英语简短笑话大全爆笑
在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。学习啦小编整理了简短爆笑英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
简短爆笑英语笑话篇一
An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison.
一个老人独居在北爱尔兰，他的独生子正在坐牢。
The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone whowould help him plow up the garden.He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, ForHEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!
老人想在花园里种些土豆，但不知道谁可以帮忙把泥土翻松。他写信想儿子提及此事，儿子回信说道：“看在上帝的面上，千万不要翻松花园的泥土，我把枪埋在那儿了。”
At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden,but didn't find any guns.Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened andasking him what to do next.His son's reply was: Just plant your potatoes.
第二天凌晨4点，一队英国士兵出现在老人家中，在花园把土地翻遍，但并没有找到任何枪支。”老人写信告诉儿子这件奇怪的事情，问到底发生了什么事情，下一步应该怎么做。儿子回信道：“你只管种土豆好了。”
简短爆笑英语笑话篇二
At 2 a. m. Mrs. Culkin was convinced that she had heard a prowler in the living-room. Tiptoedown-stairs, she told her husband, "Don' t turn on the lights. Sneak up him before he knowswhat's happening."Dutifully Mr. Culkin put on his robe. Just as he reached the bedroom door,his wife added, "And when you come back, bring me a glass of milk."
半夜两点，科尔肯太太确信听到客厅有贼，便对丈夫说：“别开灯，蹑手蹑脚下楼，别让贼发觉，悄悄靠近他。” 科尔肯先生披上外套，责无旁贷地去捉贼。刚走到卧室门口，他妻子又补充说：“回来时给我捎杯牛奶。”
简短爆笑英语笑话篇三
No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother. Afriend gave him advice."Find a girl just like your mother -- then, she's bound to like her." Sothe young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl. He told his friendlyadviser:"Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked likemother, And just as you said, mother liked her". "So," asked the friend, "whathappened?""Nothing," said the young man. " My father hates her!".
有个小伙子发现，无论他带什么女孩子回家，妈妈都不赞成。一位朋友建议他，“你找一个像你母亲一样的女孩吧——你母亲肯定会喜欢她的”。这个小伙子就找啊找啊，终于找到了一个女孩。他告诉自己的朋友：“就像你说的，我找到了一个女孩，无论在感觉、说话、打扮，甚至烹饪手艺都很像母亲的，而且真的像你说的那样，妈妈很喜欢她。”“那么，”他的朋友问到，“发生了什么事?”“没事，”小伙子说，我父亲很讨厌她!”
简短爆笑英语笑话篇四
When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told methat the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.
由于我的打印机不能打印出清晰的字来，我就打电话给维修部。电话是一位非常和蔼的男人接的，他说我的打印机也许只是需要清理一下。
Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for meto read the printer's directions and try the job myself.
他还说，如果让维修部清理的话要交50英镑的清理费，让我最好看看使用手册自己试着清理。
Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discouragebusiness?"
当时我真的被他的话感动了，就问他：“你们老板知道你这样拒绝生意么?”
"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs ifwe let people try to repair things themselves first."
“事实上，这就是我们老板的主意，”雇员答道：“因为如果我们让用户先自行修理打印机的话就能挣更多的钱。”
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