英语笑话大全
笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。小编精心收集了爆笑英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
爆笑英语笑话篇1
God is Watching
上帝在看着
The students were lined up in the cafeteria for lunch.
学生们在食堂排队吃午餐。
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
在桌子的一头有一大堆苹果。
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
修女写了一张纸条，贴在苹果托盘上:
"Take only one. God is watching."
“只能拿一个。上帝在看着你。”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolatechip cookies.
顺着午餐队伍往前走，在桌子的另一端有一大堆巧克力饼干。
A child had written a note,
一个孩子写了一张纸条，
"Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
“想要多少拿多少，上帝正看着苹果呢。”
爆笑英语笑话篇2
May We Have Our Teacher Back?
能让我们老师回去吗?
While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board of Education became provoked at thenoise the unruly students were making in the next room.
在访问一听乡村学校时，教育委员会主席因为隔壁房间里不守规矩的学生们发出的噪音而愤怒不已。
Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing mostof the talking.
他气愤地推开门，一把抓住一个身材较高的男生，他似乎说话最多。
He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner.
他拖着男生到另一个房间，并让他站在墙角。
A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded,
几分钟后，一个小男孩探进头来，恳求道:
"Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?"
“求求您，先生，能让我们的老师回去吗?”
爆笑英语笑话篇3
Do You Know Who I Am?
你知道我是谁吗?
It was the final examination for a Biology course at a university.
这是一所大学的生物课期末考试。
It was designed to weed out some students.
考试旨在淘汰部分学生。
The examination was two hours long.
考试时间为两小时。
After the exam booklets were provided, the professor told the class，
分发试题册后，教授对学生们说，
that any exam booklet that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be acceptedand the student would fail.
两小时结束后任何没交的试题册他都不再接收，没交的学生一律不及格。
Half of an hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exambooklet.
考试开始后半小时，个学生匆匆跑了进来，向教授要试题册。
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handedthe student a booklet.
“你没有时间答完试题的，”教授一边把试题册递给学生，一边讽刺地说。
"Yes, I will," replied the student.
“不，我有，”学生回答。
He then took a seat and began writing.
然后他坐下来开始答题。
After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handedthem in.
两小时后，教授要求交卷，学生们把试卷整理好，交了卷。
All except the late student, who continued writing.
只有那名迟到的学生还继续写着。
An hour later, the student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing forhis next class.
一小时后，学生走到教授跟前，教授正坐在桌旁准备下一节课。
He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
学生试图把试卷放在桌上的一堆试题册上。
"I'm not going to accept that. It's late."
“我不会接收的。太晚了。”
The student looked incredulous and angry.
学生看上去将信将疑，有些生气。
"Do you know who I am?"
“你知道我是谁吗?”
"No, as a matter of fact, I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
“不，说实话，我不知道，”教授回答说，言语中带着嘲讽的语气。
"Do you know who I am?" the student asked again in a louder voice.
“你知道我是谁吗?”学生又问，声音更响亮了。
"No." replied the professor with an air of superiority.
“不知道，我也不在乎”教授回答，面露优越的神色。“那就好，”学生说着快速地拿起一叠试卷，把他的塞到中间，然后走出了教室。
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in themiddle, and walked out of the room.
“那就好，”学生说着快速地拿起一叠试卷，把他的塞到中间，然后走出了教室。
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