英语的小笑话
笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的英语知识。小编精心收集了英语小笑话短文，供大家欣赏学习!
英语小笑话短文篇1
Keep Your Head
头脑要保持冷静!
A young man was working in the produce section of a grocery store when a customer askedhim for half a head of cabbage.
有一个年轻人在一家杂货店的农产部门工作，一天一位顾客要向他买半颗包心菜。
"Sir, we don't sell half heads of anything. "
“先生，我们东西都没有卖半颗的。”
"Well, I insist, I 0nly want half a head. "
“哎呀，我就买半颗，我只要半颗。”
"I'll ask the manager. "
“我要问问经理才行。”
The young man walked to the manager's office and, not realizing that the customer hadfollowed him, said to the manager,
那名年轻人走到经理的办公室，不知道那位顾客尾随着他，他对经理说道：
"Sir, some asshole wants to buy just half a head of cabbage. "
“经理，有个浑蛋只要买半颗包心菜。”
Turning and noticing the customer, he quickly added,
他转身发现那名顾客，立刻又补充说：
"And this gentleman wants the other half. "
“而这位先生要买另一半。”
Later, the manager took the young man aside and said,
稍后，经理把他拉到一旁说道：
"That was quick thinking, young fellow. We can use bright lads like you. If I hear of a higherposition opening up, I'll keep you in mind. "
“年轻人，你反应真快。我们需要像你这么聪明的人，如果有较高的职位空缺，我会记得你的。”
Sure enough, a few weeks later the manager told the young man that an assistant manager'sspot had become vacant in the company's store in Edmonton.
几个星期之后，经理告诉那名年轻人在艾得蒙敦分店有个经理的职位空缺。
"Edmonton!" blurted out the young man. "Why, there's nothing in Edmonton but hookers andhockey, event hockey players，
“艾得蒙敦!”年轻人叫了出来，“那儿有的只是妓女和曲棍球选手而已。”
"Young man , my wife happens to come from Edmonton! "
“年轻人，我太太刚好来自艾得蒙敦!”
"No kidding, sir? what posltion does she play?"
“真的吗?经理，那她是打哪一个位置呢?”
英语小笑话短文篇2
Home Sweet Home
还是家里好
A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.
一位外科医生刚从非洲狩猎回来。
"How did it go?" asked his colleagues.
“这次打猎顺利吗?”同僚问道。
"Oh , it was very disappointing," replied the surgeon.
“喔，实在太令人失望了，”外科医生答道。
"I didn't kill a thing. In fact, I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. "
“我什么也没猎杀到，实际上，还是待在医院里比较有成就感。”
英语小笑话短文篇3
You Do Have a Problem
你真是有问题了!
A man reported to his doctor that he was having trouble going to the bathroom.
一位老兄对医生说明他上厕所有困难。
"Do you urinate in the morning?" asked the doctor.
“你早上有小便吗?，’医生问他。
"Yeah, every morning at six o'clock. "
“有，每天早上六点钟。”
"And how are your bowel movements?"
“那大便情况如何?"
"Seven o'clock every morning, just like clockwork. "
“像时钟一样，我每天准时七点钟上大号。”
"So what's the problem?"
“那问题到底出在哪里呢?"
"I don't get up until eight. "
“我八点钟才起床。”
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