每天英语幽默笑话

　　每日一笑话，每天乐哈哈。下面是学习啦小编整理的每天英语幽默笑话，欢迎大家阅读。

　　英语幽默笑话一：

　　A man walks into a confession booth and says,"I have sinned."

　　"What did you do?"asks the priest.

　　"I committed a murder."

　　The priest says,"take a drink out of the holy cup and you will be forgiven."

　　有一个男人走进告解室说：“我犯罪了”。　神父 问 ：“你做了什么?”　“我犯了谋杀罪”神父说：“你喝一口圣杯的圣水，你就得饶恕。”

　　A man walks into the confession booth and says ,"I have sinned."

　　The priest asks him ,"what did you do?"

　　"I robbed six banks."

　　The priest says, "take a drink out of the holy cup and you will be forgiven."

　　有一个男人走进告解室说：“我犯罪了”。神父问他： “你做了什么?”“我抢了六家银行”神父说：“你喝一口圣杯的圣水，你就得饶恕。”

　　Another man walks into the confession booth and says ," I have sinned ."

　　" What did you do?" asks the priest,

　　"I broke the holy cup."

　　另一个男人走进告解室说：“我犯罪了”。　神父问：“你做了什么?”“我把圣杯打破了”。

　　英语幽默笑话二：《律师、宝马和胳膊》

　　一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。

　　“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说。

　　“你们律师真是物质至上，我很不舒服!”警察反驳说，“你这么关心你可恶的宝马，你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。”

　　律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”

　　A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

　　"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

　　"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

　　英语幽默笑话三：《狗住旅店》

　　一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，它很干净很有教养，你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”

　　旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，狗从没偷过毛巾，床单， 餐具，或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它，狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆，如果它为您担保，也欢迎您来。

　　A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

　　An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."