最经典的短英文笑话阅读
最经典的短英文笑话阅读
笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。学习啦小编分享最经典的短英文笑话，希望可以帮助大家!
最经典的短英文笑话：And Stuff the Cuffs in Your Boots
把裤脚塞到你的靴子里面去
The untried general faced battle the next day, and was more than a little frightened.
一位未曾有过作战经验的将军非常惶恐，因为第二天将有个战役要面对。
Seeking inspiration, he looked into the history of great commanders and learned that Wellington had always dressed in red for battle,
为了寻找灵感，他翻查了历年来伟大将领的档案，发现威灵顿将军每次战斗中都身穿红色衣服，
so that his men would not realize if he were shot.
万一他被射伤的话，他的士兵也不会发现。
Instantly he called in his adjutant and ordered a pair of trousers in a rich, dark brown.
于是他传了副官进来并指示手下做了一条深褐色的裤子。
最经典的短英文笑话Keep Your Head
头脑要保持冷静!
A young man was working in the produce section of a grocery store when a customer askedhim for half a head of cabbage.
有一个年轻人在一家杂货店的农产部门工作，一天一位顾客要向他买半颗包心菜。
"Sir, we don't sell half heads of anything. "
“先生，我们东西都没有卖半颗的。”
"Well, I insist, I 0nly want half a head. "
“哎呀，我就买半颗，我只要半颗。”
"I'll ask the manager. "
“我要问问经理才行。”
The young man walked to the manager's office and, not realizing that the customer hadfollowed him, said to the manager,
那名年轻人走到经理的办公室，不知道那位顾客尾随着他，他对经理说道：
"Sir, some asshole wants to buy just half a head of cabbage. "
“经理，有个浑蛋只要买半颗包心菜。”
Turning and noticing the customer, he quickly added,
他转身发现那名顾客，立刻又补充说：
"And this gentleman wants the other half. "
“而这位先生要买另一半。”
Later, the manager took the young man aside and said,
稍后，经理把他拉到一旁说道：
"That was quick thinking, young fellow. We can use bright lads like you. If I hear of a higherposition opening up, I'll keep you in mind. "
“年轻人，你反应真快。我们需要像你这么聪明的人，如果有较高的职位空缺，我会记得你的。”
Sure enough, a few weeks later the manager told the young man that an assistant manager'sspot had become vacant in the company's store in Edmonton.
几个星期之后，经理告诉那名年轻人在艾得蒙敦分店有个经理的职位空缺。
"Edmonton!" blurted out the young man. "Why, there's nothing in Edmonton but hookers andhockey, event hockey players，
“艾得蒙敦!”年轻人叫了出来，“那儿有的只是妓女和曲棍球选手而已。”
"Young man , my wife happens to come from Edmonton! "
“年轻人，我太太刚好来自艾得蒙敦!”
"No kidding, sir? what posltion does she play?"
“真的吗?经理，那她是打哪一个位置呢?”
最经典的短英文笑话：Home Sweet Home
还是家里好
A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.
一位外科医生刚从非洲狩猎回来。
"How did it go?" asked his colleagues.
“这次打猎顺利吗?”同僚问道。
"Oh , it was very disappointing," replied the surgeon.
“喔，实在太令人失望了，”外科医生答道。
"I didn't kill a thing. In fact, I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. "
“我什么也没猎杀到，实际上，还是待在医院里比较有成就感。”
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