简短英文笑话大全爆笑
冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。学习啦小编整理了简短的爆笑英文笑话，欢迎阅读!
简短的爆笑英文笑话篇一
Change of Plan
临时改变主意
Frank and Fred had received their draft notices on the same day, and neither wanted to enterthe army.
法兰克和佛烈德两人同一天收到召集令，两人都不想去服兵役。
But Frank had heard that the army would not accept anyone without teeth, so they both had alltheir teeth pulled.
但法兰克曾经听人说军中不收没有牙齿的人，因此他们两人都把所有的牙齿给拔掉了。
On the day of their medical exam, Frank and Fred got in line, but a huge, hairy, smelly truckdriver cut in between them.
在体格检查那天，他们两人排在同一排队伍，可是有一个大块头、满身毛发而且臭味难当的卡车司机插在他们中间。
As Frank got up to the head of the line, he announced to the inspecting sergeant that he hadno teeth.
当法兰克排到队伍的前头时，他对检查的班长说他没有牙齿，
The sergeant had Frank open his mouth, ran his forefinger over the raw gums and said,
那名士官要他张开嘴巴，接着用食指在他红肿的牙龈绕了一圈后说道：
"Sure enough, you don’t. You’re rejected. "
“没错，你没牙齿，不用当兵!”
Turning to the truck driver, he asked, 'What's your problem?"
接着轮到卡车司机，士官说：“你有什么问题吗?”
The trucker said, "I've got a tremendous case of the piles."
卡车司机说道：“我患有严重的痔疮。”
The sergeant had the fellow bend over, inserted his fore finger and rotated it aroundthoroughly,
班长要那个家伙弯下身去，用他的食指在肛门转了一整圈后说道：
"Sure enough, you've got a bad case. Rejected!"
“没错，你的情形很严重，不合格!”
Turning to Fred, the sergeant demanded, "And what's your problem?"
再轮到佛烈德时，班长又问：“那你的问题是什么?”
Staring at the forefinger, Fred replied, "Nothing at all, sergeant, nothing at all. "
凝视着他的食指，佛烈德答道：“没什么问题，班长，我一点问题也没有。”
简短的爆笑英文笑话篇二
You Do Have a Problem
你真是有问题了!
A man reported to his doctor that he was having trouble going to the bathroom.
一位老兄对医生说明他上厕所有困难。
"Do you urinate in the morning?" asked the doctor.
“你早上有小便吗?，’医生问他。
"Yeah, every morning at six o'clock. "
“有，每天早上六点钟。”
"And how are your bowel movements?"
“那大便情况如何?"
"Seven o'clock every morning, just like clockwork. "
“像时钟一样，我每天准时七点钟上大号。”
"So what's the problem?"
“那问题到底出在哪里呢?"
"I don't get up until eight. "
“我八点钟才起床。”
简短的爆笑英文笑话篇三
Home Sweet Home
还是家里好
A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.
一位外科医生刚从非洲狩猎回来。
"How did it go?" asked his colleagues.
“这次打猎顺利吗?”同僚问道。
"Oh , it was very disappointing," replied the surgeon.
“喔，实在太令人失望了，”外科医生答道。
"I didn't kill a thing. In fact, I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. "
“我什么也没猎杀到，实际上，还是待在医院里比较有成就感。”
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