽默趣味英语笑话：他为什么喊

　　Dentist: Please stop howting.I haven't even touchsd your tooth yet.

　　牙医：请你不要再喊了!我还没碰你的牙呢。

　　Patient: I know,but you are standing on my foot!

　　病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚呀!

　　幽默趣味英语笑话：照相机

　　On our way to a wedding in Vermont, my husband and I realized we had forgotten our camera. We stopped at a general store and, hoping to purchase a cheap,disposable model. Sal asked the owner, ¨Do you have any of those throwaway cameras?

　　在前往威蒙特参加一个婚礼的路上，我和丈夫意识到我们忘了带照相机。我们在一家百货商店门前停了下来，希望能够买到一种便宜的，一次性照相机。萨尔问店主：“你们有那种用了就扔的照相机吗?”

　　"Look,fella," replied the owner, "I don't care what you do with it after you buy it."

　　“我说，小伙子，”店主回答说，”我可不管你买了之后怎么处理它。”