幽默趣味英语笑话五则

幽默趣味英语笑话五则

　　幽默笑话，能让你在信手翻启间开怀一笑，得到身心的彻底放松、心绪的怦然萌动、情感的欣然释放。下面学习啦小编为大家带来幽默趣味的英语笑话五则，欢迎大家阅读!

　　幽默趣味英语笑话：医生住在楼下

　　"Doctor,"she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me.”

　　”医生“她冲进屋后大声说道。"我想让你坦率地告诉我，我到底得了什么病。"

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam,”he said at length, “l've just three things to telf you. First,your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, l'm an artist,the doctor lives downstairs."

　　他从头到脚打量了她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅;第二，如您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的相貌将会变美。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”

　　幽默趣味英语笑话：你精神正常吗

　　During a visit to the mental asylum,a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?""Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub,and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup,and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."Oh,I understand,n said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."Noooooooo! n answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

　　一个参观者在参观一所精神病院的时候问院长，”你们是用什么标准来决定一个人是否应该进精神病院呢?””哦……¨院长说，“是这样，我们先给一个浴缸放满水，然后我们给病人一个茶匙，一个茶杯和一个水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清。“哦，我明白了¨，参观者说，”正常人会选择水桶，因为水桶比茶匙和茶杯的容积大。””错了”，院长回答道，正常人会把浴缸塞子拔掉。

　　幽默趣味英语笑话：谁要聋了

　　A man tells a doctor, ”I think my wife's going deaf. What can I do ? "

　　丈夫告诉医生："我想我的妻子快要聋了，我可以做些什么呢?"

　　The doctor says, "VVell, trY to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question-If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. That way we can see how bad the problem is." The man goes home, sees his wife and says, "Hi honey, what's for dinner ? " He doesn't hear an answer, so he moves closer. "Honey, what's for dinner ? " He repeats this severaltimes, until he's standing right next to her. Finally,she answers, "For the tenth time, I said we-re having Pot Roast!"

　　医生告诉他："嗯，先尝试测测她的听力吧。站在离她有一段距离的地方，问一个问题，如果她没有回答，走近一点再问一遍.一直重复直到她回答为止。这样我们就可以知道情况有多糟了。“丈夫回到家，看见妻子便问：¨亲爱的，晚餐吃什么?¨他没有听到回答，于是走近一点再问：¨亲爱的，晚餐吃什么呢?这样重复了好几次，直到他就站在妻子旁边了。

　　终于，她回答了：¨这是第十次了，我说我们吃炖肉.

　　幽默趣味英语笑话：死于肝癌

　　Wife:you see. According to the statistics on the paper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.

　　妻子：你看这张报纸，据统计，死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。

　　Husband: lt's okay. To my investigation,all these people eat meals.

　　丈夫：那有什么?据我调查，死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的。

　　幽默趣味英语笑话：你当真爱我吗

　　One day,Eve asked Adam,"Do you really love me?

　　一天，夏娃问亚当：“你当真爱我吗?”

　　Adam said helplessly, "Do I have any other choice?"

　　亚当无可奈何地回答：“我还有别的选择吗?