每日搞笑英语笑话大全
笑话作为一种特殊的交际策略，它能够帮助人们缓解尴尬的气氛，从而保持和谐的人际关系。因此，古今中外，许多学者都致力于对它的研究。下面是学习啦小编带来的每日搞笑英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
每日搞笑英语笑话篇一
An Exact Number 准确数字
A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur(恐龙) bones lying about.
How old are these bones? the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide.
Exactly one hundred million and three years old.
How can you be so sure? inquired the tourist.
Well, replied the guide, a geologist(地质学家) came by here and told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three years ago.
一位游客在新墨西哥游览，他对随处可见的恐龙化石甚感惊奇。
这些化石有多长的历史?游客问一个上了年纪的当地美国人，他是作向导的。
整整十亿零三年了。
你怎么这么肯定?游客问道。
哦，向导回答道，一个地质学家来过这儿，他告诉我说这些化石有十亿年了，再加上那是整整三年前的事了。
每日搞笑英语笑话篇二
Who should be given the present
A father of five children came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present, "Who is the most obedient(顺从的) , never talks back to Mother and does everything he or she is told?" He inquired. There was silence, and then a chorus(合唱，齐声) of voices: "You play with it, Daddy!" 一位有五个孩子的父亲带着一件玩具回到家里，把孩子们召集起来问这件礼物该给谁。“谁最听话，从不和妈妈顶嘴，让干什么就干什么?”他问道。 大家都不吭声。过了一会儿，孩子们异口同声地说：“爸爸，您玩吧。”
每日搞笑英语笑话篇三
Not too Bad 不算太坏
"Did you sell any of your paintings at the art show?"
"No, but I am encouraged," he replied. "Somebody stole one."
“你的画在美术展上有卖出去吗?”
“没有，但我还是受到了鼓励，”他回答说，“有人偷走了一幅。”
每日搞笑英语笑话篇四
The Kings Brother 国王的兄弟
A poor man, presenting himself before the King of Spain, asked his charity, telling him that he was his brother.
Thinking desiring to know how he claimed kindred(家族，亲属关系) to him, the poor fellow replied, We are all descended from one common father and mother viz., Adam and Eve. Upon which the king gave him a little copper piece of money.
The poor man began to be moan himself, saying, Is it possible that your Majesty should give no more than this to your brother? Away, away, replies the king: if all the brothers you have in the world give you as much as I have done, you'll be richer than I am.
一个穷汉去见西班牙国王，说自己是他的兄弟，求他施恩周济。
国王想知道他何以攀认亲戚，穷汉回答说，我们有共同的祖先亚当和夏娃。听了这话，国王就给了他一个小铜子儿。
于是穷人开始叫屈，说：难道您国王陛下就给兄弟这么一点点钱吗?走开，快走，国王回答，如果世界上你所有的兄弟们都像我这样给你一个铜板，你就比我还有钱了。
每日搞笑英语笑话篇五
Senior Class 年长者阶层
Senior Class
During the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, I told him that Mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. Delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. He then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.
When he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "Can you imagine, " she said. "Seventy dollars and I had to kiss him too!"
年长者阶层
医生按期来探视我的老母。我告诉他母亲不几天就要庆祝她98岁的生日了。医生听了也很高兴，为此，他弯下腰来亲了她一下。然后他说不几天他也要庆祝自己的生日，并要求她还他一个吻。
医生走后，我母亲厌恶地摇摇头。“你能想象吗，”她说，“付了他70元，我还得亲他!”
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