用英语说的笑话
在民间文学的各种体裁中 ,民间笑话的材料很多 ,也是时下最为流行的民间叙事类型。下面是学习啦小编带来的用英语说的冷笑话，欢迎阅读!
用英语说的冷笑话篇一
Guaranteed visits 有保证的探望
An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.
布鲁克林的一位年迈的妇女决定准备自己的遗嘱，提出最后的要求。她告诉自己的犹太教士说她有两个临终前的要求。第一，她要火化;第二，她要把骨灰撒到布鲁明黛。
"Bloomingdales!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?"
“布鲁明黛!”教士叫道，“为什么在布鲁明黛?”
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
“那样的话我女儿肯定一周会探望我两次。”
Note:
布鲁明黛(Bloomingdale's)是一家连锁百货公司，与梅西百货同属联邦百货公司旗下。布鲁明黛在美国有超过36家分店。
用英语说的冷笑话篇二
Calming your son 让你儿子静下来
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."
一个人在超市里推着购物车，一个小孩子在车里不停的大吵大叫。推车的男人一直温柔地念叨着：”别激动，阿尔伯特，别嚷出来，阿尔伯特，别叫，阿尔伯特，冷静，阿尔伯特。"
A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying tosoothe your son, Albert."
站在他旁边的一位女士对他说道：“您能这样安慰您的儿子阿尔伯特真的让我们感到很不容易。”
The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."
男人看着那位女士说：“太太，我是阿尔伯特。
用英语说的冷笑话篇三
All-purpose Dissolvent(万能溶剂)
A young man saw Edison, said : “I wanna(=want to ) develop a sort of all-purpose dissolvent, by which can dissolve(溶解) all materials.” Edison asked a question in reply : “ In that case, what container shall you hold it with?”
一个后生找到爱迪生，说：“我准备研制一种万能溶剂，它能溶解一切物质。”爱迪生反问：“那你用什么来盛它呢?”
用英语说的冷笑话篇四
Automobile Fittings(汽车配件)
A lorry driver makes inquiry of a mountaineer :" Excuse me, where can I buy theauto accessories (配件,帮凶) in the neighborhood ?"
Mountaineer says:" Some people usually drive heroic car on the road .There is a abrupt turn ahead not far from here, and a clough(峡谷，深谷) just below it, where you can find all kinds of the auto accessories . You will spend no money at all."
一个卡车司机向一山民打听：“请问，这附近哪儿能买到汽车配件?”
山民说：“这条路上经常有人开英雄车，前面不远处是个急转弯，急转弯的下面就是深谷，那深谷里什么样的汽车配件都有——根本用不着花钱。”
用英语说的冷笑话篇五
At Auction Fair (拍卖会上)
At auction spot, someone has lost a bag, in which has the vital document. The owner says:" Once who picked it up brings it to me, I will take out 200 dollars to remunerate (re`munerate与reward近意：酬劳，酬报 ) him or her." On hearing the news ,another chap shouts out:" I reward 300 dollars."
拍卖会上，有人的包丢了，里面装有重要文件。物主说：“有谁拣到送还，我将拿出200美元以表酬谢。”话刚出口，就听有人喊：“我出300美元。”
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