英语笑话2分钟
英语笑话2分钟
冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。小编精心收集了2分钟英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
2分钟英语笑话篇1
磕睡之人
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon. As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon.
收师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时睡觉。一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人打瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好地教育他不要睡觉。
In a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise，" Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering" Be seated"，the minister shouted at the top of his voice，"All those who want to be with the devil，please rise. "
他低声地对教徒们说:“想去天堂的人都站起来。”除打瞌睡的人外，每个人都站了起来。牧师说过请坐之后，高声喊道:“下地狱的请站起来!”
Awaking with a start，the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit,”Well，sir," he said.,"I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声所惊醒，站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气地望着他。他说:“先生，我不知我们在选什么，但看上去你和我是唯一的侯选人。”
2分钟英语笑话篇2
聪明的鸟
When the burglar broke into a seemingly empty room one night, a voice suddenly shattered the silence ;"I see you,and the saint sees you. "
一位窃贼一天夜里闯进一个好像没有人的空房子。突然寂静中传来一声:“我看见你了，圣人也看见你了。”
The shaken thief took another tentative step.“I see you，”the voice said again:“and the saint sees you.“With that，the burglar shined his flashlight in the direction that the voice was coming from. There，in the circle of light，sat a parrot.
这位惊恐不安的贼又试图再走一步，那个声音又说:“我看见你了，圣人也看见你了。”听到声音，窃绒用手电照着声音所传来的方向。在那边儿，一束灯光下坐着一只鹦鹉。
"Dumb bird,!'the burglar uttered in relief.
“该死的鸟，”窃贼像松了口气似地骂着。
"I see you，”the parrot repeated,”and the saint sees you. "
“我看见你了。”鹦鹉重复地叨唠着:“圣人也看见你了。”
"Shut up，“the man snarled as he turned on a lamp， that's when he saw the menacing Doberman Pinscher sitting beside the parrot's perch，staring at him with glittering eyes.
“闭嘴，”窃贼边开灯，边喊叫着。这时他发现一条眼光咄咄逼人的构坐在鹦鹉旁。
" Sic' em，Saint,"squawked the parrot.
鹦鹉尖叫着:“圣人，扑呀!扑呀!”
2分钟英语笑话篇3
昂贵的投资
A father had four sons. One went to the big city,where he became a wealthy businessman，the other three remained in their home town. When their father passed away,the successful son was too busy to attend the funeral，but he told his brothers to spare no expense，since he would pay all the costs.
一位父亲有四个儿子。一个儿子到了大城市成了一位富商，另外三个儿子留在了家乡。当父亲过世时，有钱的儿子太忙无法前来参加葬礼。但他吩咐其兄弟们，不要舍不得花钱，一切费用由他来支付。
Shortly thereafter，the wealthy son received an bill for ,000 from the funeral director，which he paid. But every month afterward he got a bill for . Curious about this little item, he wrote to his brothers and asked the reason for the monthly charge.”You told us that we should spare no expense，“his brothers wrote back.“Since you said Dad would like to be in style，we rented him a tuxedo."
事隔不久，做富商的儿子从殡仪馆主管那儿收到了一张5000美元的发票，他付了帐。从这以后，他每月都收到一张27美元的帐票。他对这笔微薄的开销有点儿好奇，于是就写信给其兄弟，想知道其中的原因。
他的兄弟们写回信告诉他:“你告诉我们不必节省。既然你说爸爸的穿着要高稚脱俗，所以我们为他租了一套黑色礼服。”
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