关于英语小笑话介绍
笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。小编精心收集了短一点爆笑英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
短一点爆笑英语笑话篇1
A Smart Witness
聪明的目击人
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying.
有一名车祸目击证人正在出庭作证。
The lawyer asked him,"Did you actually see the accident?"
律师问他：“你确实看见了这起车祸吗?”
The witness:"Yes,sir."
目击证人说：“是的， 长官."
The lawyer :"How far away were you when the accident happened?"
律师说：“当车祸发生的时候，你在多远的地方?”
The witness:"Thirty-one feet,six and one quarter inches."
目击证人说：“三十一英尺，六又四分之一 英尺。”
The lawyer(thinking he'd trap the witness):"Well ,sir,will you please tell the jury how you knewit was exactly that distance?"
这名律师说(心想他会让这务目击证人陷，入阴谋的勘计之中)：“那好吧，先生，请你告诉陪审团，你怎么知道确实是那个距离昵?”
The witness:"Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it.I knewsome annoying lawyer would ask me that silly question."
目击证人说:“因为当车祸发生的时候，就拿出了卷尽测量过宦。我早知道会莉一个令人伤脑筋.律师问。我那个蠢问题 。”
短一点爆笑英语笑话篇2
A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。
Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians have despised and reviled me. "
那位犹太人对圣彼得说：“坦白讲，能到这里让我蛮惊讶的，我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。”
"That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here. Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."
“我们实在感到非常遗憾，”圣彼得说，“但我们这里没有那样的偏见，这里每个人都完全平等，只要拼出God这个词你就能进入天堂。”
the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward and said,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in a reservation.Will I truly be free here?"
那名犹太人正确地拼出God后，被招入门内。接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得，我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击，而且只能住在居留地内，我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?”
"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "
“小兄弟，你的烦恼已经结束了，只要拼出God这个词，你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。”
The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.
印第安人照着做，不久也被引入天堂。
Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on me and treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"
接着那名黑人跨步向前，“圣彼得，”他说道，“一辈子人们都瞧不起我，不公平对待我，在这里那些事不会发生吧!”
"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and the Kingdom of Heaven is yours "
“当然不会，我的弟兄，我们不会做那样的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词，天堂之国就是你的了!”
短一点爆笑英语笑话篇3
The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnantwith her ninth. Finallyshe convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.
一对黑人夫妇已有八个小孩，而鲁拉·梅又怀了第九个小孩,最后她说服了她先生去做男性绝育手术。
On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husbandputting on a tuxedoand getting into a limousine for the short ride to thehospital.
手术的早晨，她惊讶地看见她老公穿着礼服，乘坐一辆礼车到不远的医院去。
"Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May.
"亲爱的，这是怎么一回事啊?鲁拉·梅问道。"
"Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important.
"宝贝，如果你想当名大人物的话，就要让人一看就知道你很重要!"
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