ted演讲稿最新精选2020

时间：2020-11-29 13:40:58 铭陆0由分享

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ted演讲稿1

when i was seven years old and my sister was just five years old, we were playing on top of a bunk bed. i was two years older than my sister at the time -- i mean, i'm two years older than her now -- but at the time it meant she had to do everything that i wanted to do, and i wanted to play war. so we were up on top of our bunk beds. and on one side of the bunk bed, i had put out all of my g.i. joe soldiers and weaponry. and on the other side were all my sister's my little ponies ready for a cavalry charge.

there are differing accounts of what actually happened that afternoon, but since my sister is not here with us today, let me tell you the true story -- (laughter) -- which is my sister's a little bit on the clumsy side. somehow, without any help or push from her older brother at all, suddenly amy disappeared off of the top of the bunk bed and landed with this crash on the floor. now i nervously peered over the side of the bed to see what had befallen my fallen sister and saw that she had landed painfully on her hands and knees on all fours on the ground.

i was nervous because my parents had charged me with making sure that my sister and i played as safely and as quietly as possible. and seeing as how i had accidentally broken amy's arm just one week before ... (laughter) ... heroically pushing her out of the way of an oncoming imaginary sniper bullet, (laughter) for which i have yet to be thanked, i was trying as hard as i could -- she didn't even see it coming -- i was trying as hard as i could to be on my best behavior.

and i saw my sister's face, this wail of pain and suffering and surprise threatening to erupt from her mouth and threatening to wake my parents from the long winter's nap for which they had settled. so i did the only thing my little frantic seven year-old brain could think to do to avert this tragedy. and if you have children, you've seen this hundreds of times before. i said, "amy, amy, wait. don't cry. don't cry. did you see how you landed? no human lands on all fours like that. amy, i think this means you're a unicorn."

(laughter)

now that was cheating, because there was nothing in the world my sister would want more than not to be amy the hurt five year-old little sister, but amy the special unicorn. of course, this was an option that was open to her brain at no point in the past. and you could see how my poor, manipulated sister faced conflict, as her little brain attempted to devote resources to feeling the pain and suffering and surprise she just e_perienced, or contemplating her new-found identity as a unicorn. and the latter won out. instead of crying, instead of ceasing our play, instead of waking my parents, with all the negative consequences that would have ensued for me, instead a smile spread across her face and she scrambled right back up onto the bunk bed with all the grace of a baby unicorn ... (laughter) ... with one broken leg.

what we stumbled across at this tender age of just five and seven -- we had no idea at the time -- was something that was going be at the vanguard of a scientific revolution occurring two decades later in the way that we look at the human brain. what we had stumbled across is something called positive psychology, which is the reason that i'm here today and the reason that i wake up every morning.

when i first started talking about this research outside of academia, out with companies and schools, the very first thing they said to never do is to start your talk with a graph. the very first thing i want to do is start my talk with a graph. this graph looks boring, but this graph is the reason i get e_cited and wake up every morning. and this graph doesn't even mean anything; it's fake data. what we found is --

(laughter)

if i got this data back studying you here in the room, i would be thrilled, because there's very clearly a trend that's going on there, and that means that i can get published, which is all that really matters. the fact that there's one weird red dot that's up above the curve, there's one weirdo in the room -- i know who you are, i saw you earlier -- that's no problem. that's no problem, as most of you know, because i can just delete that dot. i can delete that dot because that's clearly a measurement error. and we know that's a measurement error because it's messing up my data.

so one of the very first things we teach people in economics and statistics and business and psychology courses is how, in a statistically valid way, do we eliminate the weirdos. how do we eliminate the outliers so we can find the line of best fit? which is fantastic if i'm trying to find out how many advil the average person should be taking -- two. but if i'm interested in potential, if i'm interested in your potential, or for happiness or productivity or energy or creativity, what we're doing is we're creating the cult of the average with science.

if i asked a question like, "how fast can a child learn how to read in a classroom?" scientists change the answer to "how fast does the average child learn how to read in that classroom?" and then we tailor the class right towards the average. now if you fall below the average on this curve, then psychologists get thrilled, because that means you're either depressed or you have a disorder, or hopefully both. we're hoping for both because our business model is, if you come into a therapy session with one problem, we want to make sure you leave knowing you have 10, so you keep coming back over and over again. we'll go back into your childhood if necessary, but eventually what we want to do is make you normal again. but normal is merely average.

and what i posit and what positive psychology posits is that if we study what is merely average, we will remain merely average. then instead of deleting those positive outliers, what i intentionally do is come into a population like this one and say, why? why is it that some of you are so high above the curve in terms of your intellectual ability, athletic ability, musical ability, creativity, energy levels, your resiliency in the face of challenge, your sense of humor? whatever it is, instead of deleting you, what i want to do is study you. because maybe we can glean information -- not just how to move people up to the average, but how we can move the entire average up in our companies and schools worldwide.

the reason this graph is important to me is, when i turn on the news, it seems like the majority of the information is not positive, in fact it's negative. most of it's about murder, corruption, diseases, natural disasters. and very quickly, my brain starts to think that's the accurate ratio of negative to positive in the world. what that's doing is creating something called the medical school syndrome -- which, if you know people who've been to medical school, during the first year of medical training, as you read through a list of all the symptoms and diseases that could happen, suddenly you realize you have all of them.

i have a brother in-law named bobo -- which is a whole other story. bobo married amy the unicorn. bobo called me on the phone from yale medical school, and bobo said, "shawn, i have leprosy." (laughter) which, even at yale, is e_traordinarily rare. but i had no idea how to console poor bobo because he had just gotten over an entire week of menopause.

(laughter)

see what we're finding is it's not necessarily the reality that shapes us, but the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality. and if we can change the lens, not only can we change your happiness, we can change every single educational and business outcome at the same time.

when i applied to harvard, i applied on a dare. i didn't e_pect to get in, and my family had no money for college. when i got a military scholarship two weeks later, they allowed me to go. suddenly, something that wasn't even a possibility became a reality. when i went there, i assumed everyone else would see it as a privilege as well, that they'd be e_cited to be there. even if you're in a classroom full of people smarter than you, you'd be happy just to be in that classroom, which is what i felt. but what i found there is, while some people e_perience that, when i graduated after my four years and then spent the ne_t eight years living in the dorms with the students -- harvard asked me to; i wasn't that guy. (laughter) i was an officer of harvard to counsel students through the difficult four years. and what i found in my research and my teaching is that these students, no matter how happy they were with their original success of getting into the school, two weeks later their brains were focused, not on the privilege of being there, nor on their philosophy or their physics. their brain was focused on the competition, the workload, the hassles, the stresses, the complaints.

when i first went in there, i walked into the freshmen dining hall, which is where my friends from waco, te_as, which is where i grew up -- i know some of you have heard of it. when they'd come to visit me, they'd look around, they'd say, "this freshman dining hall looks like something out of hogwart's from the movie "harry potter," which it does. this is hogwart's from the movie "harry potter" and that's harvard. and when they see this, they say, "shawn, why do you waste your time studying happiness at harvard? seriously, what does a harvard student possibly have to be unhappy about?"

embedded within that question is the key to understanding the science of happiness. because what that question assumes is that our e_ternal world is predictive of our happiness levels, when in reality, if i know everything about your e_ternal world, i can only predict 10 percent of your long-term happiness. 90 percent of your long-term happiness is predicted not by the e_ternal world, but by the way your brain processes the world. and if we change it, if we change our formula for happiness and success, what we can do is change the way that we can then affect reality. what we found is that only 25 percent of job successes are predicted by i.q. 75 percent of job successes are predicted by your optimism levels, your social support and your ability to see stress as a challenge instead of as a threat.

i talked to a boarding school up in new england, probably the most prestigious boarding school, and they said, "we already know that. so every year, instead of just teaching our students, we also have a wellness week. and we're so e_cited. monday night we have the world's leading e_pert coming in to speak about adolescent depression. tuesday night it's school violence and bullying. wednesday night is eating disorders. thursday night is elicit drug use. and friday night we're trying to decide between risky se_ or happiness." (laughter) i said, "that's most people's friday nights." (laughter) (applause) which i'm glad you liked, but they did not like that at all. silence on the phone. and into the silence, i said, "i'd be happy to speak at your school, but just so you know, that's not a wellness week, that's a sickness week. what you've done is you've outlined all the negative things that can happen, but not talked about the positive."

the absence of disease is not health. here's how we get to health: we need to reverse the formula for happiness and success. in the last three years, i've traveled to 45 different countries, working with schools and companies in the midst of an economic downturn. and what i found is that most companies and schools follow a formula for success, which is this: if i work harder, i'll be more successful. and if i'm more successful, then i'll be happier. that undergirds most of our parenting styles, our managing styles, the way that we motivate our behavior.

and the problem is it's scientifically broken and backwards for two reasons. first, every time your brain has a success, you just changed the goalpost of what success looked like. you got good grades, now you have to get better grades, you got into a good school and after you get into a better school, you got a good job, now you have to get a better job, you hit your sales target, we're going to change your sales target. and if happiness is on the opposite side of success, your brain never gets there. what we've done is we've pushed happiness over the cognitive horizon as a society. and that's because we think we have to be successful, then we'll be happier.

but the real problem is our brains work in the opposite order. if you can raise somebody's level of positivity in the present, then their brain e_periences what we now call a happiness advantage, which is your brain at positive performs significantly better than it does at negative, neutral or stressed. your intelligence rises, your creativity rises, your energy levels rise. in fact, what we've found is that every single business outcome improves. your brain at positive is 31 percent more productive than your brain at negative, neutral or stressed. you're 37 percent better at sales. doctors are 19 percent faster, more accurate at coming up with the correct diagnosis when positive instead of negative, neutral or stressed. which means we can reverse the formula. if we can find a way of becoming positive in the present, then our brains work even more successfully as we're able to work harder, faster and more intelligently.

what we need to be able to do is to reverse this formula so we can start to see what our brains are actually capable of. because dopamine, which floods into your system when you're positive, has two functions. not only does it make you happier, it turns on all of the learning centers in your brain allowing you to adapt to the world in a different way.

we've found that there are ways that you can train your brain to be able to become more positive. in just a two-minute span of time done for 21 days in a row, we can actually rewire your brain, allowing your brain to actually work more optimistically and more successfully. we've done these things in research now in every single company that i've worked with, getting them to write down three new things that they're grateful for for 21 days in a row, three new things each day. and at the end of that, their brain starts to retain a pattern of scanning the world, not for the negative, but for the positive first.

journaling about one positive e_perience you've had over the past 24 hours allows your brain to relive it. e_ercise teaches your brain that your behavior matters. we find that meditation allows your brain to get over the cultural adhd that we've been creating by trying to do multiple tasks at once and allows our brains to focus on the task at hand. and finally, random acts of kindness are conscious acts of kindness. we get people, when they open up their inbo_, to write one positive email praising or thanking somebody in their social support network.

and by doing these activities and by training your brain just like we train our bodies, what we've found is we can reverse the formula for happiness and success, and in doing so, not only create ripples of positivity, but create a real revolution.

thank you very much.

(applause)

ted演讲稿2

when i was nine years old i went off to summer camp for the first time. and my mother packed me a suitcase full of books, which to me seemed like a perfectly natural thing to do. because in my family, reading was the primary group activity. and this might sound antisocial to you, but for us it was really just a different way of being social. you have the animal warmth of your family sitting right ne_t to you, but you are also free to go roaming around the adventureland inside your own mind. and i had this idea that camp was going to be just like this, but better. (laughter) i had a vision of 10 girls sitting in a cabin cozily reading books in their matching nightgowns.

(laughter)

camp was more like a keg party without any alcohol. and on the very first day our counselor gathered us all together and she taught us a cheer that she said we would be doing every day for the rest of the summer to instill camp spirit. and it went like this: "r-o-w-d-i-e, that's the way we spell rowdie. rowdie, rowdie, let's get rowdie." yeah. so i couldn't figure out for the life of me why we were supposed to be so rowdy, or why we had to spell this word incorrectly. (laughter) but i recited a cheer. i recited a cheer along with everybody else. i did my best. and i just waited for the time that i could go off and read my books.

but the first time that i took my book out of my suitcase, the coolest girl in the bunk came up to me and she asked me, "why are you being so mellow?" -- mellow, of course, being the e_act opposite of r-o-w-d-i-e. and then the second time i tried it, the counselor came up to me with a concerned e_pression on her face and she repeated the point about camp spirit and said we should all work very hard to be outgoing.

and so i put my books away, back in their suitcase, and i put them under my bed, and there they stayed for the rest of the summer. and i felt kind of guilty about this. i felt as if the books needed me somehow, and they were calling out to me and i was forsaking them. but i did forsake them and i didn't open that suitcase again until i was back home with my family at the end of the summer.

now, i tell you this story about summer camp. i could have told you 50 others just like it -- all the times that i got the message that somehow my quiet and introverted style of being was not necessarily the right way to go, that i should be trying to pass as more of an e_trovert. and i always sensed deep down that this was wrong and that introverts were pretty e_cellent just as they were. but for years i denied this intuition, and so i became a wall street lawyer, of all things, instead of the writer that i had always longed to be -- partly because i needed to prove to myself that i could be bold and assertive too. and i was always going off to crowded bars when i really would have preferred to just have a nice dinner with friends. and i made these self-negating choices so refle_ively, that i wasn't even aware that i was making them.

now this is what many introverts do, and it's our loss for sure, but it is also our colleagues' loss and our communities' loss. and at the risk of sounding grandiose, it is the world's loss. because when it comes to creativity and to leadership, we need introverts doing what they do best. a third to a half of the population are introverts -- a third to a half. so that's one out of every two or three people you know. so even if you're an e_trovert yourself, i'm talking about your coworkers and your spouses and your children and the person sitting ne_t to you right now -- all of them subject to this bias that is pretty deep and real in our society. we all internalize it from a very early age without even having a language for what we're doing.

now to see the bias clearly you need to understand what introversion is. it's different from being shy. shyness is about fear of social judgment. introversion is more about, how do you respond to stimulation, including social stimulation. so e_troverts really crave large amounts of stimulation, whereas introverts feel at their most alive and their most switched-on and their most capable when they're in quieter, more low-key environments. not all the time -- these things aren't absolute -- but a lot of the time. so the key then to ma_imizing our talents is for us all to put ourselves in the zone of stimulation that is right for us.

but now here's where the bias comes in. our most important institutions, our schools and our workplaces, they are designed mostly for e_troverts and for e_troverts' need for lots of stimulation. and also we have this belief system right now that i call the new groupthink, which holds that all creativity and all productivity comes from a very oddly gregarious place.

so if you picture the typical classroom nowadays: when i was going to school, we sat in rows. we sat in rows of desks like this, and we did most of our work pretty autonomously. but nowadays, your typical classroom has pods of desks -- four or five or si_ or seven kids all facing each other. and kids are working in countless group assignments. even in subjects like math and creative writing, which you think would depend on solo flights of thought, kids are now e_pected to act as committee members. and for the kids who prefer to go off by themselves or just to work alone, those kids are seen as outliers often or, worse, as problem cases. and the vast majority of teachers reports believing that the ideal student is an e_trovert as opposed to an introvert, even though introverts actually get better grades and are more knowledgeable, according to research. (laughter)

okay, same thing is true in our workplaces. now, most of us work in open plan offices, without walls, where we are subject to the constant noise and gaze of our coworkers. and when it comes to leadership, introverts are routinely passed over for leadership positions, even though introverts tend to be very careful, much less likely to take outsize risks -- which is something we might all favor nowadays. and interesting research by adam grant at the wharton school has found that introverted leaders often deliver better outcomes than e_troverts do, because when they are managing proactive employees, they're much more likely to let those employees run with their ideas, whereas an e_trovert can, quite unwittingly, get so e_cited about things that they're putting their own stamp on things, and other people's ideas might not as easily then bubble up to the surface.

now in fact, some of our transformative leaders in history have been introverts. i'll give you some e_amples. eleanor roosevelt, rosa parks, gandhi -- all these peopled described themselves as quiet and soft-spoken and even shy. and they all took the spotlight, even though every bone in their bodies was telling them not to. and this turns out to have a special power all its own, because people could feel that these leaders were at the helm, not because they enjoyed directing others and not out of the pleasure of being looked at; they were there because they had no choice, because they were driven to do what they thought was right.

now i think at this point it's important for me to say that i actually love e_troverts. i always like to say some of my best friends are e_troverts, including my beloved husband. and we all fall at different points, of course, along the introvert/e_trovert spectrum. even carl jung, the psychologist who first popularized these terms, said that there's no such thing as a pure introvert or a pure e_trovert. he said that such a man would be in a lunatic asylum, if he e_isted at all. and some people fall smack in the middle of the introvert/e_trovert spectrum, and we call these people ambiverts. and i often think that they have the best of all worlds. but many of us do recognize ourselves as one type or the other.

and what i'm saying is that culturally we need a much better balance. we need more of a yin and yang between these two types. this is especially important when it comes to creativity and to productivity, because when psychologists look at the lives of the most creative people, what they find are people who are very good at e_changing ideas and advancing ideas, but who also have a serious streak of introversion in them.

and this is because solitude is a crucial ingredient often to creativity. so darwin, he took long walks alone in the woods and emphatically turned down dinner party invitations. theodor geisel, better known as dr. seuss, he dreamed up many of his amazing creations in a lonely bell tower office that he had in the back of his house in la jolla, california. and he was actually afraid to meet the young children who read his books for fear that they were e_pecting him this kind of jolly santa claus-like figure and would be disappointed with his more reserved persona. steve wozniak invented the first apple computer sitting alone in his cubical in hewlett-packard where he was working at the time. and he says that he never would have become such an e_pert in the first place had he not been too introverted to leave the house when he was growing up.

now of course, this does not mean that we should all stop collaborating -- and case in point, is steve wozniak famously coming together with steve jobs to start apple computer -- but it does mean that solitude matters and that for some people it is the air that they breathe. and in fact, we have known for centuries about the transcendent power of solitude. it's only recently that we've strangely begun to forget it. if you look at most of the world's major religions, you will find seekers -- moses, jesus, buddha, muhammad -- seekers who are going off by themselves alone to the wilderness where they then have profound epiphanies and revelations that they then bring back to the rest of the community. so no wilderness, no revelations.

this is no surprise though if you look at the insights of contemporary psychology. it turns out that we can't even be in a group of people without instinctively mirroring, mimicking their opinions. even about seemingly personal and visceral things like who you're attracted to, you will start aping the beliefs of the people around you without even realizing that that's what you're doing.

and groups famously follow the opinions of the most dominant or charismatic person in the room, even though there's zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas -- i mean zero. so ... (laughter) you might be following the person with the best ideas, but you might not. and do you really want to leave it up to chance? much better for everybody to go off by themselves, generate their own ideas freed from the distortions of group dynamics, and then come together as a team to talk them through in a well-managed environment and take it from there.

now if all this is true, then why are we getting it so wrong? why are we setting up our schools this way and our workplaces? and why are we making these introverts feel so guilty about wanting to just go off by themselves some of the time? one answer lies deep in our cultural history. western societies, and in particular the u.s., have always favored the man of action over the man of contemplation and "man" of contemplation. but in america's early days, we lived in what historians call a culture of character, where we still, at that point, valued people for their inner selves and their moral rectitude. and if you look at the self-help books from this era, they all had titles with things like "character, the grandest thing in the world." and they featured role models like abraham lincoln who was praised for being modest and unassuming. ralph waldo emerson called him "a man who does not offend by superiority."

but then we hit the 20th century and we entered a new culture that historians call the culture of personality. what happened is we had evolved an agricultural economy to a world of big business. and so suddenly people are moving from small towns to the cities. and instead of working alongside people they've known all their lives, now they are having to prove themselves in a crowd of strangers. so, quite understandably, qualities like magnetism and charisma suddenly come to seem really important. and sure enough, the self-help books change to meet these new needs and they start to have names like "how to win friends and influence people." and they feature as their role models really great salesmen. so that's the world we're living in today. that's our cultural inheritance.

now none of this is to say that social skills are unimportant, and i'm also not calling for the abolishing of teamwork at all. the same religions who send their sages off to lonely mountain tops also teach us love and trust. and the problems that we are facing today in fields like science and in economics are so vast and so comple_ that we are going to need armies of people coming together to solve them working together. but i am saying that the more freedom that we give introverts to be themselves, the more likely that they are to come up with their own unique solutions to these problems.

so now i'd like to share with you what's in my suitcase today. guess what? books. i have a suitcase full of books. here's margaret atwood, "cat's eye." here's a novel by milan kundera. and here's "the guide for the perple_ed" by maimonides. but these are not e_actly my books. i brought these books with me because they were written by my grandfather's favorite authors.

my grandfather was a rabbi and he was a widower who lived alone in a small apartment in brooklyn that was my favorite place in the world when i was growing up, partly because it was filled with his very gentle, very courtly presence and partly because it was filled with books. i mean literally every table, every chair in this apartment had yielded its original function to now serve as a surface for swaying stacks of books. just like the rest of my family, my grandfather's favorite thing to do in the whole world was to read.

but he also loved his congregation, and you could feel this love in the sermons that he gave every week for the 62 years that he was a rabbi. he would takes the fruits of each week's reading and he would weave these intricate tapestries of ancient and humanist thought. and people would come from all over to hear him speak.

but here's the thing about my grandfather. underneath this ceremonial role, he was really modest and really introverted -- so much so that when he delivered these sermons, he had trouble making eye contact with the very same congregation that he had been speaking to for 62 years. and even away from the podium, when you called him to say hello, he would often end the conversation prematurely for fear that he was taking up too much of your time. but when he died at the age of 94, the police had to close down the streets of his neighborhood to accommodate the crowd of people who came out to mourn him. and so these days i try to learn from my grandfather's e_ample in my own way.

so i just published a book about introversion, and it took me about seven years to write. and for me, that seven years was like total bliss, because i was reading, i was writing, i was thinking, i was researching. it was my version of my grandfather's hours of the day alone in his library. but now all of a sudden my job is very different, and my job is to be out here talking about it, talking about introversion. (laughter) and that's a lot harder for me, because as honored as i am to be here with all of you right now, this is not my natural milieu.

so i prepared for moments like these as best i could. i spent the last year practicing public speaking every chance i could get. and i call this my "year of speaking dangerously." (laughter) and that actually helped a lot. but i'll tell you, what helps even more is my sense, my belief, my hope that when it comes to our attitudes to introversion and to quiet and to solitude, we truly are poised on the brink on dramatic change. i mean, we are. and so i am going to leave you now with three calls for action for those who share this vision.

number one: stop the madness for constant group work. just stop it. (laughter) thank you. (applause) and i want to be clear about what i'm saying, because i deeply believe our offices should be encouraging casual, chatty cafe-style types of interactions -- you know, the kind where people come together and serendipitously have an e_change of ideas. that is great. it's great for introverts and it's great for e_troverts. but we need much more privacy and much more freedom and much more autonomy at work. school, same thing. we need to be teaching kids to work together, for sure, but we also need to be teaching them how to work on their own. this is especially important for e_troverted children too. they need to work on their own because that is where deep thought comes from in part.

okay, number two: go to the wilderness. be like buddha, have your own revelations. i'm not saying that we all have to now go off and build our own cabins in the woods and never talk to each other again, but i am saying that we could all stand to unplug and get inside our own heads a little more often.

number three: take a good look at what's inside your own suitcase and why you put it there. so e_troverts, maybe your suitcases are also full of books. or maybe they're full of champagne glasses or skydiving equipment. whatever it is, i hope you take these things out every chance you get and grace us with your energy and your joy. but introverts, you being you, you probably have the impulse to guard very carefully what's inside your own suitcase. and that's okay. but occasionally, just occasionally, i hope you will open up your suitcases for other people to see, because the world needs you and it needs the things you carry.

so i wish you the best of all possible journeys and the courage to speak softly.

thank you very much.

(applause)

thank you. thank you.

ted演讲稿3

当我九岁的时候我第一次去参加夏令营我妈妈帮我整理好了我的行李箱里面塞满了书这对于我来说是一件极为自然的事情因为在我的家庭里阅读是主要的家庭活动听上去你们可能觉得我们是不爱交际的但是对于我的家庭来说这真的只是接触社会的另一种途径你们有自己家庭接触时的温暖亲情家人静坐在你身边但是你也可以自由地漫游在你思维深处的冒险乐园里我有一个想法野营会变得像这样子，当然要更好些 (笑声) 我想象到十个女孩坐在一个小屋里都穿着合身的女式睡衣惬意地享受着读书的过程

(laughter)

(笑声)

野营这时更像是一个不提供酒水的派对聚会在第一天的时候呢我们的顾问把我们都集合在一起并且她教会了我们一种今后要用到的庆祝方式在余下夏令营的每一天中让“露营精神”浸润我们之后它就像这样继续着 r-o-w-d-i-e 这是我们拼写“吵闹"的口号我们唱着“噪音，喧闹，我们要变得吵一点” 对，就是这样可我就是弄不明白我的生活会是什么样的为什么我们变得这么吵闹粗暴或者为什么我们非要把这个单词错误地拼写 (笑声) 但是我可没有忘记庆祝。我与每个人都互相欢呼庆祝了我尽了我最大的努力我只是想等待那一刻我可以离开吵闹的聚会去捧起我挚爱的书

但是当我第一次把书从行李箱中拿出来的时候床铺中最酷的那个女孩向我走了过来并且她问我：“为什么你要这么安静?” 安静，当然，是r-o-w-d-i-e的反义词 “喧闹”的反义词而当我第二次拿书的时候我们的顾问满脸忧虑的向我走了过来接着她重复了关于“露营精神”的要点并且说我们都应当努力去变得外向些

and so i put my books away, back in their suitcase, and i put them under my bed, and there they stayed for the rest of the summer. and i felt kind of guilty about this. i felt as if the books needed me somehow, and they were calling out to me and i was forsaking them.but i did forsake them and i didn't open that suitcase again until i was back home with my family at the end of the summer.

于是我放好我的书放回了属于它们的行李箱中并且我把它们放到了床底下在那里它们度过了暑假余下的每一天我对这样做感到很愧疚不知为什么我感觉这些书是需要我的它们在呼唤我，但是我却放弃了它们我确实放下了它们，并且我再也没有打开那个箱子直到我和我的家人一起回到家中在夏末的时候

now, i tell you this story about summer camp. i could have told you 50 others just like it --all the times that i got the message that somehow my quiet and introverted style of beingwas not necessarily the right way to go, that i should be trying to pass as more of an e_trovert. and i always sensed deep down that this was wrong and that introverts were pretty e_cellent just as they were. but for years i denied this intuition, and so i became a wall street lawyer, of all things, instead of the writer that i had always longed to be -- partly because i needed to prove to myself that i could be bold and assertive too. and i was always going off to crowded bars when i really would have preferred to just have a nice dinner with friends. and i made these self-negating choices so refle_ively, that i wasn't even aware that i was making them.

现在，我向你们讲述这个夏令营的故事我完全可以给你们讲出其他50种版本就像这个一样的故事-- 每当我感觉到这样的时候它告诉我出于某种原因，我的宁静和内向的风格并不是正确道路上的必需品我应该更多地尝试一个外向者的角色而在我内心深处感觉得到，这是错误的内向的人们都是非常优秀的，确实是这样但是许多年来我都否认了这种直觉于是我首先成为了华尔街的一名律师而不是我长久以来想要成为的一名作家一部分原因是因为我想要证明自己也可以变得勇敢而坚定并且我总是去那些拥挤的酒吧当我只是想要和朋友们吃一顿愉快的晚餐时我做出了这些自我否认的抉择如条件反射一般甚至我都不清楚我做出了这些决定

now this is what many introverts do, and it's our loss for sure, but it is also our colleagues' loss and our communities' loss. and at the risk of sounding grandiose, it is the world's loss. because when it comes to creativity and to leadership, we need introverts doing what they do best. a third to a half of the population are introverts -- a third to a half. so that's one out of every two or three people you know. so even if you're an e_trovert yourself, i'm talking about your coworkers and your spouses and your childrenand the person sitting ne_t to you right now -- all of them subject to this bias that is pretty deep and real in our society. we all internalize it from a very early age without even having a language for what we're doing.

这就是很多内向的人正在做的事情这当然是我们的损失但这同样也是同事们的损失我们所在团队集体的损失当然，冒着被指为夸大其词的风险我想说，更是世界的损失因为当涉及创造和领导的时候我们需要内向的人做到最好三分之一到二分之一的人都是内向的-- 三分之一到二分之一你要知道这可意味着每两到三个人中就有一个内向的所以即使你自己是一个外向的人我正在说你的同事和你的配偶和你的孩子还有现在正坐在你旁边的那个家伙-- 他们都要屈从于这样的偏见一种在我们的社会中已经扎根的现实偏见我们从很小的时候就把它藏在内心最深处甚至都不说几句话，关于我们正在做的事情。

now to see the bias clearly you need to understand what introversion is. it's different from being shy. shyness is about fear of social judgment. introversion is more about, how do you respond to stimulation, including social stimulation. so e_troverts really crave large amounts of stimulation, whereas introverts feel at their most alive and their most switched-on and their most capable when they're in quieter, more low-key environments.not all the time -- these things aren't absolute -- but a lot of the time. so the key then to ma_imizing our talents is for us all to put ourselves in the zone of stimulation that is right for us.

现在让我们来清楚地看待这种偏见我们需要真正了解“内向”到底指什么它和害羞是不同的害羞是对于社会评论的恐惧内向更多的是你怎样对于刺激作出回应包括来自社会的刺激其实内向的人是很渴求大量的鼓舞和激励的反之内向者最感觉到他们的存在这是他们精力最充足的时候，最具有能力的时候当他们存在于更安静的，更低调的环境中并不是所有时候--这些事情都不是绝对的-- 但是存在于很多时候所以说，关键在于把我们的天赋发挥到最大化这对于我们来说就足够把我们自己放到对于我们正确又合适的激励的区域中去

but now here's where the bias comes in. our most important institutions, our schools and our workplaces, they are designed mostly for e_troverts and for e_troverts' need for lots of stimulation. and also we have this belief system right now that i call the new groupthink,which holds that all creativity and all productivity comes from a very oddly gregarious place.

但是现在偏见出现了我们最重要的那些体系我们的学校和工作单位它们都是为性格外向者设计的并且有适合他们需要的刺激和鼓励当然我们现在也有这样一种信用机制我称它为新型的“团队思考” 这是一种包含所有创造力和生产力的思考方式从一个社交非常零散的地方产生的

so if you picture the typical classroom nowadays: when i was going to school, we sat in rows. we sat in rows of desks like this, and we did most of our work pretty autonomously.but nowadays, your typical classroom has pods of desks -- four or five or si_ or seven kids all facing each other. and kids are working in countless group assignments. even in subjects like math and creative writing, which you think would depend on solo flights of thought, kids are now e_pected to act as committee members. and for the kids who preferto go off by themselves or just to work alone, those kids are seen as outliers often or, worse, as problem cases. and the vast majority of teachers reports believing that the ideal student is an e_trovert as opposed to an introvert, even though introverts actually get better grades and are more knowledgeable, according to research. (laughter)

当你描绘今天典型教室的图案时当我还上学的时候我们一排排地坐着我们靠着桌子一排排坐着就像这样并且我们大多数工作都是自觉完成的但是在现代社会，所谓典型的教室是些圈起来并排的桌子-- 四个或是五个或是六、七个孩子坐在一起，面对面孩子们要完成无数个小组任务甚至像数学和创意写作这些课程这些你们认为需要依靠个人闪光想法的课程孩子们现在却被期待成为小组会的成员对于那些喜欢独处，或者自己一个人工作的孩子来说这些孩子常常被视为局外人或者更糟，被视为问题孩子并且很大一部分老师的报告中都相信最理想的学生应该是外向的相对于内向的学生而言甚至说外向的学生能够取得更好的成绩更加博学多识据研究报道 (笑声)

okay, same thing is true in our workplaces. now, most of us work in open plan offices,without walls, where we are subject to the constant noise and gaze of our coworkers. and when it comes to leadership, introverts are routinely passed over for leadership positions,even though introverts tend to be very careful, much less likely to take outsize risks --which is something we might all favor nowadays. and interesting research by adam grant at the wharton school has found that introverted leaders often deliver better outcomes than e_troverts do, because when they are managing proactive employees, they're much more likely to let those employees run with their ideas, whereas an e_trovert can, quite unwittingly, get so e_cited about things that they're putting their own stamp on things, and other people's ideas might not as easily then bubble up to the surface.

好了。同样的事情也发生在我们工作的地方现在呢，我们中的绝大多数都工作在宽阔没有隔间的办公室里甚至没有墙在这里，我们暴露在不断的噪音和我们同事的凝视目光下工作而当谈及领袖气质的时候内向的人总是按照惯例从领导的位置被忽视了尽管内向的人是非常小心仔细的很少去冒特大的风险-- 这些风险是今天我们可能都喜欢的宾夕法尼亚大学沃顿商学院的亚当·格兰特教授做了一项很有意思的研究这项研究表明内向的领导们相对于外向领导而言总是会生产更大的效益因为当他们管理主动积极的雇员的时候他们更倾向于让有主见的雇员去自由发挥反之外向的领导就可能，当然是不经意的对于事情变得十分激动他们在事务上有了自己想法的印迹这使其他人的想法可能就不会很容易地在舞台上发光了

now in fact, some of our transformative leaders in history have been introverts. i'll give you some e_amples. eleanor roosevelt, rosa parks, gandhi -- all these peopled described themselves as quiet and soft-spoken and even shy. and they all took the spotlight, even though every bone in their bodies was telling them not to. and this turns out to have a special power all its own, because people could feel that these leaders were at the helm,not because they enjoyed directing others and not out of the pleasure of being looked at;they were there because they had no choice, because they were driven to do what they thought was right.

事实上，历史上一些有改革能力的领袖都是内向的人我会举一些例子给你们埃莉诺·罗斯福，罗沙·帕克斯，甘地 -- 所有这些人都把自己描述成内向，说话温柔甚至是害羞的人他们仍然站在了聚光灯下即使他们浑身上下都感知他们说不要这证明是一种属于它自身的特殊的力量因为人们都会感觉这些领导者同时是掌舵者并不是因为他们喜欢指挥别人抑或是享受众人目光的聚焦他们处在那个位置因为他们没有选择因为他们行驶在他们认为正确的道路上

现在我觉得对于这点我有必要说那就是我真的喜爱外向的人我总是喜欢说我最好的几个朋友都是外向的人包括我亲爱的丈夫当然了我们都会在不同点时偏向内向者/外向者的范围甚至是卡尔·荣格，这个让这些名词为大众所熟知的心理学家，说道世上绝没有一个纯粹的内向的人或者一个纯粹的外向的人他说这样的人会在精神病院里如果他存在的话还有一些人处在中间的迹象在内向与外向之间我们称这些人为“中向性格者” 并且我总是认为他们拥有世界最美好的一切但是我们中的大多数总是认为自己属于内向或者外向，其中一类

同时我想说从文化意义上讲我们需要一种更好的平衡我们需要更多的阴阳的平衡在这两种类型的人之间这点是极为重要的当涉及创造力和生产力的时候因为当心理学家们看待最有创造力的人的生命的时候他们寻找到的是那些擅长变换思维的人提出想法的人但是他们同时也有着极为显著的偏内向的痕迹

and this is because solitude is a crucial ingredient often to creativity. so darwin, he took long walks alone in the woods and emphatically turned down dinner party invitations.theodor geisel, better known as dr. seuss, he dreamed up many of his amazing creations in a lonely bell tower office that he had in the back of his house in la jolla, california. and he was actually afraid to meet the young children who read his books for fear that they were e_pecting him this kind of jolly santa claus-like figure and would be disappointed with his more reserved persona. steve wozniak invented the first apple computer sitting alone in his cubical in hewlett-packard where he was working at the time. and he says that he never would have become such an e_pert in the first place had he not been too introverted to leave the house when he was growing up.

这是因为独处是非常关键的因素对于创造力来说所以达尔文自己一个人漫步在小树林里并且断然拒绝了晚餐派对的邀约西奥多·盖索，更多时候以苏索博士的名号知名他梦想过很多的惊人的创作在他在加利福尼亚州拉霍亚市房子的后面的一座孤独的束层的塔形办公室中而且其实他很害怕见面见那些读过他的书的年轻的孩子们害怕他们会期待他这样一位令人愉快的，圣诞老人形象的人物同时又会因发现他含蓄缄默的性格而失望史蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克发明了第一台苹果电脑一个人独自坐在他的机柜旁在他当时工作的惠普公司并且他说他永远不会在那方面成为一号专家但他还没因太内向到要离开那里那个他成长起来的地方

now of course, this does not mean that we should all stop collaborating -- and case in point, is steve wozniak famously coming together with steve jobs to start apple computer -- but it does mean that solitude matters and that for some people it is the air that they breathe. and in fact, we have known for centuries about the transcendent power of solitude. it's only recently that we've strangely begun to forget it. if you look at most of the world's major religions, you will find seekers -- moses, jesus, buddha, muhammad --seekers who are going off by themselves alone to the wilderness where they then have profound epiphanies and revelations that they then bring back to the rest of the community. so no wilderness, no revelations.

当然了这并不意味着我们都应该停止合作-- 恰当的例子呢，是史蒂夫·沃兹尼亚克和史蒂夫·乔布斯的著名联手创建苹果电脑公司-- 但是这并不意味着和独处有重大关系并且对于一些人来说这是他们赖以呼吸生存的空气事实上，几个世纪以来我们已经非常明白独处的卓越力量只是到了最近，非常奇怪，我们开始遗忘它了如果你看看世界上主要的宗教你会发现探寻者-- 摩西，耶稣，佛祖，穆罕默德 -- 那些独身去探寻的人们在大自然的旷野中独处，思索在那里，他们有了深刻的顿悟和对于奥义的揭示之后他们把这些思想带回到社会的其他地方去没有旷原，没有启示

尽管这并不令人惊讶如果你注意到现代心理学的思想理论它反映出来我们甚至不能和一组人待在一起而不去本能地模仿他们的意见与想法甚至是看上去私人的，发自内心的事情像是你被谁所吸引你会开始模仿你周围的人的信仰甚至都觉察不到你自己在做什么

还曾跟随群体的意见跟随着房间里最具有统治力的，最有领袖气质的人的思路虽然这真的没什么关系在成为一个卓越的演讲家还是拥有最好的主意之间-- 我的意思是“零相关” 那么...(笑声) 你们或许会跟随有最好头脑的人但是你们也许不会可你们真的想把这机会扔掉吗?如果每个人都自己行动或许好得多发掘他们自己的想法没有群体动力学的曲解接着来到一起组成一个团队在一个良好管理的环境中互相交流并且在那里学习别的思想

如果说现在这一切都是真的那么为什么我们还得到这样错误的结论? 为什么我们要这样创立我们的学校，还有我们的工作单位? 为什么我们要让这些内向的人觉得那么愧疚。对于他们只是想要离开，一个人独处一段时间的事实? 有一个答案在我们的文化史中埋藏已久西方社会特别是在美国总是偏爱有行动的人而不是有深刻思考的人有深刻思考的“人” 但是在美国早期的时候我们生活在一个被历史学家称作“性格特征”的文化那时我们仍然，在这点上，判断人们的价值从人们的内涵和道义正直而且如果你看一看这个时代关于自立的书籍的话它们都有这样一种标题： “性格”，世界上最伟大的事物并且它们以亚伯拉罕·林肯这样的为标榜一个被形容为谦虚低调的男人拉尔夫·瓦尔多·爱默生称他是 “一个以‘优越’二形容都不为过的人”

but then we hit the 20th century and we entered a new culture that historians call the culture of personality. what happened is we had evolved an agricultural economy to a world of big business. and so suddenly people are moving from small towns to the cities.and instead of working alongside people they've known all their lives, now they are having to prove themselves in a crowd of strangers. so, quite understandably, qualities like magnetism and charisma suddenly come to seem really important. and sure enough, the self-help books change to meet these new needs and they start to have names like "how to win friends and influence people." and they feature as their role models really great salesmen. so that's the world we're living in today. that's our cultural inheritance.

但是接着我们来到了二十世纪并且我们融入了一种新的文化一种被历史学家称作“个性”的文化所发生的改变就是我们从农业经济发展为一个大商业经济的世界而且人们突然开始搬迁从小的城镇搬向城市并且一改他们之前的在生活中和所熟识的人们一起工作的方式现在他们在一群陌生人中间有必要去证明自己这样做是非常可以理解的像领袖气质和个人魅力这样的品质突然间似乎变得极为重要那么可以肯定的是，自助自立的书的内容变更了以适应这些新的需求并且它们开始拥有名称像是《如何赢得朋友和影响他人》(戴尔?卡耐基所著《人性的弱点》) 他们的特点是做自己的榜样不得不说确实是好的推销员所以这就是我们今天生活的世界这是我们的文化遗产

现在没有谁能够说社交技能是不重要的并且我也不是想呼吁大家废除团队合作模式但仍是相同的宗教，却把他们的圣人送到了孤独的山顶上仍然教导我们爱与信任还有我们今天所要面对的问题像是在科学和经济领域是如此的巨大和复杂以至于我们需要人们强有力地团结起来共同解决这些问题但是我想说，越给内向者自由让他们做自己他们就做得越好去想出他们独特的关于问题的解决办法

所以现在我很高兴同你们分享我手提箱中的东西猜猜是什么? 书我有一个手提箱里面装满了书这是玛格丽特·阿特伍德的《猫的眼睛》这是一本米兰·昆德拉的书这是一本《迷途指津》是迈蒙尼德写的但这些实际上都不是我的书我还是带着它们，陪伴着我因为它们都是我祖父最喜爱的作家所写

我的祖父是一名犹太教祭司他独身一人在布鲁克林的一间小公寓中居住那里是我从小到大在这个世界上最喜爱的地方部分原因是他有着非常温和亲切的，温文尔雅的举止部分原因是那里充满了书我的意思是，毫不夸张地说，公寓中的每张桌子，每张椅子都充分应用着它原有的功能就是现在作为承载一大堆都在摇曳的书的表面就像我其他的家庭成员一样我祖父在这个世界上最喜欢做的事情就是阅读

但是他同样也热爱他的宗教并且你们可以从他的讲述中感觉到他这种爱这62年来每周他都作为一名犹太教的祭司他会从每周的阅读中汲取养分并且他会编织这些错综复杂的古代和人文主义的思想的挂毯并且人们会从各个地方前来听他的讲话

但是有这么一件关于我祖父的事情在这个正式的角色下隐藏着他是一个非常谦虚的非常内向的人是那么的谦虚内向以至于当他在向人们讲述的时候他都不敢有视线上的接触和同样的教堂会众他已经发言有62年了甚至都还远离领奖台当你们让他说“你好”的时候他总会提早结束这对话担心他会占用你太多的时间但是当他94岁去世的时候警察们需要封锁他所居住的街道邻里来容纳拥挤的人们前来哀悼他的人们这些天来我都试着从我祖父的事例中学习以我自己的方式

so i just published a book about introversion, and it took me about seven years to write.and for me, that seven years was like total bliss, because i was reading, i was writing, i was thinking, i was researching. it was my version of my grandfather's hours of the day alone in his library. but now all of a sudden my job is very different, and my job is to be out here talking about it, talking about introversion. (laughter) and that's a lot harder for me,because as honored as i am to be here with all of you right now, this is not my natural milieu.

所以我就出版了一本关于内向性格的书它花了我7年的时间完成它而对我来说，这七年像是一种极大的喜悦因为我在阅读，我在写作我在思考，我在探寻这是我的版本对于爷爷一天中几个小时都要独自待在图书馆这件事但是现在突然间我的工作变得很不同了我的工作变成了站在这里讲述它讲述内向的性格 (笑声) 而且这对于我来说是有一点困难的因为我很荣幸在现在被你们所有人所倾听这可不是我自然的文化背景

所以我准备了一会就像这样以我所能做到的最好的方式我花了最近一年的时间练习在公共场合发言在我能得到的每一个机会中我把这一年称作我的“危险地发言的一年” (笑声) 而且它的确帮了我很大的忙但是我要告诉你们一个帮我更大的忙的事情那就是我的感觉，我的信仰，我的希望当谈及我们态度的时候对于内向性格的，对于安静，对于独处的态度时我们确实是在急剧变化的边缘上保持微妙的平衡我的意思是，我们在保持平衡现在我将要给你们留下一些东西三件对于你们的行动有帮助的事情献给那些观看我的演讲的人

number one: stop the madness for constant group work. just stop it. (laughter) thank you. (applause) and i want to be clear about what i'm saying, because i deeply believe our offices should be encouraging casual, chatty cafe-style types of interactions -- you know, the kind where people come together and serendipitously have an e_change of ideas.that is great. it's great for introverts and it's great for e_troverts. but we need much more privacy and much more freedom and much more autonomy at work. school, same thing.we need to be teaching kids to work together, for sure, but we also need to be teaching them how to work on their own. this is especially important for e_troverted children too.they need to work on their own because that is where deep thought comes from in part.

第一：停止对于经常要团队协作的执迷与疯狂停止它就好了 (笑声) 谢谢你们 (掌声) 我想让我所说的事情变得清晰一些因为我对于我们的办公深信不疑应该鼓励它们那种休闲随意的，聊天似的咖啡厅式的相互作用-- 你们知道的，道不同不相为谋，人们聚到一起并且互相交换着宝贵的意见这是很棒的这对于内向者很好，同样对于外向者也好但是我们需要更多的隐私和更多的自由还有更多对于我们本身工作的自主权对于学校，也是同样的。我们当然需要教会孩子们要一起学习工作但是我们同样需要教会孩子们怎么样独立完成任务这对于外向的孩子们来说同样是极为重要的他们需要独立完成工作因为从某种程度上，这是他们深刻思考的来源

好了，第二个：去到野外(打开思维) 就像佛祖一样，拥有你们自己对于事物的揭示启迪我并不是说我们都要跑去小树林里建造我们自己的小屋并且之后就永远不和别人说话了但是我要说我们都可以坚持去去除一些障碍物然后深入我们自己的大脑思想时不时得再深入一点

第三点：好好看一眼你的旅行箱内有什么东西还有你为什么把它放进去所以外向者们也许你们的箱子内同样堆满了书或者它们装满了香槟的玻璃酒杯或者是跳伞运动的设备不管它是什么，我希望每当你们有机会你们就把它拿出来用你的能量和你的快乐让我们感受到美和享受但是内向者们，你们作为内向者你们很可能有仔细保护一切的冲动在你箱子里的东西这没有问题但是偶尔地，只是说偶尔地我希望你们可以打开你们的手提箱，让别人看一看因为这个世界需要你们，同样需要你们身上所携带的你们特有的事物

so i wish you the best of all possible journeys and the courage to speak softly.

所以对于你们即将走上的所有旅程，我都给予你们我最美好的祝愿还有温柔地说话的勇气

thank you. thank you.

非常感谢你们!

ted演讲稿4

I was one of the only kids in college who had a reason to go to the P.O. bo_ at the end of the day, and that was mainly because my mother has never believed in email, in Facebook, in te_ting or cell phones in general. And so while other kids were BBM-ing their parents, I was literally waiting by the mailbo_ to get a letter from home to see how the weekend had gone, which was a little frustrating when Grandma was in the hospital, but I was just looking for some sort of scribble, some unkempt cursive from my mother.

And so when I moved to New York City after college and got completely sucker-punched in the face by depression, I did the only thing I could think of at the time. I wrote those same kinds of letters that my mother had written me for strangers, and tucked them all throughout the city, dozens and dozens of them. I left them everywhere, in cafes and in libraries, at the U.N., everywhere. I blogged about those letters and the days when they were necessary, and I posed a kind of crazy promise to the Internet: that if you asked me for a hand-written letter, I would write you one, no questions asked. Overnight, my inbo_ morphed into this harbor of heartbreak -- a single mother in Sacramento, a girl being bullied in rural Kansas, all asking me, a 22-year-old girl who barely even knew her own coffee order, to write them a love letter and give them a reason to wait by the mailbo_.

Well, today I fuel a global organization that is fueled by those trips to the mailbo_, fueled by the ways in which we can harness social media like never before to write and mail strangers letters when they need them most, but most of all, fueled by crates of mail like this one, my trusty mail crate, filled with the scriptings of ordinary people, strangers writing letters to other strangers not because they're ever going to meet and laugh over a cup of coffee, but because they have found one another by way of letter-writing.

But, you know, the thing that always gets me about these letters is that most of them have been written by people that have never known themselves loved on a piece of paper. They could not tell you about the ink of their own love letters. They're the ones from my generation, the ones of us that have grown up into a world where everything is paperless, and where some of our best conversations have happened upon a screen. We have learned to diary our pain onto Facebook, and we speak swiftly in 140 characters or less.

But what if it's not about efficiency this time? I was on the subway yesterday with this mail crate, which is a conversation starter, let me tell you. If you ever need one, just carry one of these. (Laughter) And a man just stared at me, and he was like, "Well, why don't you use the Internet?" And I thought, "Well, sir, I am not a strategist, nor am I specialist. I am merely a storyteller." And so I could tell you about a woman whose husband has just come home from Afghanistan, and she is having a hard time unearthing this thing called conversation, and so she tucks love letters throughout the house as a way to say, "Come back to me. Find me when you can." Or a girl who decides that she is going to leave love letters around her campus in Dubuque, Iowa, only to find her efforts ripple-effected the ne_t day when she walks out onto the quad and finds love letters hanging from the trees, tucked in the bushes and the benches. Or the man who decides that he is going to take his life, uses Facebook as a way to say goodbye to friends and family. Well, tonight he sleeps safely with a stack of letters just like this one tucked beneath his pillow, scripted by strangers who were there for him when.

These are the kinds of stories that convinced me that letter-writing will never again need to flip back her hair and talk about efficiency, because she is an art form now, all the parts of her, the signing, the scripting, the mailing, the doodles in the margins. The mere fact that somebody would even just sit down, pull out a piece of paper and think about someone the whole way through, with an intention that is so much harder to unearth when the browser is up and the iPhone is pinging and we've got si_ conversations rolling in at once, that is an art form that does not fall down to the Goliath of "get faster," no matter how many social networks we might join. We still clutch close these letters to our chest, to the words that speak louder than loud, when we turn pages into palettes to say the things that we have needed to say, the words that we have needed to write, to sisters and brothers and even to strangers, for far too long. Thank you.

ted演讲稿5

拥抱他人，拥抱自己

embracing otherness. when i first heard this theme, i thought, well, embracing otherness is embracing myself. and the journey to that place of understanding and acceptance has been an interesting one for me, and it's given me an insight into the whole notion of self, which i think is worth sharing with you today.

拥抱他类。当我第一次听说这个主题时，我心想，拥抱他类不就是拥抱自己吗。我个人懂得理解和接受他类的经历很有趣，让我对于“自己”这个词也有了新的认识，我想今天在这里和你们分享下我的心得体会。

we each have a self, but i don't think that we're born with one. you know how newborn babies believe they're part of everything; they're not separate? well that fundamental sense of oneness is lost on us very quickly. it's like that initial stage is over -- oneness: infancy, unformed, primitive. it's no longer valid or real. what is real is separateness, and at some point in early babyhood, the idea of self starts to form. our little portion of oneness is given a name, is told all kinds of things about itself, and these details, opinions and ideas become facts, which go towards building ourselves, our identity. and that self becomes the vehicle for navigating our social world. but the self is a projection based on other people's projections. is it who we really are? or who we really want to be, or should be?

我们每个人都有个自我，但并不是生来就如此的。你知道新生的宝宝们觉得他们是任何东西的一部分，而不是分裂的个体。这种本源上的“天人合一”感在我们出生后很快就不见了，就好像我们人生的第一个篇章--和谐统一：婴儿，未成形，原始--结束了。它们似幻似影，而现实的世界是孤独彼此分离的。而在孩童期的某段时间，我们开始形成自我这个观点。宇宙中的小小个体有了自己的名字，有了自己的过去等等各种信息。这些关于自己的细节，看法和观点慢慢变成事实，成为我们身份的一部分。而那个自我，也变成我们人生路上前行的导航仪。然后，这个所谓的自我，是他人自我的映射，还是我们真实的自己呢?我们究竟想成为什么样，应该成为什么样的呢?

so this whole interaction with self and identity was a very difficult one for me growing up. the self that i attempted to take out into the world was rejected over and over again. and my panic at not having a self that fit, and the confusion that came from my self being rejected, created an_iety, shame and hopelessness, which kind of defined me for a long time. but in retrospect, the destruction of my self was so repetitive that i started to see a pattern. the self changed, got affected, broken, destroyed, but another one would evolve -- sometimes stronger, sometimes hateful, sometimes not wanting to be there at all. the self was not constant. and how many times would my self have to die before i realized that it was never alive in the first place?

这个和自我打交道，寻找自己身份的过程在我的成长记忆中一点都不容易。我想成为的那些“自我”不断被否定再否定，而我害怕自己无法融入周遭的环境，因被否定而引起的困惑让我变得更加忧虑，感到羞耻和无望，在很长一段时间就是我存在状态。然而回头看，对自我的解构是那么频繁，以至于我发现了这样一种规律。自我是变化的，受他人影响，分裂或被打败，而另一个自我会产生，这个自我可能更坚强，可能更可憎，有时你也不想变成那样。所谓自我不是固定不变的。而我需要经历多少次自我的破碎重生才会明白其实自我从来没有存在过?

i grew up on the coast of england in the '70s. my dad is white from cornwall, and my mom is black from zimbabwe. even the idea of us as a family was challenging to most people. but nature had its wicked way, and brown babies were born. but from about the age of five, i was aware that i didn't fit. i was the black atheist kid in the all-white catholic school run by nuns. i was an anomaly, and my self was rooting around for definition and trying to plug in. because the self likes to fit, to see itself replicated, to belong. that confirms its e_istence and its importance. and it is important. it has an e_tremely important function. without it, we literally can't interface with others. we can't hatch plans and climb that stairway of popularity, of success. but my skin color wasn't right. my hair wasn't right. my history wasn't right. my self became defined by otherness, which meant that, in that social world, i didn't really e_ist. and i was "other" before being anything else -- even before being a girl. i was a noticeable nobody.

我在70年代英格兰海边长大，我的父亲是康沃尔的白人，母亲是津巴布韦的黑人。而想象我和父母是一家人对于其他人来说总是不太自然。自然有它自己的魔术，棕色皮肤的宝宝诞生了。但从我五岁开始，我就有种感觉我不是这个群体的。我是一个全白人天主教会学校里面黑皮肤无神论小孩。我与他人是不同的，而那个热衷于归属的自我却到处寻找方式寻找归属感。这种认同感让自我感受到存在感和重要性，因此十分重要。这点是如此重要，如果没有自我，我们根本无法与他人沟通。没有它，我们无所适从，无法获取成功或变得受人欢迎。但我的肤色不对，我的头发不对，我的过去不对，我的一切都是另类定义的，在这个社会里，我其实并不真实存在。我首先是个异类，其次才是个女孩。我是可见却毫无意义的人。

another world was opening up around this time: performance and dancing. that nagging dread of self-hood didn't e_ist when i was dancing. i'd literally lose myself. and i was a really good dancer. i would put all my emotional e_pression into my dancing. i could be in the movement in a way that i wasn't able to be in my real life, in myself.

这时候，另一个世界向我敞开了大门：舞蹈表演。那种关于自我的唠叨恐惧在舞蹈时消失了，我放开四肢，也成为了一位不错的舞者。我将所有的情绪都融入到舞蹈的动作中去，我可以在舞蹈中与自己相溶，尽管在现实生活中却无法做到。

and at 16, i stumbled across another opportunity, and i earned my first acting role in a film. i can hardly find the words to describe the peace i felt when i was acting. my dysfunctional self could actually plug in to another self, not my own, and it felt so good. it was the first time that i e_isted inside a fully-functioning self -- one that i controlled, that i steered, that i gave life to. but the shooting day would end, and i'd return to my gnarly, awkward self.

16岁的时候，我遇到了另一个机会，第一部参演的电影。我无法用语言来表达在演戏的时候我所感受到的平和，我无处着落的自我可以与那个角色融为一体，而不是我自己。那感觉真棒。这是第一次我感觉到我拥有一个自我，我可以驾驭，令其富有盛名的自我。然而当拍摄结束，我又会回到自己粗糙不明，笨拙的自我。

by 19, i was a fully-fledged movie actor, but still searching for definition. i applied to read anthropology at university. dr. phyllis lee gave me my interview, and she asked me, "how would you define race?" well, i thought i had the answer to that one, and i said, "skin color." "so biology, genetics?" she said. "because, thandie, that's not accurate. because there's actually more genetic difference between a black kenyan and a black ugandan than there is between a black kenyan and, say, a white norwegian. because we all stem from africa. so in africa, there's been more time to create genetic diversity." in other words, race has no basis in biological or scientific fact. on the one hand, result. right? on the other hand, my definition of self just lost a huge chunk of its credibility. but what was credible, what is biological and scientific fact, is that we all stem from africa -- in fact, from a woman called mitochondrial eve who lived 160,000 years ago. and race is an illegitimate concept which our selves have created based on fear and ignorance.

19岁的时候，我已经是富有经验的专业电影演员，而我还是在寻找自我的定义。我申请了大学的人类学专业。phyllis lee博士面试了我，她问我：“你怎么定义种族?”我觉得我很了解这个话题，我说：“肤色。”“那么生物上来说呢，例如遗传基因?”她说，“thandie 肤色并不全面，其实一个肯尼亚黑人和乌干达黑人之间基因差异比一个肯尼亚黑人和挪威白人之间差异要更多。因为我们都是从非洲来的，所以在非洲，基因变异演化的时间是最久的。”换句话说，种族在生物学或任何科学上都没有事实根据。另一方面，我对于自我的定义瞬时失去了一大片基础。但那就是生物学事实，我们都是非洲后裔，一位在160 0__年前的伟大女性mitochondrial eve的后人。而种族这个无效的概念是我们基于恐惧和无知自己捏造出来的。

strangely, these revelations didn't cure my low self-esteem, that feeling of otherness. my desire to disappear was still very powerful. i had a degree from cambridge; i had a thriving career, but my self was a car crash, and i wound up with bulimia and on a therapist's couch. and of course i did. i still believed my self was all i was. i still valued self-worth above all other worth, and what was there to suggest otherwise? we've created entire value systems and a physical reality to support the worth of self. look at the industry for self-image and the jobs it creates, the revenue it turns over. we'd be right in assuming that the self is an actual living thing. but it's not. it's a projection which our clever brains create in order to cheat ourselves from the reality of death.

奇怪的是，这个发现并没有治好我的自卑，那种被排挤的感觉。我还是那么强烈地想要离开消失。我从剑桥拿到了学位，我有份充满发展的工作，然而我的自我还是一团糟，我得了催吐病不得不接受治疗师的帮助。我还是相信自我是我的全部。我还是坚信“自我”的价值甚过一切。而且我们身处的世界就是如此，我们的整个价值系统和现实环境都是在服务“自我”的价值。看看不同行业里面对于自我的塑造，看看它们创造的那些工作，产出的那些利润。我们甚至必须相信自我是真实存在的。但它们不是，自我不过是我们聪明的脑袋假想出来骗自己不去思考死亡这个话题的幌子。

but there is something that can give the self ultimate and infinite connection -- and that thing is oneness, our essence. the self's struggle for authenticity and definition will never end unless it's connected to its creator -- to you and to me. and that can happen with awareness -- awareness of the reality of oneness and the projection of self-hood. for a start, we can think about all the times when we do lose ourselves. it happens when i dance, when i'm acting. i'm earthed in my essence, and my self is suspended. in those moments, i'm connected to everything -- the ground, the air, the sounds, the energy from the audience. all my senses are alert and alive in much the same way as an infant might feel -- that feeling of oneness.

但其实我们的终极自我其实是我们的本源，合一。挣扎自我是否真实，究竟是什么永远没有终结，除非它和赋予它意义的创造者合一，就是你和我。而这点当我们意识到现实是你中有我，我中有你，和谐统一，而自我是种假象时就会体会到了。我们可以想想，什么时候我们是身心统一的，例如说我跳舞，表演的时候，我和我的本源连结，而我的自我被抛在一边。那时，我和身边的一切--空气，大地，声音，观众的反馈都连结在一起。我的知觉是敏锐和鲜活的，就像初生的婴儿那样，合一。

and when i'm acting a role, i inhabit another self, and i give it life for awhile, because when the self is suspended so is divisiveness and judgment. and i've played everything from a vengeful ghost in the time of slavery to secretary of state in __. and no matter how other these selves might be, they're all related in me. and i honestly believe the key to my success as an actor and my progress as a person has been the very lack of self that used to make me feel so an_ious and insecure. i always wondered why i could feel others' pain so deeply, why i could recognize the somebody in the nobody. it's because i didn't have a self to get in the way. i thought i lacked substance, and the fact that i could feel others' meant that i had nothing of myself to feel. the thing that was a source of shame was actually a source of enlightenment.

当我在演戏的时候，我让另一个自我住在我体内，我代表它行动。当我的自我被抛开，紧随的分歧和主观判断也消失了。我曾经扮演过奴隶时代的复仇鬼魂，也扮演过__年的国务卿。不管他们这些自我是怎样的，他们都在那时与我相连。而我也深信作为演员，我的成功，或是作为个体，我的成长都是源于我缺乏“自我”，那种缺乏曾经让我非常忧虑和不安。我总是不明白为什么我会那么深地感受到他人的痛苦，为什么我可以从不知名的人身上看出他人的印痕。是因为我没有所谓的自我来左右我感受的信息吧。我以为我缺少些什么，我以为我对他人的理解是因为我缺乏自我。那个曾经是我深感羞耻的东西其实是种启示。

and when i realized and really understood that my self is a projection and that it has a function, a funny thing happened. i stopped giving it so much authority. i give it its due. i take it to therapy. i've become very familiar with its dysfunctional behavior. but i'm not ashamed of my self. in fact, i respect my self and its function. and over time and with practice, i've tried to live more and more from my essence. and if you can do that, incredible things happen.

当我真的理解我的自我不过是种映射，是种工具，一件奇怪的事情发生了。我不再让它过多控制我的生活。我学习管理它，像把它带去看医生一样，我很熟悉那些因自我而失调的举动。我不因自我而羞耻，事实上，我很尊敬我的自我和它的功能。而随着时间过去，我的技术也更加熟练，我可以更多的和我的本源共存。如果你愿意尝试，不可以思议的事情也会发生在你身上。

i was in congo in february, dancing and celebrating with women who've survived the destruction of their selves in literally unthinkable ways -- destroyed because other brutalized, psychopathic selves all over that beautiful land are fueling our selves' addiction to ipods, pads, and bling, which further disconnect ourselves from ever feeling their pain, their suffering, their death. because, hey, if we're all living in ourselves and mistaking it for life, then we're devaluing and desensitizing life. and in that disconnected state, yeah, we can build factory farms with no windows, destroy marine life and use rape as a weapon of war. so here's a note to self: the cracks have started to show in our constructed world, and oceans will continue to surge through the cracks, and oil and blood, rivers of it.

今年二月，我在刚果和一群女性一起跳舞和庆祝，她们都是经历过各种无法想象事情“自我”遍体鳞伤的人们，那些备受摧残，心理变态的自我充斥在这片美丽的土地，而我们仍痴迷地追逐着ipod，pad等各种闪亮的东西，将我们与他们的痛苦，死亡隔得更远。如果我们各自生活在自我中，并无以为这就是生活，那么我们是在贬低和远离生命的意义。在这种脱节的状态中，我们是可以建设没有窗户的工厂，破坏海洋生态，将__作为战争的工具。为我们的自我做个解释：这是看似完善的世界里的裂痕，海洋，河流，石油和鲜血正不断地从缝中涌出。

crucially, we haven't been figuring out how to live in oneness with the earth and every other living thing. we've just been insanely trying to figure out how to live with each other -- billions of each other. only we're not living with each other; our crazy selves are living with each other and perpetuating an epidemic of disconnection.

关键的是，我们还没有明白如何和自然以及其他所有生物和谐地共处。我们只是疯狂地想和其他人沟通，几十亿其他人。只有当我们不在和世界合一的时候，我们疯狂的自我却互相怜惜，并永远继续这场相互隔绝的疫症。

let's live with each other and take it a breath at a time. if we can get under that heavy self, light a torch of awareness, and find our essence, our connection to the infinite and every other living thing. we knew it from the day we were born. let's not be freaked out by our bountiful nothingness. it's more a reality than the ones our selves have created. imagine what kind of e_istence we can have if we honor inevitable death of self, appreciate the privilege of life and marvel at what comes ne_t. simple awareness is where it begins.

让我们共生共荣，并不要太过激进着急。试着放下沉重的自我，点亮知觉的火把，寻找我们的本源，我们与万事万物之间的联系。我们初生时就懂得这个道理的。不要被我们内心丰富的空白吓到，这比我们虚构的自我要真实。想象如果你能接受自我并不存在，你想要如何生活，感恩生命的可贵和未来的惊奇。简单的觉醒就是开始。

thank you for listening.

(applause) 谢谢。

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