经典英语笑话爆笑
经典英语笑话爆笑
笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。下面是学习啦小编精心收集的经典爆笑英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!
经典爆笑英语笑话篇一
Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table.
保罗正在一条拥挤的街市上闲逛，他停下来，坐在了一个看掌纹人的桌子前。
Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future.”
这个神秘的老妇人说:“巧美元，我可以看出你的爱情线和你浪漫的未来。”
Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend.”
保罗欣然地同意了，看掌纹的人看了一眼保罗的掌心说:“我知道你现在没有女朋友。”
"That's true,” said Paul.
“对，”保罗说。
"Oh my goodness，you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"
“哦，我的天啊，你非常的孤独，对吗?”
"Yes，”Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"
“对，”保罗害羞的承认了，“太神奇了，你从我的爱情线中看出了这么多事情。”
"Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters.”
“爱情线?不，我是从你手上的茧子和水泡中看出来的。”
经典爆笑英语笑话篇二
David St. John, 37，was the victim last week of what police say was a terrible mistake.
37岁的大卫·斯特·约翰，上周成了警察犯的一个大错误的牺牲品。
The two Hayward police officers used their batons to hit St. John, who they didn' t realize was blind，after mistaking his collapsible cane for an illegal martial arts weapon, said Lt. Mitchell Penn, the police department' s internal affairs officer.
警察署的内务警官米切尔·潘说，两名看守警察用警棍打了约翰先生，因为他们没有注意到约翰是一位盲人，错把他的折叠拐杖当作了一种违法的两节棍。
"It was a very regrettable incident,” Penn said Tuesday. "But from what I've seen so far it's not a case of overzealous officers. They had no idea he was blind-they were extremely upset when they found out.”
“这是一桩让人非常抱歉的案子。”潘在星期二时说:“但从我们所分析的情况来看，这不是由于警员过于认真造成的，而是他们确实不知道他是盲人—当他们知道真实情况后，后悔末及。”
Field training officer Eric Ristram said St. John placed in his pants pocket what appeared to be a nunchaku, a martial arts weapon consisting of two round sticks of wood connect by a chain.
野外训练军官伊瑞克·瑞斯姆说:“约翰裤兜里放着一个东西，看上去像是一根两节棍，它是由两个可旋转的木棍组成的，中间被一条链连着。”
The officers thought the man could see their uniforms so they didn't identify themselves when they told St. John to hand over the contents of his pockets. St. John said later he thought he was about to be mugged.
警官在让约翰交出兜里的东西时，以为约翰可以通过他制服来判断他的身份，所以没有出示证件，而约翰说他还以为自己遭劫了呢。
经典爆笑英语笑话篇三
A friend of mine claims this happened to a friend of hers:
我的一个朋友告诉我，这件事发生在她的一个朋友的身上。
She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. Aha, thought she，I have that monogrammed silver tray from my wedding that I never use. I’11 just take it to a silversmith and have him remove my monogram and put hers on it. Voila, one cheap wedding present.
她要去参加一个婚礼，需要带一份结婚礼物，她一想，“啊!有了，我结婚的时候收到了一个刻有名字的银盘，我还没有用过，我可以去找银匠，让他磨掉我的名字换上我朋友的名字，就是它了!一个实惠的结婚礼物。”
So she took it to the silversmith and asked him to remove her monogram and put the new one on. The silversmith took a look at the tray，shook his head，and said，.Lady, you can only do this so many times!”
于是她带着银盘去找银匠，问他能不能磨掉上面的名字，换上一个新的。银匠看了看盘子，摇了摇头说:“夫人，你已经这么做了无数次了吧。”
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