幽默笑话大全爆笑2017
笑话,是供人们消遣或交际的一种创造性的语言形式,其主要功能是调侃、娱乐或讽刺。它是人们生活中不可或缺的组成部分,与社会密切相关。下面是学习啦小编精心收集的爆笑2017幽默笑话，希望大家喜欢!
爆笑2017幽默笑话篇一
There once was a flood and everyone had reached safety except for one man. He climbed to the top of his house with the water lapping at his feet.
一次洪水泛滥，每个人都被送到了安全的避难所。只有一个男人除外。他爬上了自己家的屋顶，而洪水已经涨到了他的脚下。
A helicopter flew over his head and hung down a rope for him to climb, but the man was deeply religious and said, "It's all right! The Lord will save me!” So the helicopter flew away.
一架直升飞机飞到了他的头顶，垂下来绳索让他爬上来，但是这个男子十分虔诚地说:“我很好，上帝会来救我的!”于是，直升飞机调头飞走了。
The water continued to rise and a boat came to him, but once again, the man shouted，"No! Go AWAY! The Lord will come and save me!” and once again, the boat sped off.
洪水继续蔓延着，有一条船划向他，可男子又一次地叫着:“不，走开!上帝一定会来救我的!”于是这条船也调头走了。
The water was getting dangerously deep by now so the helicopter came back and, on cue, the man repeated，"I don't need saving! My Lord will come.” Reluctantly, the helicopter left.
这时，洪水变得越来越深了，直升飞机又飞了回来暗示他可以被得救，而这个男子再一次地说着:“我不需要你们来救我!我的主马_L就会来的!”无奈之下，直升飞机飞走了。
The rain continued to pour, the water continued to rise and the man drowned.
雨还是肆无忌惮地下着，洪水不断的上涨，那个男子被淹死了。
At the gates of heaven, the man met St. Peter. Confused, he asked, "Peter, I have lived the life of a faithful man一why did my Lord not rescue me?"
在天堂的门口，这个男子遇见了圣徒彼特。他疑惑的问到:“彼特，我是一个多么虔诚的人呀，为什么上帝不来挽救我呢?”
St. Peter replied, "For pity sake! He sent you two helicopters and a bo."
彼特回答他:“上天有好生之德，他已经给你派去了两架直升飞机和一条船了。”
爆笑2017幽默笑话篇二
William may well be called the champion optimist. He was sitting on the roof of his house during a flood, watching the water flow fast，when the neighbor who owned a boat rowed across to him.
威廉姆可以称得上是最乐观的人了。在洪水泛滥的时候他坐在自家的房顶上，看着湍急的洪水不断泛滥。他的邻居坐在船上划向他。
"Hi，William!"said the man.
“晦，威廉姆!”划船的男人招呼他。
"Hi, Jack!" replied William, brightly.
“晦，杰克!”威廉姆愉快地回应他。
"All your fowls washed away this morning?"
“你家里的家畜今天早上都被洪水冲走了吗?”
"Yes，but it doesn't matter, you know the ducks can swim.”
“是的，不过这不要紧的，你知道，鸭子是会游泳的!”
"Orange trees gone, too?"
“橘子树也被冲走了吗?”
"Yes，but everybody said the crop would be failure anyhow.”
“是的，但是大家都说庄稼总有不行的那一天。”
"I see the river's reached above your windows, William.”
“威廉姆，我看见洪水都淹没你的窗户了。”
"That' s all right，Jack，"was the reply. "The windows needed washing.”
“那太好了，杰克。”威廉姆答道，“窗子正需要清洗呢!”
爆笑2017幽默笑话篇三
Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson's house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something.
邻家的男子每次向罗宾逊家走来的时候，罗宾逊就知道他一定是又要来借什么东西了。
"He won't get away with it this time,” muttered Robinson to his wife.
“这次他别想把这个借走。”罗宾逊朝他的妻子小声嘟嚷到。
"Er, I wonder if you’d be using your power一saw this morning,“the neighbor began.
“嗯，我不知道你今天早上用不用这把电动锯?”邻居又开始周旋了。
"oh, I’m terribly sorry," said Robinson with a smug look，"but the fact of the matter is , I' 11 be using it all day.”
“噢，真是太抱歉了，”罗宾逊看卜去很得意地说，“事实上是我要用上一整天。”
"In that case，”said the neighbor,“you won' t be using your golf clubs，mind if I borrow them?"
“如果那样的话，”邻居说:“你一定不会用你的高尔夫球杆了，你不介意把它借给我吧?”
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