雅思写作:怎么做才能不被发现有套模板的嫌疑
雅思写作属于雅思考试四部分比较难提高的,往往有一些雅思老师雅思听力都考的好拿满分,可雅思习作就拿7分左右 ,雅思写作它之所以难就是难在缺少方法,在雅思写作备考的时候,就能找到很多的雅思写作的模板 ,模板可以借鉴但是不能被考官发现是被套模板的,这样雅思写作就不能拿模板了,下面小编就给大家分享:雅思写作:怎么做才能不被发现有套模板的嫌疑把模板里面的东西经过自己的灵巧运用,变成全新的,变成完全是自己独一无二的东西
雅思写作:怎么做才能不被发现有套模板的嫌疑
一、分析
真题链接:In some countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
以上是剑桥中的考试真题,相信大家都已经非常熟悉了。我们就一起结合此题,对双边结构的整体文章结构和遣词造句做一个简单的对比。
1.引言段
引言段是通篇作文的开篇之作,对于它的写法多种多样。但是无论怎样书写,切忌出现以下模式性的语句样式:
模板语言:
Nowadays, the discussion about ……is a very controversial one. Those who criticize……. argue that……, but people who advocate……, on the other hand, maintain that……
这样的模板相信大家不会陌生,它曾经受到无数考生的青睐。但是我们说过,这样过于机械的语言,很难体现出考生对考题文字的理解,更为糟糕的是,你的开头有可能和无数人是重复的!
下面我们就做一个简单的对比:
非模板语言:
No matter in which country, children are, without any exception, regarded as the protected in society, not to mention making them involved in any forms of paid-work(调用背景知识,引出话题).The necessity of allowing them to make money with their own hands is indeed worth discussing(结合对考题文字的统一转换,自然流露双边讨论倾向)
2.主体段
模板语言:
1. The benefits of…… can be perceived in many aspects.
In the first place, 分论点一. For instance, 例证 / 语言论证。In the second place, 分论点二. 论证.
2. However, ……has also given rise to a lot of problems.
For one thing,……For another……, Finally,……
在传统的模板里,双边结构的主体段只是简单地分段论证两方面的观点,虽然将两种对立观点展现的非常清晰,但是也难免落入模式化的俗套。
做一个简单的对比:
非模板语言:
a.让步分析
Admittedly, hardship and bitterness of life could drive people to become mature. Under working pressure, children think about finishing their tasks
before the deadline instead of concerning how to kill their seemingly limitless free time. Work may be the only priority of their life. It is fairly different
between taking a dollar from their parents and earning one by themselves. Only the tough reality can force them to get rid of selfishness and
dependence on their parents, which is exactly one of the most urgently needed cures in parental education.
双边结构的一个重要特点就是双边论证两种观点,在这篇文章里可以先让步论证一个观点,这样可以为后一个观点的论证提供很好的对比。
b.转折过渡+提出观点
However, everything is mixed blessing. Employing children to work should be viewed as a harsh treatment and abuse to them. Kids, after all, unlike
adults, are immature both physically and psychologically. They are extremely vulnerable to both occupational hazards and social evils. More
importantly, children are at the golden age for learning not only due to their brain structure but also their curiosity and desire for knowledge. It goes
without saying that the silly action permitting children to work for financial reasons is ridiculous.
双边结构的第二段要论述对立面的观点,但是不同于上一段的是,此段不仅要充分的客观陈述一种观点同时还要带有观点倾向,因为要完成文章的第二个任务---
提出自己的观点。笔者认为这样的观点提法比较自然,不需要另起一段提出而显得比较呆板。
3.结尾段
模板语言:
In the final analysis, I concede that to some extent whether the ultimate effect of phenomena is good or not, one thing is certain that phenomenon
in itself is neither good nor bad. And it is the uses to which it is put that determine its value to society. I am convinced that___________.
做一个简单的对比:
非模板语言:
In conclusion, although there lies various excuses for letting the young children work for salary, it is pointless that this way could benefit them in
terms of accumulating work experience and learning the meaning of responsibility. (自然流露观点倾向)
作为双边结构作文的结尾,需要总结全文,即主体段两段的大意,同时要结合题目本身的特点提出鲜明的个人观点。
雅思写作范文:手机反社会?
Task:The use of mobile phone in certain places is just as antisocial as smoking. do you think mobile should be banned like smoking?
Sample answer:
Since the first mobile phone was invented, this technology has already changed our lives. However, while it gains its popularity, a lot of criticism also follow. Personally, I believe that it should not be banned.
We cannot avoid the fact that the mobile phone brings much convenience to our lives. In the old times, if we want to contact with a friend in a distant place, we may write a letter, which will take more than half a month before he gets the letter. But with the help of the mobile phone, we can get the connection with our friends in less than 10 seconds. In addition, the mobile phone is able to achieve many features, such as shopping online, GPS, buying tickets and so on, which not only saves our time and spending, but also brings much more entertainment.
At the same time, mobile phone industry creates great quantity of business opportunities. In the past one decade, mobile phones are sold by hundreds, bu thousand, by million and provides unaccountable jobs in the modern world as well. For example, according to a survey, Samsung has made great contribution to Korean’s GDP. However, the mobile phone also has an effect on our physical and mental health. As we all know, if we insist to play digital games on our phones, we may suffer some eye diseases unless we realise its harmfulness. To make thins worse, nowadays many people would prefer to spend their time with some virtual friends rather than keep their families accompanied in reality.
In conclusion, I consider it has more benefits than drawbacks. If the mobile phone is used at a right place and right time, it still can be put into excellent usefulness.
(287 words)
雅思写作范文:手机影响读写能力
Task:Some people believe that the increasing use of the computers and the mobile phones has a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skill,do you agree or disagree?
Sample answer:
Some educators have warned that the prevalence of mobile phones and the internet has a negative effect on adolescents’ academic ability. I agree with this view.
Firstly, the wide use of “Internet English” is regarded as the culprit of the declining writing skills. One obvious reason is that young adults may make some grammatical mistakes unconsciously because of the frequent use of improper abbreviations and punctuation on mobile devices, and this might pose a threat to their future career where a professional writing ability is required in most companies. Therefore, many linguists have expressed their concerns that the instant messaging and chatting on mobile phones might harm the ability of using formal written English.
Secondly, the poor reading proficiency can be put down to the frequent use of technologies as well. Compared to the older generation, young people today are cluttered with different gadgets, like iPad and iPhone. For instance, with easy access to wifi, they can surf the internet anywhere and anytime to follow the latest information of their idols in another country. However, most social network deliver fragment and useless information, which not only steals time way from solitary reading but also undermine the ability to think independently. In my opinion, this phenomenon should be reversed as soon as possible because reading has a profound effect on a nation’s future.
In conclusion, while these electronic devices make the communication much more convenient, I am in the camp that they might affect young people’s academic performance negatively.
(248 words)
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