雅思写作：人口老龄化

时间：2020-06-29 09:13:51 楚薇0由分享

优秀的雅思大作文写作范文能帮助考生积累大作文的写作素材，理清思路增加作文的逻辑性。特别是遇到一些我们不太熟悉的话题，还可以增加我们的背景知识，我们今天来看社会生活类的雅思大作文话题：人口老龄化。

雅思大作文写作范文——人口老龄化的影响

题目

It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

预计在未来许多国家中老年人的比例将高于年轻人。你认为这是积极的还是消极的发展?

雅思大作文范文

Population ageing has emerged as a global phenomenon in the wake of the now virtually universal decline in fertility and increases in life expectancy. Many countries are confronted with new demographic realities that spread from the cities to the villages. In my opinion, more problems than benefits will surface with this trend. 　　Admittedly, older people often have time to offer for the benefit of family and the community. Nowadays, the young tend to rely on the older generation for household chores. It is also reported that time devoted to voluntary work and care is at its height within the age groups over 55. Such devotion adds greatly to the community well-being, if not to the GDP.

在生育率几乎普遍下降和预期寿命增加之后，人口老龄化已成为一种全球现象。许多国家面临着从城市蔓延到农村的新的人口现实。在我看来，这种趋势会带来更多的问题而不是好处。无可否认，老年人经常有时间为家庭和社会做出贡献。如今，年轻人倾向于依靠老一辈来做家务。据报道，在55岁以上的年龄组中，从事志愿工作和护理的时间最多。这样的奉献，即使不会增加GDP，也会大大增加社区的福祉。

Population ageing, however, brings about serious economic and social problems. When the number of workers decreases, the national income goes down. At the same time, as a person's use of health services increases significantly in the later years of their life, an ageing population causes a relative rise in the public resources required for pensions, health and residential care outlays. Moreover, with an ageing population, the problems associated with the "sandwich generation", people who have both children and parents to look after, have gained increasing prominence. Members of this "in-between" generation are often torn between the needs of raising children, caring for ageing parents and job responsibilities. 　　To sum up, population ageing is an inevitable prospect, the negative effects of which outweigh the positive. As ageing is a normal part of lifecycle for human beings, we must recognize its challenges to our life and society, and work on effective strategies to minimize its adverse influences.

然而，人口老龄化带来了严重的经济和社会问题。当工人人数减少时，国民收入就会下降。与此同时，随着一个人在晚年对医疗服务的使用显著增加，人口老龄化导致养老金、医疗和住宅护理支出所需的公共资源相对增加。此外，随着人口老龄化，与“三明治一代”(既要照顾孩子又要照顾父母)相关的问题日益突出。这“中间”一代的成员经常在抚养孩子、照顾年迈的父母和工作责任之间左右为难。综上所述，人口老龄化是一个不可避免的前景，其负面影响大于正面影响。由于老龄化是人类生命周期的一个正常部分，我们必须认识到它对我们的生活和社会的挑战，并努力制定有效的战略，以减少其负面影响。

雅思写作范文及解析：人口老龄化利与弊

利弊分析类大作文社会话题

In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this have more positive or negative effects on society?

(题目来源：2011年10月8日雅思大作文)

题目大意

人口老龄化的利弊

思路

人口老龄化的积极影响：1. 帮助周边社区;2. 减轻家庭成员的负担

人口老龄化的负面影响：1. 降低参与率;2. 提升依赖率;3. 扩大财政差额

审题，找出关键词

Older people

Effect on society

高分范文

It is true that the number of ageing individuals in many countries is higher than the group of young. While I accept that this circumstance can sometimes be beneficial to society, I believe that it is more likely to be outweighed by the negative effects.

On the one hand, the growing population of older people may have some advantages to our society. To begin with, the ageing population makes positive contributions to the community through their services. Naturally, the average life expectancy has increased nowadays, which means that people are more physically and mentally heathier than preceding generations. Given appropriate incentive, these people are willing to work and contribute to the tax revenue. For example, many health and welfare agencies are seeking to hire from the growing number of retirees. Another advantage is that this situation could mitigate the stress of family members. Young people are faced with the heavy workload as they want a better quality of life for their families, and the cost of living has increased so dramatically. In this respect, the expanding of older generation could provide childcare, financial and emotional assistance to their families.

On the other hand, I believe that the above positive effects are exceeded by following disadvantages. Firstly, having more elders decreases the participation rate to the society, which means that the workforce is expected to decrease. This shortage of workers could lead to the wage being pushed up causing wage inflation. Secondly, this situation also triggers the increase of dependency rate as there are more people claiming benefits such as pension and less people working and paying income taxes. In this respect, we might have a situation where working force needs to pay higher income taxes in order to support the increased older population. Finally, it will also have the negative impact on economy for the country because of the imbalance in revenue and expenditure to the government resulting in the increase of fiscal gap. In other words, it requires government to increase spending on health care and pension, whilst older people pay lower income taxes as they are not working. Consequently, it may lead the country further in debt.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the demerits of having higher percentage in older generation are more significant than its merits. (382 words)

相关词汇

life expectancy

incentive

tax revenue

participation rate

dependency rate

wage inflation

fiscal gap

pension

雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点

In many countries, the number of elderly people is increasing fast. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays, owning to the improvement of living condition(这里习惯用复数), people can live much longer than before, which gives rise to the fast increasing number of elderly people. Some hold that this situation will result in a series of problems, such as social burden, population expansion and so on. While others insist that it agrees the development of modern society and brings many advantages. For my part, I take the latter side with(用for) the following reasons: (74words)

点评：开头稍微写的有点长，不过内容写的还不错。属于通过分析两种不同观点，最后阐述自己观点的写法。(此种写法在雅思大作文的第一段比较常见)

美中不足的是倒数第二句的错误比较明显!while是个连词，应该连接句子与句子，所以这里前面不应该是句号。后面agree是不及物动词，不能直接加宾语。

Firstly, elder people(一会儿elderly people,一会儿又elder people，这不是自相矛盾么!!!) are the fortune of our society. They have enough experiences and capabilities which are badly lacked and needed for our youth when dealing with all sorts of problems, they can still do well in their jobs. Especially(前面应该用逗号，然后这里小写) in some professions, such as teacher, doctor, scientist and so on, sometimes (前面应该用句号，然后这里大写)age means the authority and ability. When you see a doctor, do you prefer an elderly doctor with grey hair or a youth without mustache? (77words)

Secondly, elder people(同上) are the happiness of our society. Increasing number of elderly people is also the embodiment of our improving living quality, which shows our society run(应该第三人称单数)to the right and healthy direction, we(前面句号，这里大写) have more chance and time to serve our elderly people, and it’s the happiest time of all our life to accompany with(accompany是及物动词) our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. (63words)

Finally, elderly people are the lubricant of our society. They have good temper and enough patients(应该是patience吧) to do anything, they can help us to intercede(它是不及物动词，而且主要用人作宾语) social disputes, and they make our society much more harmonious which(前面最好有个逗号)makes for the construction of harmonious society.(43words)

正文段综合点评：此篇是典型的5段式作文的写作，正文段构思出三个分论点来证明自己的观点，的确在构思上花了不少心思。但是，这里我想提的是，还是两方面都分析一下会比较好一点。特别这篇文章是问优点多还是缺点多，那么最好是缺点讲一个，然后优点再讲两个。外国人喜欢这样的辩证分析。

其次，总的来说，作者的语言还是挺流畅的。但是似乎标点有问题，该用句号的时候用逗号，改用逗号的时候用句号，这个也要扣分的!

From mentioned above, the advantages of increasing number of elderly people are obvious more than it disadvantages(典型的Chinese English.应该说there are obviously more advantages than disadvantages.). Elderly people are not the burden of our society but the source of fortune, happiness and harmony of our society.(37words)

全文总评：

尽管总的来说语言水平还是很不错的，内容也写得很充实，但缺点是语言方面还是不够细腻。此文7分。

雅思写作步骤指导

雅思写作部分有2篇作文，要求考生在一小时内完成至少400字的写作任务。由于时间比较短，不少考生因未能合理安排时间，结果没有有效完成任务要求或是未能充分展现自己的英语写作水平。

写作部分两篇文章的字数要求是不一样的。大作文必须完成250字以上写作任务，而小作文150字以上。根据这一指令，从机械地写字速度来看，考生较为合理的时间分配为大作文40分钟，小作文20分钟。另外，大作文占写作总值的60%，小作文为40%，从这分值的权重来看，时间上2：1的分配也是相当合理的。

所以，要想成功完成大作文任务一定要把时间控制在40分钟左右，前后不超出5分钟。

那么如何充分利用这40分钟，完成一篇基本令人满意的文章呢?

◆步骤一：审题(<3 分钟)

审题是有效完成任务的第一步，也是最关键的一步。从评分标准看，审题的正确与否与"Task Response"有着直接的联系。而在当前模板泛滥，文章千篇一律的大环境下，有效审题是突破六分的一条准绳。不少考生在审题时，要么蜻蜓点水、草草一读，要么只关注题目中词的同义转换。如此读题，都有可能对之后的文章撰写方向造成偏差。而有效的读题方法应为：

→通读题目，了解大意。

→细读题目，分析句子间的逻辑关系。

→再读题目，辨别关键词，区分主题词和限定词，推测考官的出题意图。

由于大部分考生只作到了读题的第一步，所以出现离题或部分离题的可能性很大。现以2008年11月15日的考题为例：

There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?(题目为考生回忆，与原题可能有少许出入)

→通读题目，了解大意。

当前有越来越多的工人在家里工作，有越来越多的学生在家里学习。这是因为电脑技术越来越容易获得，也越来越便宜了。你认为这是个正面的还是负面的发展趋势?

备注：题中的accessible有不少考生不理解，对审题的准确性会造成一定影响。

→细读题目，分析句子间的逻辑关系。

要把握题目中的句子间逻辑关系，关键是能读懂代词"this"; "it"的具体指代。

"this"是指第一句话。

"it"可理解为前两句所呈现的这一现象。为了使文章写作方向更为明确，这里可把it 概括为：the wider usage of computer technology in working or studying from home

→再读题目，辨别关键词，区分主题词和限定词，推测考官的出题意图。

主题词：Computer technology in working or studying from home

限定词：positive or negative

不容忽视的词：easily accessible and cheaper

题目信息解构：

(topic) positive(benefits)

Computer technology in working or studying from home

(causes) Negative (drawbacks)

Easily accessible and cheaper

对题目做出如上分析，确保撰写的文章能包含以上的信息，审题这关绝对能过。

以上用时不超过3分钟。

◆步骤二：列大纲(<3分钟)

根据以上的题目解构信息，寻找关键词的下义词和衍生词，根据已有素材确定写作框架。

如：

Computer technology：on-line, PC, laptop, broadband

Working from home: Fashion designer; freelancer; translator; journalist; writer; music composer, artistsStudying from home: on-line course, the disable who are difficult to move; course in the foreign country

Cheaper: on-line IELTS course --several hundred RMB

Class IELTS course -- several thousand RMB

Easily accessible : in city-- at least one PC every house

Broadband: almost every house; school

Net bar: almost every neighbourhood

Outline:

☆Introduction:

Computer technology in home-study and home- work (topic)

Positive development (opinion)

☆Body:

★Benefits of studying from home:

Cheaper--- IELTS course (on-line /class)