双语阅读：不怕你的另一半性格内向

　　摘要：大多数人对内向的人抱有偏见，当然我也不例外。是的，他们比较沉默，有时候很奇怪让人捉摸不透，但其实他们和我们是一样的。而且，和内向的人约会也有许多好处。所以，如果你要和一个比你还沉默寡言的人交往，你应该要牢记什么呢?

　　Most people, and I was no exception, credit numerous stereotypes about introverts. Yes, they are reserved, sometimes strange and hard to understand, but they are people as well. Moreover, dating an introverted man can have many advantages. So, what should you remember when dating someone who’s more withdrawn than you? Here are 7 essential tips for dating an introvert.

　　1. Silence isn’t a sign of estrangement

　　大多数人对内向的人抱有偏见，当然我也不例外。是的，他们比较沉默，有时候很奇怪让人捉摸不透，但其实他们和我们是一样的。而且，和内向的人约会也有许多好处。所以，如果你要和一个比你还沉默寡言的人交往，你应该要牢记什么呢?下面是七条与内向的人约会时的重要建议。

　　1.沉默不表示有隔阂存在

　　A different style of communication is the most striking and significant thing about dating an introverted man. When your man isn’t asking you questions or isn’t joking, most probably he’s not interested in you as a woman. With introverted men, it’s absolutely different. They talk less, but whenever they say something it’s really important to them. Introverts simply don’t waste time on silly talk.

　　和一个内向的男人约会，最显著最重要的一点就是交流的风格不一样。当你的男朋友不问你问题或者不开玩笑，那么很可能他对身为异性的你不感兴趣。但如果对内向的人来说，情况就截然不同了。他们话少，但是他们说的话对他们而言都很重要。内向的人只是不会把时间浪费在说蠢话上。

　　2. Less violent conflicts

　　2.暴力冲突减少

不怕你的另一半性格内向

　　If you’re dating an introvert, you will rarely have severe conflicts and fights. Introverts never act and speak rashly. They need a lot of time to reflect on things; therefore their responds are deliberate. Chances are you’ll forget about the argument, but your sweetheart can start talking about it in several days. When you really want to settle a conflict, adopt a patient behavior. An excessive pressure will only lead to distrust and resentment.

　　如果你和内向的人交往，你基本上不会和他们发生严重的冲突或者争吵。内向的人在言谈举止上从不鲁莽冲动。他们需要很多时间去反思事情;因此他们会做出小心谨慎的回应。你很有可能会忘记你们之间的争论，但你的心上人可能几天后又开始旧事重提。如果你真想要解决矛盾，那就耐心一点吧。压力过大只会导致彼此的不信任甚至是厌恶。

　　3. Your social life will be different

　　3.你会有一个不一样的社交生活

　　Get ready that your spouse will never be the center of attention at a party, during friend gatherings or a party with unknown people. In fact, introverts don’t lack communication skills and they aren’t anti-social; they just need less time socializing. You should also be ready to spend a great amount of time at home watching films or reading. Spontaneous and unplanned events are highly stressful and unwelcome for introverted people. You won’t go out every day, but if your leisure time is properly planned, your guy will be more confident and comfortable.

　　你得做好准备，因为无论是在朋友聚会或是陌生人参加的派对上，你的伴侣永远都不会是人们注意力的焦点。事实上，内向的人并不缺乏沟通技能，也不是反社会人士;他们只是不想要花太多的时间用来社交。你也要做好另一手准备——绝大多数时间你可能就呆在家中看电影或是读书。碰上自发或是他们事先没有计划好的事情，内向的人就会高度紧张并且产生抗拒的心理。你不会每天都出去但是如果你将空闲时间合理地安排好，你的男朋友就会感觉更加自信舒服。

　　4. Introvert can’t be converted into extrovert

　　4.内向的人无法变得外向

　　This is the most common mistake most people make when dealing with introverts. You can’t change their temperament and it’s no use struggling with their personality. Being pushy is indeed the worst strategy you can choose. You won’t stir up your partner by asking him thousand questions or telling jokes. Most probably your man will retreat to save his sanity. You shouldn’t urge your partner to do anything or embarrass him, especially in public. It’s very hard to change yourself and it’s almost impossible to change another person. Remember it.

　　这也是大多数人在和内向的人相处时最常犯的错误。你无法改变他们的性格，和他们的个性较真也是徒劳。一意孤行是最糟糕的策略。哪怕问他上千个问题或是讲笑话你也无法让他放得开。你的男朋友有可能为了不失去理智而逃避。你不应该强迫他做任何事或是让他尴尬，特别是在公共场合下。请记住：改变自己很难，而要改变另一个人几乎是不可能的。

　　5. They need more me time

　　5.他们需要更多自我空间

　　It always made me frustrated, but I couldn’t accept this aspect of our relationship. It doesn’t mean I wanted to spend every second with him, but I suffer when I feel lack of attention. Introverts need more time to recharge their strength and energy. Stillness and solitude are essential things they will always need. Thus, don’t minimize the importance of me time and try not to take it personally. If you aren’t able to adjust to this need, your relationship would be rather disastrous.

　　这一点总让我十分懊恼，恋爱关系的这方面让我无法接受。这并不意味着我想要每时每刻都和他呆一起，但是当我没有感受到足够的关注时就感觉难过。内向的人需要更多的时间来补充精力。他们总需要两样重要东西：安静和孤独。因此，不要忽略自我空间的重要性，尽量避免参杂个人感情色彩。如果你不能适应这种需要，你们的关系将会遭受重创。

　　6. Honesty is a huge plus of being an introvert

　　6.诚实是内向人士的一大亮点

　　A great advantage of dating an introvert is that your man will always be honest with you about his feelings and thoughts. Introverts focus their attention on people they are interested in. While extroverts are often superficial and pretended, introverted people say and do exactly what they mean. Don’t be afraid that you partner is a player or that he might be cheating on you. If you’re dating an introvert, you can be sure you’re the only one in his life. Moreover, introverts tend to stay in long-lasting relationships since they’re very picky when choosing a girlfriend.

　　和内向的人约会有一个最大的好处，那就是他总是会诚实地表明他的感受和想法。内向人士会关注他们感兴趣的人。外向的人经常表现得肤浅和做作，而内向人士通常言行一致。不要担心你的另一半是个花花公子或者劈腿。如果你和一个内向的人交往，你完全可以相信你就是他生命中的唯一。另外，内向的人的恋爱关系会维持得更久，因为他们选择女友的标准非常苛刻。

　　7. You should show tolerance and indulgence

　　7.你要学会宽容并迁就对方

　　Sometimes it’s awfully hard to accept his strangeness and those special needs. It feels difficult to get along with an introvert when you have totally different desires. You want to go to a party, while he tends to stay at home. Or, you’re overflowed with emotions and your partner just can’t take it. An introvert will never belong to you 100 percent. Introverts seem moody at times because they are utterly introspective and sensitive to their feelings. You should give them a lot of time to process. Remember that a compromise is a pledge of any healthy and long-lasting relationship. Try to understand that your introverted man also makes efforts to handle your relationship, even if you don’t notice that.

　　有时候他的一些古怪而特殊的需求让你难以接受。当你们的需求截然不同时，你会感觉很难和内向的人相处。你想要去参加晚会但他更愿意待在家。或者你情绪高涨而你的另一半却无动于衷。内向的人绝不会完完全全属于你。有时他们看上去有点忧郁，那是因为他们处于内省的情绪敏感状态。你应该给他们大量的时间去整理情绪。记住妥协是使恋爱关系健康且持久的保证。试着理解你那个内向的他，虽然你并未察觉到,他也在努力经营你们的感情。

　　It’s up to you to make your extrovert-introvert relationship comfortable and satisfying. Like any other relationships, it requires great work, common efforts and compromise. Just a little understanding and sacrifice will help your relationship flourish and work out. Remember that love is about accepting but not changing a person.

　　在这段你外向而他内向的恋爱中，是否让它变得舒服且令人满意取决于你。和其它恋爱关系一样，这需要很多精力，共同的努力和妥协。只要彼此多一点理解，多作一点牺牲，就有利于维持你们的关系，达到预期的效果。记住：爱是接纳一个人，而非改变一个人。

　　相关阅读：关于内向的人们的10个误会

　　Misconception #1: Introverts are shy.

　　误区1：内向的人都很害羞

　　Being “shy” and “introverted” are two completely different things. Introverts are not necessarily shy or afraid of people. They just don’t prefer talking for the sake of talking.

　　害羞和内向完全是两个不同的概念。内向的人不一定害羞或是害怕与人打交道。他们只是不喜欢为了说话而说话罢了。

　　Misconception #2: Introverts are unemotional.

　　误区2：内向的人缺乏感情

　　Introverts may not show emotion with their facial expressions and gestures, but this doesn’t mean they’re not interested in what you’re saying. Introverts prefer to control their emotions around others and internalize them. Although someone who’s introverted may not appear engaged, this is usually not the case.

　　内向的人也许不会靠面部表情或手势来表达自己的情感，但这不意味着他们对你所说的话不感兴趣。内向的人更倾向于在人群中控制自己的情绪，闷在心里。也许外表看起来内向的人有点心不在焉，但实际也许并不是这样哦。

　　Misconception #3: Introverts don’t like working in groups.

　　误区3：内向的人不喜欢团队合作

　　Introverts often do their best work alone, so co-workers may misunderstand them and think they don’t want to partake in group work. While introverts do have a tendency to shut down in larger groups of people when they feel like their voice isn’t being heard, introverts excel in small group situations and enjoy working in these types of environments, as long as their opinion is valued.

　　内向的人往往能很好的独立完成任务，同事们就会觉得也许他们不适合团队合作，这可大错特错了。在人堆里，如果别人听不到自己的意见，那么内向的人就会表现得非常安静，在小范围人群中，他们往往会更加突出，只要想法能被肯定，他们也会非常享受这样的工作环境。

　　Misconception #4: Introverts don’t like talking.

　　误区4：内向的人不喜欢说话

　　It’s not that introverts don’t like to talk, it’s that they prefer to listen before they talk. Introverts choose their words carefully and they think small talk is a waste of time. But, they’re more than willing to engage you in a deep conversation about topics they’re passionate about.

　　不是内向的人不喜欢说话，而是他们更喜欢倾听罢了。内向的人总是斟词酌句，认为闲聊比较浪费时间。但是一旦遇到感兴趣的话题，他们会更加乐意与你深谈。

　　Misconception #5: Introverts are scared to look you in the eye.

　　误区5：内向的人不敢看你的眼睛

　　In general, introverts may not make eye contact with you as much as extroverts. This is bec ause they don’t feel the need to partake in social norms and rituals as much as extroverts, not because they’re “scared.”

　　一般说来，内向的人不会像外向的人那样和你进行过多的眼神交流。这是因为他们觉得没有必要去遵守所谓的社交规则和惯例，并不代表他们害羞。

　　Misconception #6: All introverts are poor public speakers.

　　误区6：所有内向的人都不善于演讲

　　Some introverts may not like speaking in large group settings; however, many introverts are naturally gifted speakers. And, introverts generally spend more time preparing for speeches and presentations rather than “flying by the seat of their pants.”

　　有些内向的人也许不喜欢在人多的场合发言，然而有些却真的天生就是演说家。内向的人通常会花更多的时间来准备演讲和发言，而不是“想到哪说到哪”。

　　Misconception #7: Introverts just want to be left alone.

　　误区7：内向的人喜欢一个人待着

　　While it’s true that introverts prefer to “re-charge” with some quiet time reading or reflecting, they also crave human interaction and enjoy the company of others.

　　当然，内向的人喜欢在安静地场合靠阅读或反思来再充电，他们也需要人际交往享受别人的陪伴。

　　Misconception #8: Introverts over-analyze everything.

　　误区8：内向的人什么都要分析一番

　　Introverts like to analyze situations and consider all possible scenarios before making decisions. Sometimes this can lead to “analysis paralysis,” but in general, it’s a positive trait that allows them to make tough decisions with a rational stream of thought.

　　在做决定之前，内向的人喜欢把所有可能的情况都想到，分析所有的情景。有时这反而会导致“分析无力”，但通常而言，一番理智分析之后做出艰难决定的方式是值得鼓励的。

　　Misconception #9: Introverts are high strung.

　　误区9：内向的人总是精神紧张

　　The opposite is actually true. Introverts tend to be much more even-keeled and level than extroverts. They are able to objectively view all scenarios, even during times of stress.

　　说反啦。相比外向的人而言，内向的人更容易平静下来。他们可以客观的看待所有的情况，哪怕是在重压之下。

　　Misconception #10: Introverts are underachievers.

　　误区10：内向的人都是差生

　　Bec ause we have such an affinity for the charismatic, personable, extroverted leader, some people assume that introverts are underachievers compared to extroverts. However, there are millions of successful introverted scientists, artists, physicians, writers, and philosophers . Achievement is not necessarily related to personality type.

　　我们总是会对有魅力，有个性外向的领导者所折服，所以很多人认为内向的人比不过外向的。然而，我们有无数性格内向的成功科学家、艺术家、医生、作家和哲学家。成功和性格类型其实没有多大联系。