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3个方法教你正确使用托福独立写作中的举例论证

时间: 楚薇20 分享

  新托福独立作文写作学会技巧,拿到高分也不是那么困难了。而在其中最为重要的就是确定好写作的思路。下面我们就为大家介绍托福独立写作如何正确使用举例论证。

  3个方法教你正确使用托福独立写作中的举例论证

  在托福写作过程中,举例论证的使用是一个非常重要的过程,没有举例,托福作文就无从延展。但是实际考生在考试和练习的过程中,对于举例的方式用得相当低端和无效。一部分考生举例和主题无关,而还有一些考生举例过于繁琐并且添加了相当一部分的无用内容。因IBT考试评分标准里规定了“the essay should be well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details”的内容,这就要求考生们在构文的过程中必须要给出适当的例子和地道的支撑内容。

  一、举例的选择

  举例的内容选择在IBT相对是自由的,因为考生既可以选择名人、事件和社会事实,也可以选择自己身边的例子,诸如朋友、家庭成员、同学、老师等。

  首先,名人名事需要考生在考试之前积累大量的信息,包括名人的名字、事件名称、发生的时间地点人物情节,包括一些名著的情节等。这里并不需要考生完全记忆,故事梗概能对topic sentence进行足量的支撑即可。例:Beethoven, the German Composer, began to lose his hearing in 1801 and was entirely deaf by 1819. However, this obstacle could not keep him from becoming one of the most famous and prolific composers in art history. His music, including 9 symphonies, 5 piano concertos, several senates and so on, forms a transition from classical to romantic composition. 贝多芬的例子可以用于励志类型的题目(如Should people stick to their dream even though it's difficult to become true or a practical one?)。这样,在写文的过程中加入作品数量和内容,容易增加学术性和说服力。

  其次,社会事实的内容一样能够提供大量的例证支持,社会事件的说服力更直接有力。这里特别要注意的是,在描述时间的过程中,注意排除事件的无关背景信息,保留能够为支持论证服务的内容。例:For example, students might attempt to paraphrase to convey information obtained from research but fail to cite their sources. Or they might fail to identify passages as quotations when they are conducting research for a writing project and later treat the passage as though it were a paraphrase. In still other cases, students will knowingly attempt to pass off the work of other writers as their own. 剽窃的例子可以用在诚信或者是信息技术的题目中,凸显内容高度。

  当然,考生也可以选择自己和身边亲朋好友的例子。考生常见做法为编造个人经历,现场马上造出一个新鲜的例子。只要举例内容到位,是不会影响得分的。所以在个人经历描写中,考生一定要把握列举事件的人事物地以及情节还有因果,最好加上由此事得出的最终结论。例如:When my grandparents were children, the only transportations for the majorities are animal labored or human labored vents. Once my grandfather tries to go to Beijing to take the big exam, it took him half a month to ride his horse there. However, as air plane is becoming an affordable transportation for most of modern people, it will only take me 1 hour to get there. Not to mention the comfortable environment on an air plane or a train comparing with the vans in the past. 这样的例子要求考生还要注意一点的就是,国际化考试不要给出过多的local概念。很多考生背了很多中国特色短语(像四个现代化,社会主义等),认为用在文章能体现词汇量,这点不是英文考试地道语言内容的体现。

  二、举例中的逻辑运用

  举例中同样包括了推理论证的方法。举例虽然容易写,但其论证力度如果没有推理,则会显得混乱。因为举例是在特定情景下,适当运用推理能够符合一般的情形。推理举例的一个重要原则是具体化,设置具体的场景。我们可以用5W1H作为工具展开。提醒考生注意的是:用词的部分尽可能要与选择的场景相匹配,像一些比较专业领域的词汇则可以避开。这样就使得场景更加逼真;不宜用那些泛泛而谈的词诸如:beautiful, great, important, good等。其实,举例和设置场景的推理有共通之处,就是把你想到的一个具体例子变得更加普遍化,过去时变成一般现在时。比如,举例的话我们会说,我叔叔丢了工作,但是他没有放弃,积极学习,最后他成了CEO。这是一个递推的过程,非常容易。

  三、举例的格式

  应当注意的是,引出例子不再仅仅只有for example、for instance, 其实针对不同的例子都有不同的巧妙而又自然的引入。比如上述例子中的句式,此外还有:a case in point、after all、as a proof、as an illustration(使用时放于句首,后加逗号)、as an example、for example、for instance、in particular、just as、namely、such、specifically、that is、to illustrate、to demonstrate。举例的位置既可以放在主题句后,也可放段尾。

  托福写作如何做到善用例子

  如动物→鸟类,现代交通方式→飞机,上面的举例是最简单的形式,即对单个词/短语,或说单个对象举例。我们在独立写作中会遇到对单个对象的举例,这也是大家都能做好的;但我们更常遇到的是需要对一个句子,或说多个对象互相联系而串成的观点举例的情况,这时我们就需要留意我们所举的例子的有效性了。

  托福写作举例的基本原则:

  a. 细节性原则----细于被举例者。

  b. 一致性原则----良好体现与要用举例证明的观点的一致对应关系,观点中的重点信息应在例子中不多不少地体现。

  新托福写作真经介绍的举例的具体操作方法:

  粗举,细举,引调查,列数字。

  (1)粗例----粗犷的例子

  “粗例”即一类人、物或事,或一个公认事实的例子,说白了就是多数人都能认可的信息。寻找这类例子的时候比较轻松,只要在观点中找出可以继续细化的重点信息然后"narrow down"就可以了。

  观点1: Employers are willing to pay a premium for highly qualified applicants.

  粗例1: International companies desire bilingual employees and offer higher salaries to attract them.

  “粗例”可以建立“面”对“线”的关系,但需要注意不能太空洞,同时也要控制使用的量;粗例子需要搭配因果分析、比较论证来使用,才能使整个段落更有血肉。

  (2)细例----细致的例子

  “细例”就是具体到一个人、一个物,或一件事,可以是实际存在的,也可以无中生有。这类例子使托福写作更加鲜活,更有说服力,通常也能占据更长一些的篇幅,平时有意识地积累并灵活联系,写起这类例子来才会更加得心应手。

  a. 实际存在的,一方面,这类例子可以是身边,家人、朋友、自己和身边发生的一些事情;另一方面就是名人和一些被报道出来的“名事”了

  观点2: Mistakes serve as vivid, sometimes painful deterrents from certain action.

  细例2: A friend of mine suffering from smoking-induced lung disease would remember the emotional and physical pain associated with the side-effects of tobacco usage. Not only does he recall the smell of hospitals, the imprint of pain on the face of someone who died from smoking, but he would also link these memories immediately with cigarettes.

  观点3: You cannot judge a person only by his or her appearance.

  细例3: Susan Boyle is one of those. Such an appearance has long been rumored, but her incredible voice and stunning performance on BGT has won her great popularity.

  b. 此外,"细例"的无中生有就是假设论证,常用if,supposing等开头。

  观点4: Individuals play a significant role in alleviating traffic congestion.

  细例4: If 30 people get on a public bus instead of 30 individual cars, there will be far fewer automobiles on the road, greatly easing the traffic burden.

  通过上面新托福写作真经的介绍相信大家对于如何使用例子都有了解了,新托福写作中例子不是一摆就完事的,大家还需要简化提炼,这样才能让自己的托福写作文章显得有档次。 接下来是一篇例证的范文:

  Some people like to keep records or experiences by exposing photos on social networking sites. Others do not like to create such records. Which way do you prefer?

  If there is one word that best describes the modern world, that word would undoubtedly be “ technology “. The world technology is creeping into everybody’s daily life unconsciously. One of the greatest innovations in this century is Facebook launched by Mark Zuckerburg, providing a convenient platform on which people could freely exchange ideas and share their pictures. However, due to the large volume of data collected about users, the service’s privacy has faced doubt and suspicion among critics. As far as I am concerned, the drawbacks of this sharing method outweigh its counterparts.

  To begin with, those pictures could exert negative influences on adolescents. Adolescence is a transitional and immature stage of physical and psychological development, a stage that could be readily and deeply affected by outside world. For example; many Facebook users, especially adolescents, displays references to alcohol and substance use on their Facebook profiles. One study of alcohol displays on underage college Facebook users found that 35 percent participant profiles displayed alcohol. This trend continues to increase dramatically. One of critics claimed that sometimes, those teenagers posted such pictures just to look cool, but in fact it led to imitation and even frenzy among friends. In addition, a piece of striking news made on the front page is that a girl from Taiwan posted her Porsche car, hundreds of luxury shoes, and even a private jet plane on her homepage. Then, after a week, thousands of photos about luxury brands, private boats, and decent villas appear on the Instagram. Form these examples we see photos shape false values for teenagers.

  In addition, exposed phones might bring unintended consequence. By statistic, most of network profiles are set ‘‘ visible to public’’ meaning anyone can access the profiles that users have updated. Once those pictures and photos are targeted by harming users, these would put people at a higher risk of being stalked and then raped or even killed. The RANN ( the rape , Abuse and Incest National Network ) has released a report that there are millions stalking each year in America. Of course, one in four reported experiencing cyber stalking. What’ worse, due to safety holes,some sex offenders always find a way to access to picture of young children; stalk them by hints photos left and then committed crimes at last. Thus, it is parent’s responsibility that stops uploading life pictures about children’s for their protection.

  Assuming above, although keeping records might leave an unforgettable memory, posting photos with geographic information would not only definitely make strangers aware of their location, and thus leads to unpredictable risks for users, but also mold false values among teenagers.

  托福独立写作范文:人们更关心公众的认可胜过钱

  托福独立写作范文之人们更关心公众的认可胜过钱,英文题目People care more about public recognition than about money. Even if no more money is given, public recognition can still make people work harder.

  托福写作题目:

  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People care more about public recognition than about money. Even if no more money is given, public recognition can still make people work harder.【相对于钱,人们更关心公众的认可】

  托福写作参考范文:

  In modern society, books or TV programs about successful businessman are becoming increasingly prevalent since people want to learn something about how to achieve success from them. When it comes to which is the original purpose of earning money, some people hold the view that people care more about public recognition than about money, even if no more money is given, public recognition can still make people work harder. As far as I am concerned, this statement works only when people already have enough money.

  To begin with, money is absolutely the fundamental demand of our daily lives. In this contemporary society, most of the stuffs we need require money, without which life can hardly operate. In addition, as mature individuals, we own the responsibility to take care of our families and provide them with a high quality life. During the period of inflation, more money is required to ensure the children’s education and families’ medical insurance. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, individuals are not willing to pursue some high level requirement such as recognition until their basic requirement, such as money, has been satisfied.

  Consequently, for most people, money is the foremost thing to be considered.

  What is more, money can be utilized to broaden social circle or improve oneself. As we know, no one can achieve success without others’ help, that is to say, sometimes whether you will succeed depends on how many friends you have. Friends can give us plenty of useful suggestions and precious opportunities, which may help us a lot during the process of the pursuit of happiness. Therefore, sometimes money can be used to consort successful people or join in some meets among the upper class, in which you need to wear decent clothes. Additionally, in order to achieve success, we need to improve our knowledge and experience. Therefore, taking some courses or training and buying helpful books are essential to improve ourselves. In a word, during the process of achieving success, money is indispensible if you want to go further.

  Admittedly, social recognition would be taken into consideration if people already have enough money. In Maslow's hierarchy of needs mentioned above, social recognition is a higher level requirement, when the basic necessities of life has been satisfied with money, individual start to regard things like recognition as their life pursuit. As the case stands, even there’s no money paid, they will be still willing to work hard to pursue respect, realize their personal value or even change the world like Steve Jobs.

  Based on the analysis from all the evidence provided above, I can reasonably reaffirm that money is the fundamental requirement when people work hard, while public recognition would be taken into account only when they have enough money. (464)


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