英语笑话大全
英语笑话大全
笑话,是供人们消遣或交际的一种创造性的语言形式,其主要功能是调侃、娱乐或讽刺。它是人们生活中不可或缺的组成部分,与社会密切相关。小编精心收集了爆笑英文笑话故事，供大家欣赏学习!
爆笑英文笑话故事篇1
The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered: "I am out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirty rope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it up and took it home."
"But it is not against the law to pick up a piece of rope and take home!"
"I told you I had bad luck, didn't I?" the man sighed, "The trouble is that I didn't notice there was an ox at the other end of that rope."
在监狱里，一个人问新来的犯人为什么被关进来。新来的犯人回答说：“我想我真是倒霉。几天前我在街上走的时候，看到一根脏绳子，以为没人要了，便捡起来带了回家。”
“但是，捡一根绳子带回家并不犯法啊!”“我告诉过你我倒霉了吧?”那个人叹了口气，“麻烦的就是我没有注意到绳子的那一头还有一头公牛。”
爆笑英文笑话故事篇2
The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George alwayssat alone in his cell.
So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?"
George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"
典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感同情，因为每逢周末的探访日，大多数囚犯都有家人或朋友来访，但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。
因此在一个探访日，典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说：“乔治，我注意到从来没有人来探望过你。”他满怀同情地把手放在乔治的肩膀上：“告诉我，你没有任何朋友或家人吗?”
乔治回答：“喔!当然有，典狱长，只不过他们全都在这里面!”
爆笑英文笑话故事篇3
When a very miserly(吝啬的) man nicknamed the "stingy ghost" died and went to hell, the Yama King reproached(责斥) him, saying, "You stingy ghost! When you were alive, you clung hard to everything and wouldn't give to anyone. Even when you saw others in poverty and misery, you refused to offer them help. Also, you didn't take good care of your parents, relatives or friends and let them suffer and starve. For your evil karma(因果报应) , you'll be dumped into a pot of boiling oil."
The ghost wardens then escorted the man to the pot of boiling oil, and when they arrived, he looked at the pot and said, "Hey! Wait a minute! There's so much oil in it. What a waste! Please drain out the oil, sell it and give me the money. Then, you can simply dump me in a pot of boiling water! There's no need for oil. You're using too much oil to cook one person anyway!"
有一个人很吝啬，叫吝啬鬼，他死了以后下地狱，阎罗王骂他说：“你这个吝啬鬼，在尘间的时候什么东西都抓很紧不放，什么人都不给，看到贫穷、痛苦的人也不帮助，父母、亲戚、朋友也没有照顾好，让他们都挨饿受苦，你这种凶恶的业障，应该被放入滚开的油锅里面。”
鬼差就带他到滚得很热、很烫的油锅那边，吝啬鬼一看就说：“喔，等一下、慢一下!油那么多，怎么那么浪费呢?你们先把这些油倒出来，卖出去后把钱给我，然后丢我在热烫的水里就可以了!何必用油，而且还用那么多油!”
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