托福独立写作中如何展开例证段落
托福独立写作的高分绝不是简单的事，要考生具有相当的水平才行。小编为大家带来托福独立写作中如何展开例证段落一文，希望对大家托福备考有所帮助。
托福独立写作中如何展开例证段落
解释之后，剩下我们要进行的就是例证。怎么去写一个好的例子，我们还是先从失败的案例开始。同学们在写例子的时候，常犯的几个错， 就是这三个错。
第一个错叫reason和例子没有关系。比如说我举一个例子，就是刚才的那道题，高薪不稳定的工作，让我们有压力，压力让我们变的更强大， 如果我的逻辑链是如此的话，这样写例子，大家觉得和reason有关系吗?
比如说，我叔和我舅，曾经做了一个如何高薪不稳定的工作，他在一个外企，还有薪水是别人的两倍，但是很可能，因为满足不了公司的要求，随时都有可能被开除，高薪不稳定。但是，在做那个工作的过程中呢，他认识了非常多优秀的同事，从那个同事身上他学会了很多他们的优秀品质，最后变的更强。这个例子跟reason是不是有关系?你会发现好像我也是在讲我叔通过做高薪不稳定工作变更强的例子，但是这个例子跟前面的reason完全无关。因为他根本就没有提到任何跟压力任何相关的内容。
所以很多同学写文章原因和例子没有关系，是因为原因和例子根据就不是一个逻辑链。你的原因中，选择可能是C，而在例子中你可能把它变成DEFG。跟C完全无关的话，这个时候就会让别人觉得，你这一段没有做到统一，例子废话多。
比如还是刚才我叔通过做高薪的工作，变的非常强的例子，如果我已经写完我叔工作如何高薪，如何压力大，如何变更强以后，我还需要在写他变的更强以后，他就可以拿到更高的薪水;变更强以后他成功的概率就会变的更高;变的更强了以后他就可以娶到一个漂亮的老婆，生一堆可爱的孩子... 这些就完全不需要写了。因为跟我们的逻辑链已经完全无关了，你再去往下扩展，你叔变更强了以后的后续的好处，只会让别人觉得你越写例子越远，它虽然会让你的文章变长，但是长不一定会带来更好的分数，你写的太多跟逻辑链完全无关的内容。
第二个叫例子不具体，很多同学举例子都是这样。为了证明办公室上班会让我压力大，会让我效率变的更高。我的例子就变成，以前我叔在办公室上班的时候，效率真的很高，但是我叔一回到家呢，效率就会变的更低。那再比如，我为了证明做兼职可以帮助大学生找到好工作，我的例子就是我的朋友小明大学的时候真的做了很多的兼职，我的朋友小明最后找了一个非常好的工作。这种例子真的跟论点有关，没有废话，但是这种例子你写到一百个，别人也不会觉得你有细节，也不会给你高分，因为它不具体，它只是把主题句中的人换成了我叔，我哥我舅，其他根本就没有变过。主题句是办公室上班效率高，你举个例子就是我叔在办公室上班效率高，这种例子完全没有任何的意义。
所以我们如何去摆脱这三个问题，如何让你的论点和例子有直接的关系，如何避免例子中的废话，如何让你的例子变的非常地具体，大家只要牢记例子的写法是什么就行了。我们刚才说过，reason的本质叫搭桥，找到一个中间点C，而例子本质叫specify,这个单词翻译成中文就叫具体化。要具体化的是什么?就是我们的逻辑链中的A、C和B。我们在写reason的时候，你会发现A、C和B还都是相对比较宽泛的名词，A是高薪不稳定的工作，C是压力，而B是提高。而我们在写例子的时候，只需要把A变成具体的什么样的A?把C变成具体的什么样的C?把B变成具体什么样的B就可以了。
比如说高薪不稳定的工作在写例子的时候，你就不能只是简单的说高薪不稳定，你要把它薪水如何高，如何不稳定给讲清楚。你在说C在逻辑链中只是一个简单的压力，而在例子中就不能只说我叔压力大，你要把我叔压力大的具体表现写清楚。比如说他每天都有开不完的会;他每星期都有无数deadline需要他去完成;再或者是他还有一堆的同事，每一天都要跟他竞争着同样的一个薪水更高，然后压力更大的工作…而这些都是在细化我叔的压力如何大。最后我叔变的更强，你也不能只说我叔变的更强，你要把他在什么样的方面变的如何强写清楚，如果你能够这样完成一个例子的话，这个例子就是非常有细节的例子。
到这儿为止，我们就已经把段落展开了。基本原理说完了，大家看完这些分享以后，其实只需要记住四个字就可以理解我刚才讲的全部内容：第一个词叫搭桥，reason的本质就是搭桥，找到一个C，第二个词叫细化，例子的本质就是细化，把你刚才搭的桥A、C、B从抽象变的具体。然后你就完成一个非常好的，又统一，又完整，又有细节的段落了。
中国考生最容易忽略的托福写作细节点是什么?
中国考生最容易忽略的托福写作细节点是什么?得到的答案是范文?模板?生词?还有更多.......但其实对于中国考生来说，最容易被忽略的细节点，却是 语法 。
大家都知道托福写作的评分标准是从语言形式(linguistic feature)和内容(content)来两方面来衡量的。如果说托福写作比喻为一个人，那么，语言形式就是一个人的仪表着装，内容则是一个人的内涵。想要获取托福写作高分，我们就必须做到“内外兼修”。
优秀的语言形式需要考生注重：字数格式、词句丰富、语法正确。语法正确就是很关键的一点，本文就通过托福写作中的四类语法错误和大家谈谈语言形式中的语法正确性。
语法错误一：单复数不一致
单复数原则涉及可数名词单复数和动词三单(即主语为单数且动词使用现在时，动词需要用单数)。这个道理无人不知，但往往实践和理论是脱节的。那么，学生们会写成什么样子呢?[注：本文所选用错误句子均源于学生作文]
错1：Job-related decision must depend on some specific situation.
析1：situation是可数名词，当被some修饰时，应用复数。
改1：Job-related decision must depend on some specific situations.
错2：There are less support to the literature writers.
析2：There be 句式中的be的单复数由主语决定，此句主语为不可数名词support，应用单数。
改2：There is less support to the literature writers.
错3：Traveling now become a modern way for people to relax
析3：主语traveling是单数，相应的谓语动词也应该用单数。
改3：Traveling now becomes a modern way for people to relax
语法错误二：动词原形做主语
动词原形是不可以做主语的，必须用动名词(doing)或不定式(to do)的形式。
错4：Study hard will increase a person’s competence.
析4：此句使用动词原形做主语，需改成动名词(doing)或不定式(to do)的形式。
改4：Studying hard will increase a person’s competence.
错5：Educate children is a momentous task today.
析5：此句使用动词原形做主语，需改成动名词(doing)或不定式(to do)的形式。
改5：To educate children is a momentous task today.
语法错误三：两个或多个独立的句子用逗号连接
逗号并不具备链接两个独立句子的功能。
两个独立的句子有以下几种写法：
第一，两个句子用句号隔开，句首都需要首字母大写。
第二，用逻辑连接词连接两个句子，写作中常用的逻辑连接词为并列关系(and，分号)、转折(but, yet)、因果(for, so)。
第三，写成复合句的形式，即名词性从句、定语从句或状语从句。例句有以下两种修改形式
错6：People inevitably have access to unhealthy or violent information on the Internet, some people especially teenagers will be easily attracted by those information.
析6：本句中，逗号连接了两个独立而完整的句子，是错误的。
改6-1：People inevitably have access to unhealthy or violent information on the Internet. Some people especially teenagers will be easily attracted by those information.
改6-2：People inevitably have access to unhealthy or violent information on the Internet and some people especially teenagers will be easily attracted by those information.
改6-3：People inevitably have access to unhealthy or violent information on the Internet; some people especially teenagers will be easily attracted by those information.
错7：Today the haze is severely heavy, it is exceedingly harmful to everyone.
析7：逗号连接两个独立的句子。
改7-1：Today the haze is severely heavy. And it is exceedingly harmful to everyone.
改7-2：Today the haze is severely heavy, and it is exceedingly harmful to everyone.
改7-3：Today the haze is severely heavy; it is exceedingly harmful to everyone.
改7-4：Today the haze is severely heavy which is exceedingly harmful to everyone.
语法错误四：从句单独成句
从句的“从”意为“从属”，所以，它是不具备独立的功能的。也就是说，不能把从句连接词首字母大写变成一个独立的句子。从句是复合句的一部分，从句和主句就像台湾和大陆一样是不可分割的。当从句被写成独立的句子，就犹如台湾远离了祖国母亲的怀抱，于心何忍?!所以，从句必须和主句一起构成一个完整的句子。
错8：The professor states that our culture has changed a lot. Which means we do not have to find what we want only from the literature work but also from the Internet.
析8：which引导的定语从句独立成句，是错误的。
改8：The professor states that our culture has changed a lot, which means we do not have to find what we want only from the literature work but also from the Internet.
错9：The only problem of food at the present time is that people have difficulty to decide what to eat. Because people have too many choices of delicious food.
析9：because引导的原因状语从句独立成句，错误。
改9：The only problem of food at the present time is that people have difficulty to decide what to eat, because people have too many choices of delicious food.
总结篇：
语法错误的出现大多是因为在中文表达中缺乏相应英文的规则。在中文表达中，我们无需注重动词的时态语态、动词非谓语形式等，对待单复数的表达以“简”为重(如“一所大学”和“百所中国大学”，“大学”的表达并没有变化，但对应英文需要分别用单数和复数，即'a university' 和'100 Chinese universities')。
我们在汉语的长期熏陶下，便难以完全建立起良好的英文思维。于是，在托福写作中，时而会有捉襟见肘的模样。希望本文的内容你可以让自己的语言形式变得漂亮而生动!
托福写作高分技巧：如何善用倒装句
托福写作需要添加一些新鲜的词汇和句式，才能增加亮点，得到高分。本文中，托福小编为您介绍托福写作高分技巧之一：巧用倒装句，希望对大家有所帮助。
倒装句有两种:
将主语和谓语完全颠倒过来,叫做完全倒装(Complete Inversion)。如:In came a man with a white beard.
只将助动词(包括情态动词)移至主语之前,叫做部分倒装(Partial Inversion)。如:Only once was John late to class.
英语句子的倒装一是由于语法结构的需要而进行的倒装,二是由于修辞的需要而进行的倒装。前一种情况,倒装是必须的,否则就会出现语法错误;后一种情况,倒装是选择性的,倒装与否只会产生表达效果上的差异。下面本文就拟从其修辞功能谈谈倒装句的用法。
一、 表示强调:
倒装句最突出、最常见的修辞效果就是强调,其表现形式如下:
1. only +状语或状语从句置于句首,句子用部分倒装。
eg.Only in this way can you solve this problem. 只有用这种方法,你才可以解决这个问题。
eg.Only after he had spoken out the word did he realize he had made a big mistake.只有当他已经说出那个字后才意识到自己犯了个大错误。
2. not, little, hardly, scarcely, no more, no longer, in no way, never, seldom, not only, no sooner等具有否定意义的词或词组位于句首,句子用部分倒装。
eg. No sooner had I got home than it beg.an to rain. 我刚到家就下起了雨。
eg. Seldom do I go to work by bus. 我很少乘公共汽车上班。
3. so / such...that结构中的so或such位于句首可以构成部分倒装句,表示强调so /such和that之间的部分。
eg.So unreasonable was his price that everybody startled. 他的要价太离谱,令每个人都瞠目结舌。
eg.To such length did she go in rehearsal that the two actors walked out. 她的彩排进行得那么长,以致于那两个演员都走出去了。
以上各例子都用倒装语序突出了句首成分,其语气较自然语序强烈,因而具有极佳的修辞效果。
二、 承上启下
有时倒装可把前一句说到的人或物,或与前一句有联系的人或物在下一句紧接着先说出来,从而使前后两句在意思上的关系更加清楚,衔接更加紧密,起到承上启下的作用。
eg.They broke into her uncle's bedroom and found the man lying on the floor, dead. Around his head was a brown snake. 他们破门进入她叔叔的卧室,发现他躺在地板上死了。一条棕褐色的蛇缠在他头上。
eg. We really should not resent being called paupers. Paupers we are, and paupers we shall remain. 我们确实不应因为被称作穷光蛋而愤愤不平。我们的确是穷光蛋,而且还会继续是穷光蛋。
三、 制造悬念,渲染气氛
在新闻或文学创作中,有时为了内容的需要,或是为了强调,作者常常运用倒装来制造悬念,渲染气氛。如:
Hanging on the wall was a splendid painting. 墙上挂着一幅精美的图画。
再如朗费罗(Longfellow)《雪花》中的一节:
Out of the bosom of the Air,
Out of the cloud-folds of her garments shaken,
Over the woodlands brown and bare,
Over the harvest-fields forsaken,
Silent, and soft, and slow,
Descends the snow.
在这一节诗里 ,诗人就富有创意地运用了倒装。在前五行中 ,诗人堆砌了七个状语,状语连续出现而主语和谓语却迟迟未露 ,造成一种悬念效应。全节读罢 ,读者才对诗歌的主题恍然大悟 ,因而收到了不同凡响的艺术效果。
四、 平衡结构
英语修辞的一个重要原则是尾重原则,即把句子最复杂的成分放在句尾以保持句子平衡。在语言使用中为了避免产生头重脚轻、结构不平衡的句子,我们常采用倒装语序。
1. 以作状语的介词短语开头:当主语较长或主语所带修饰语较长时,为了使句子平衡,常将状语置于句首,句子用完全倒装语序。
eg.To the coal mine came a com-pany of PLA soldiers with orders from the headquarters to rescue the trapped miners.
eg.A company of PLA soldiers came to the coal mine with orders from the headquarters to rescue the trapped miners.
一个连队的解放军战士来到了那座煤矿,奉司令部之命解救受困的矿工。
eg.On the ground lay some air conditioners, which are to be shipped to some other cities.
eg.Some air conditioners lay on the ground, which are to be shipped to some other cities.
地上放着一些空调,等着用船运到其他城市去。
从例句中可看出, 采用倒装语序的A句结构平衡稳妥 ,读起来自然流畅,而采用自然语序的B句结构零乱, 读起来也别扭。因而,在主语较长时就应采用倒装语序以取得理想的表达效果。
2. 以表语开头的句子:有时为了把较长的主语放在后面,须将表语和谓语都提到主语前。
eg.Such would be our home in the future. 我们将来的家就是这个样子。
3. 以副词here , there开头的句子,也采用完全倒装来保持句子平衡。
eg.Here is the letter you have been looking forward to. 你盼望已久的信在这儿。
五、 使描写生动
有时为了使叙述或描绘更加生动形象,增加语言效果,可将表示方向的副词(如:down, up, out, in, off, on, away等)或拟声词(bang, crack等)置于句首,句子采用全部倒装的语序(主语为人称代词的句子除外)。
eg.Up went the rocket into the air. 嗖地一声火箭就飞上天了。
eg.Down jumped the criminal from the third floor when the policeman pointed his pistol at him. 当警察把手枪瞄准那个罪犯时,嘭地一下他就从三楼跳了下去。
eg.Boom went the cannon! 轰隆一声大炮开火了!
eg.Bang came another shot!砰!又是一声枪响!
以上句子简洁明快 ,生动逼真地描述了有关动作 ,令我们一览此类倒装的风采。但这种倒装句的修辞功能在语段中可以体现得更为清楚。
"Stop thief! Stop thief!" There is a magic cry in the sound. The tradesman leaves his counter, ... Away they run, pell—mell, helter—skelter, yelling—screaming, ...
"Stop thief ! Stop thief !" The cry is taking by a hundred voices, ... Away they fly, splashing through the mud, up go the window, out run the people. ( Dickens )
作者在第一段和第二段中分别用副词away, up和out位于句首引出四个倒装句Away they run , Away they fly, up go the window , out run the people。从而制造出一种紧张、急促的气氛 ,生动地刻画了一个紧张、混乱的捉贼场面。
托福写作范文：当今社会为年轻人制定的规则太过严厉
写作题目
The rules that the society today requires young people to follow and obey are too strict. 当今社会为年轻人制定的规则太严厉了。
写作范文
It is not always easy for young people to make a living in society, not only because they are confronted with the mounting pressure brought by an expanding population, but also they are confined to all kinds of written or unwritten social rules. But some people claim that with the rapid progress of society, the rules that the young people have to follow are not as strict as they were in the past. As for me, I am in agreement with the viewpoint above, and my reasons and examples are given below.
The first example is associated with “puppy love”. It was long believed that puppy love was so harmful to youngsters’ academic performance that school authorities as well as parents rigorously forbid them to have romance. But changes have taken place in the public idea of this issue. Young people are no longer required to restrain their desire to find a girlfriend or boyfriend because the public begins to realize that it is not wise to go against the laws of nature. For example, I have two classmates who are in love with each other, and they study together, eat together and hang out together with no one else standing in the way. It seems that their grades are not affected at all.
The second example comes from the aspect of job-hunting. In my country, getting a decent job without using “backdoor policy” was once considered impossible. Whether a young person found a nice job or not depended on his families’ social backgrounds, rather than his real capabilities. Gradually, the public found out that the nepotism easily resulted in corruption, which could badly threaten the principle of social justice and fairness. Today’s young people are not asked to obey those “unwritten rules” behind the job-hunting. They can really enjoy competing with peers in a fair environment. We can see that nowadays young people from poor family stand a fair chance to be top-notch technologists, professors or managers.
Admittedly, strict restraints on young people still exist in terms of laws and morality such as abortion based on sex selection and drug abuse, because those aspects are the bottom lines of the society. It should be every social member’s responsibility to defend those lines from being broken. However, in aspects above bottom lines, the society is becoming more relaxing and tolerant, which enables young people to enjoy more freedom with fewer rules.
From what has been discussed above, we can safely draw a conclusion that young people are in a much more tolerant society with fewer strict rules. Just as a proverb that goes, “where there is oppression, there is opposition”. A dynamic and peaceful society must be a place where every member, especially young people, are given an extraordinary degree of freedom, and it is my luck to live in such a society.
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