经典爆笑笑话
经典爆笑笑话
幽默寓于笑话之中，它是笑话的精料，智慧之所在。笑话是幽默的载体，一个成功的笑话能流传千古，听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜，拍掌叫好!下面是学习啦小编整理的经典爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!
经典爆笑笑话一：Two roaches 两只蟑螂
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant."I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines.""Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
两只蟑螂正在一条小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着，其中的一只谈起了它在一家新开张的餐馆里的经历。“那时我在街对面的那家新餐馆里，”它说。“那里太干净了!厨房没有一点污渍，地面闪着白光。任何地方都没有垃圾。那里是如此干净，整个地方都在发光。”“请不要在我吃东西的时候说这个好吗?”另一只蟑螂不悦地说。
经典爆笑笑话二：我需要器官移植
The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."
这个病人显得很坚决。“医生，我需要做肝脏移植、肾脏移植、心脏移植、角膜移植、脾脏移植、胰腺移植和……” “你为什么认为你需要做这么多移植手术?”病人回答：“哦，是这样，我的老板说如果我这个人不重新组装的话，就别想保住我的工作!”
经典爆笑笑话三：埋在花园里的枪
Guns Buried in the Garden An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden. He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!" At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
一个老人独居在北爱尔兰，他的独生子正在坐牢。老人想在花园里种些土豆，但不知道谁可以帮忙把泥土翻松。他写信想儿子提及此事，儿子回信说道：“看在上帝的面上，千万不要翻松花园的泥土，我把枪埋在那儿了。”第二天凌晨4点，一队英国士兵出现在老人家中，在花园把土地翻遍，但并没有找到任何枪支。” 老人写信告诉儿子这件奇怪的事情，问到底发生了什么事情，下一步应该怎么做。 儿子回信道：“你只管种土豆好了。”
经典爆笑笑话四：儿童英语笑话故事：可怜的乔治
George is a little monkey. He lives in a deep forest. He likesjumping and climbing trees. He is happy every day. But he has ashortcoming. He is curious.
乔治是一只小猴子。他住在大森林里。他喜欢在树上跳来跳去，爬上爬下。他整天都乐呵呵的。但是他有个毛病，就是太好奇。
One day an old man goes by the forest. He carries a lot of straw hats. George sees the man, and the man sees George, too. The man says to himself, “What a lovely monkey! I will catch him. I will take him home.”
一天， 一个老人路过大森林，他带着许多草帽。乔治看见了这个老人，老人也看见他了。老人自言自语道：“多可爱的猴子啊!我要捉住他，把他带回家去。”
The man sits down and thinks over. George sees and also sits down.
老人坐下来。想着办法。乔治看见了，也坐下来。
The man has an idea. He puts a hat on his head, and puts other hats on the ground. Then he pretends to sleep.
不一会老人有个办法，他戴上一顶帽子，又把其他帽子放在地上，然后假装睡觉。
George is curious and looks at the hats. “I will be nice if I put a hat on my head.” George thinks. Then he climbs down from the tree, picks up a hat and puts it on. The hat is too big, and covers George’s eyes. George can’t see. And the man gets up at once, rushesout and catches him quickly.
乔治很好奇，看看帽子，心想：“要是我戴上一顶，肯定好看。”于是爬下树，捡起一顶帽子戴在头上。可是帽子太大了，遮住了他的眼睛了。那个老人一下站起来，冲过去，迅速地捉住乔治。
经典爆笑笑话五：Poor George!
可怜的乔治啊!
儿童英语笑话故事：狼和狗
There is a wolf. He is very hungry and has no strength to find food. As he lies under a large tree, a dog sees him. The dog sees the wolf is so thin and hungry, and he feels sorry for him and says, “You are so terrible! Are you hungry?”
有一只狼，他非常饿，而且饿得没有力气去找吃的了。当他躺在一棵大树下时，一只狗看见了他。看到狼又饿又瘦，狗挺可怜他的：“你看上去真可怕。你很饿啊?”
“Yes,” says the wolf, “I’m hungry because you are guarding the sheep. Now I am so weak that I can’t find food. I think I will do.”
“是的。”狼说，“我饿是因为你和你的伙伴看守着羊群。现在我弱得没法去找食物。我想我就快要死了。”
“Why not help me?” Asks the dog, “I work regularly and I eat regularly. You could do the same. You can help me guard the sleep. In that way, I will not worry about your stealingthe sheep, and you will not worry about going hungry. It’s good for us.
“为什么不帮我呢?”狗说，“我们按时工作，准时吃饭。你也行的。你可以帮我看羊群。那样我就不用担心你会来偷羊，你也不用担心挨饿了。这对我们都有好处。”
The wolf thinks it over and thinks the dog is right. So they walk to the dog’s house. As they are walking, the wolf sees that only the hair of the dog’s neck is very thin. He iscurious about this. So he asks the dog about it.
狼考虑了一下，觉得狗说的对，他们就一起朝狗的屋子走去了。正走着，狼看见口脖子上的毛很少。他觉得好奇，就问狗怎么回事。
“Oh, don’t worry about that,” says the dog, “It’s the place where the collar ties on the neck. My master chains me up at night.”
“啊，别担心，”狗说，“这是系狗项圈的地方，晚上主人会把我拴起来。”
“Chained up!” shouts the wolf, “Do you mean that you are chained up at night? If I come to live with you, will I be chained up at night, too?”
“拴起来?”狼叫起来，“你是说晚上你会拴起来?如果我去和你住，晚上也会被拴起来?”
“That’s night,” says the dog, “But, you’ll get used to it.”
“没错，”狗说，“但是你会习惯的。”
“But, if I am chained up, I won’t be free.” After saying this, the wolf turns round and runs away.
“但是，如果被拴起来，我就不自由了。”说完，狼转身跑了。
The dog shouts, “Wait! Come back! I’m not free, but I’m healthy. I have good food, and a warm place to sleep. I like enjoying life. In fact, I’m freer than you are.”
狗大声喊道：“等等!回来!我是不自由，可是我很健康，我有好的食物，有个温暖的地方睡觉。你太喜欢享受生活了。我其实比你还自由些。”