幽默英语笑话故事阅读
幽默英语笑话故事阅读
看笑话好处多多，可治疗郁抑症,精神分裂症,老年痴呆症,骨质疏松,心肌梗塞,冠心病,脑血栓,以及心烦,失眠等。学习啦小编整理了幽默英语笑话故事，欢迎阅读!
幽默英语笑话故事：Gorilla In a Tree
As he was quietly watching television at home, the chap heard a sound on the roof of his house and rushed out to investigate. Seeing it was a fair-sized gorilla tearing the shingles off his home, he promptly called up the local zoo authorities to inform them one of their animals had escaped. He was reassured that a gorilla recovering units was on the way and to remain calm.
A few minutes later, an old beat up truck, displaying the Gorilla recovery unit logo on its panels, pulled up to the house. The elderly driver proceeds to recover from the back of the truck, a chiwawa dog, a pair of handcuffs, a ladder, a baseball bat, and a 12-gauge shotgun. Puzzled on how this lone elderly was to solve the problem of this gorilla that had by now torn half the roof apart, the chap asked him how he would go about doing this. As he handed him over the 12-gauge shotgun, the zoo employee explained the plan:
"First I'll climb up there with the ladder. Then I'll approach the gorilla and knock him off the roof using the baseball bat. As soon as the gorilla hits the ground, the specially trained chiwawa will attack its private parts. When I get back on the ground, the gorilla will have lowered its hands to its groin area to protect itself thus making it easy for me to slip on the handcuffs. Then, I lead him to the truck, lock him up and take him back to the zoo..."
Amazed at the procedure, the somewhat startled house owner asked why he was handed the 12-gauge shotgun?
"Well," explained the experienced gorilla retriever, "It's just a precaution should things not go exactly as planned. In the unlikely event that once on the roof the gorilla knocks me off with the baseball, shoot the dog."
幽默英语笑话故事：谁的爸爸是最强壮的
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."
Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!"
中文翻译：
维尔和比尔在争吵，谁的爸爸是更强壮的一个。维尔说：“你知道太平洋吗? 那个坑是我爸爸挖的。”
比尔不屑地说：“那没什么。你知道死海吗? 那是我爸爸打死的。”
幽默英语笑话故事：弄巧成拙
One evening my husband's golfing buddy drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although this was an innocent gesture，he decided not to mention it to his wife,who tended to get jealous easily.
一天晚上，我丈夫一位打高尔夫球的朋友开车送他的秘书回家。那个秘书是因为在公司的招待会上喝多了点儿，不能自己驾车回家。这事虽然无可厚非，但是他还是决定不把这事告诉他那爱吃蜡的妻子。
Later that night my husband's friend and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly he looked down and spotted a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat.Not wanting to be conspicuous， he waited until his wife was looking out of her window before he ,scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car. With a sigh of relief , he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That's when he noticed his wife squirming around in her .seat.” Honey,"she asked，“have you seen my other shoe?"
也就在同天晚上，这位朋友送走秘书后，又带着妻子驱车去饭店吃晚饭。无意中他看见一只高跟鞋半掩在后座椅子下。他不想引起怀疑，趁妾子扭头看窗外的时侯，掏出了那只鞋，把它扔出了车外。他大大地松了一口气，把汽车停在了饭店外的停车场。这时，他发现他妻子正低头找着什么东西。妻子问:“亲爱的，你看见我的那只鞋了吗?"
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