雅思写作真题9分范文分享犯罪减少最佳办法
每次的雅思写作考试之后,必定是有一波范文的放出,不过良莠不齐,大部分是滥竽充数,本文为大家分享一篇英国雅思老师原创的范文,绝对的9分级别,赶紧来膜拜与学习吧。
雅思写作真题9分范文分享 犯罪减少最佳办法
本文为大家2018年3月3日雅思写作考题,是关于犯罪话题的,讨论教育与监狱谁能更有效地减少犯罪。是一道比较有难度的话题,不过这篇英国雅思老师的范文还是值得信赖的9分哟。
In most countries, prison is the most common solution for the problem of crime. However, the more effective solution is to provide people with better education so that they do not become criminals.To what extent do you agree or disagree.
雅思写作话题解析
很多考鸭的立场是这样的:better education 和 prison 都好都有用,因此一样有效,一团和气,不得罪任何人,那考官就要得罪你了。
以上的立场,根本就不是一个明确的立场。
此外,A和B都有效,不代表它们一样有效。一样有效,是考鸭爱走的捷径。这样确实可以减少很多思考。
我们来想想如何处理。首先,让考鸭们无法释怀的一点,prison 和 better education 都是有效的,其次,再问问你的心,到底哪个更有效?多数人会觉得是 better education 吧
参考思路
长远看来,better education 更有效;但是针对一些 better education 无法改善的人,仍然需要 prison.即prison 是 better education 的补充
主体段的展开:
1. 为什么 better education 更有效
2. better education 无法改善的人是谁
雅思写作9分范文
开头段
Opinions differ on the extent to which incarceration deals effectively with crime as opposed to improving the quality of education. My view is that there will always be a role for prisons in confining evil people, but better education is more likely to reduce crime levels.
主体段1:讨论 prison 的作用
Confining criminals to prison is likely to always be necessary at least to some extent. There are currently a large number of people in jail for serious offences like murder and, for them, preventive education would come too late. It is more important that society continue to be protected from them than to release them in the hope that they might reform by virtue of educational programmes. Another reality is the fact that some people choose to commit serious wrongdoings no matter how much education they have received. This is the case for many white-collar crimes such as fraud which often involve the elaborate schemes that only very intelligent people could devise.
1) 犯了谋杀罪等重罪的大量囚犯,靠防止犯罪的教育来改变他们,已经太迟了。保护人们不受他们的伤害,比释放他们并指望通过教育来改造他们,更重要。
2) 有些人无论接受了多少教育,都会选择犯罪。很多白领犯罪,比如诈骗,就是需要高智商的人才能设计出来的。
主体段2:讨论 better education 的作用
Nevertheless, improvements to education would, in my view, be a better means of reducing the number of people who want to commit crime in the long-term. Acquiring more useful knowledge especially when young would provide greater opportunities for entry into satisfying careers. Further education opens up new possibilities in terms of developing healthy interests and participating in worthwhile activities such as sports and hobbies. Better education would achieve improved outcomes such as a proficiency in a sport rather than just a passing interest. The more people achieve personal goals in terms of their careers or hobbies, the more people will find meaning in life and thus not be tempted to use their talents in illegal ways.
1) 获取更多有用的知识,尤其在年轻的时候,会给人带去更大的机会,进入体面的职业。
2) 中学后的深造,为人们培养健康的兴趣和参加有意义的活动,提供了新的可能性。
3) 更好的教育能带来更好的结果,比如对某项运动转瞬即逝的兴趣变成了熟练。
越多的人在职业和爱好方面达到了目标,就有越多的人找到生命的意义,因此不会被诱惑将自己的才华运用到违法的事情上。
结尾段
In conclusion, I acknowledge the place that imprisonment will have in protecting society from serious offenders who have already committed crimes. However crime levels are more likely to fall more drastically over the longer term by reason of improvement to education.
老外雅思写作话题解读For controls
1. Every society has vulnerable people – such as children, people with learning difficulties – who are not able to make good decisions about the content of visual media that they watch; they need protection from disturbing content and parents or carers are not always willing or able to protect them;每个社会都有脆弱的人,比如孩子,有学习障碍的人。他们在看过媒体提供的内容后哦,无法做出正确的决定。他们需要保护,免受这些内容的影响,而父母和其他照顾他们的人不总是乐意或者有能力去保护他们。The tolerance of violent visual media is inconsistent with the values of a society which wishes to promote altruism and kindness among citizens忍受媒体的暴力内容,和社会的价值观不符。社会希望市民发扬利他主义和善意。There is considerable anecdotal evidence that serial killers and terrorists consumed a lot of violent images before committing their crimes.有相当多的传闻表明,连环杀手和-在犯罪前看了大量的暴力画面。
让步反驳
Though it may be impossible to scientifically prove that watching violence leads to more acts of violence being committed, our common sense tells us that what we consume has an effect on our personalities and our actions over the longer term.虽然不大可能科学地论证看暴力画面会引发更多暴力行为,但是我们的常识告诉我们,我们消费(接收)的东西,经过比较长的时间后,对我们的人格和行为有影响。
老外雅思写作话题解读Against controls
1. Individual liberty – watching films per se does not directly damage other people and so everyone should be free to make their own moral judgments about what kind of media content they watch个人自由。看电影本质上不会直接让我们损害别人,所以人人都应该有自由 就他们所观看的媒体内容 做自己的道德判断。2. It is simply impracticable for governments to control the access to media content of millions or even billions of users; doing so could also require a dangerous level of state intrusion into the private lives of citizens让政府控制数以百万甚至数十亿的用户在媒体上观看什么内容,就是不可行的。这样做还会打扰市民的私人生活,这种打扰甚至会达到一个危险的程度。
老外雅思写作话题解读总结
支持:1. 暴力内容对没有判断能力的人的影响 2. 暴力的宣扬和社会价值观不符(大部分考鸭不会想到的点) 3. 暴力内容和恐怖主义相关(这种相关性不强的点,可以写,但是不能作为主要的分论点来使用,也就不能放在前面写)4. (让步反驳)虽然暴力画面和暴力行为的发生无法科学地论证,但是我们的常识判断它们是有联系的(这一点的思考展示了批判性思维,很多人会混淆“科学”和“常识”,把人人都认同的东西当做是科学,就不会做这样的区分)
反对:1. 人们有自由做自己的道德判断 2. 政府控制用户不可行(对可行性的考虑,政府相关话题可以套用)3. 政府控制用户会侵犯市民的隐私(上一点的延伸)
写好这个题目,并不是要求考鸭想到或者用到以上全部的点,但是以上大部分的点和题目的相关性都是非常高的,事宜建议采用以上的观点,虽然不必全部使用。