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英语笑话大全

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英语笑话大全

  冷笑话是近几年才出现的新兴语言现象,它以网络为主要的传播方式。它是幽默的一种特殊的表现形式,主要流传于网页,微博,贴吧等。下面是学习啦小编精心收集的爆笑英语笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!

  爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇一

  Sadie's husband Jake has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet his faithful wife stays by his bedside day and night.

  莎迪的丈夫杰克已经昏迷好几个月了,他忠实的妻子不分昼夜地陪在他的床边。

  one night, Jake comes to and motions for her to come closer. He says, "My Sadie, you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what, Sadie?"

  一天晚上,杰克苏醒过来,示意他的妻子离近些,然后他说:“我的莎迪,你和我一起历经了多少的苦难呀,当我失业的时候,你在一旁支持我;当我生意失败的时候,你在一旁陪伴我;当我被打伤的时候,你在一旁陪伴我;当我们失去房产时,你在一旁陪伴我;当我生病的时候,你依旧在我的身边。你知道吗,莎迪?”

  "What dear?" she asked gently.

  “什么,亲爱的?”莎迪轻声地问。

  "I think you're bad luck.”

  “我觉得你的运气太差了。”

  爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇二

  A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. "There is no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought to him- self and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100, 110 and finally 120 with the lights still behind him.

  一个人刚刚买了一辆奔驰车,准备到州与州之间的公路上来一个夜晚兜风。他来到了最高处,微风轻轻拂过了他的发梢,这个人想让自己的爱车大显身手一番。指针指到了80英里/小时,突然,他看到了身后有一个闪烁的红蓝灯,“他们根本就别想追上我的奔驰。”他心想,于是加足了马力。指针指到90,100,110,最后到了120,可那个灯还在后面闪着。

  "What in hell am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "I’ve had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I don’t feel like more paperwork,so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before you can go”

  “我到底在干什么呀!”他突然想到了什么,马上把车停在了路旁。警察走了过来,二话没说就拿走了他的驾照,然后看了看驾照和车说:“我上晚班已很累了,这是我最后一次叫停车。你要是能给我一个我从来没听过的借口,说明你为什么开这快车,我就不再做什么记录了,你就可以离开。”

  “Last week my wife ran off with a cop,” The man said "and I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”

  “上星期我的妻子和一个警察跑了,”男的说,“我还以为你追我,是想把我妻子还给我呢!”

  "Have a nice night,” said the officer.

  警察说:“过一个愉快的夜晚。”

  爆笑英语笑话带翻译篇三

  A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London. The waiter says, "Excuse me, but if you wanted the steak you might not get one as there is a shortage.”

  一个德州人、一个俄国人和一个纽约人一起进了伦敦的一家餐馆里,服务员说:“打扰一下,如果您哪位想点牛排,我想我们无法满足您,因为现在缺货。”

  The Texan said, "What's a shortage?"

  德州人问:“缺货是什么意思?”

  The Russian said,"What's a steak?"

  俄国人问:“牛排是什么意思?”

  The New Yorker said, "What’s excuse me?"

  美国人问:“打扰一下是什么意思?”

  
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