英语中如何改出一篇英语作文

　　编者按：修改工作是英语写作过程中非常重要的一个环节，在反复修改作文的过程中，每个人都能获得如何正确运用语法、词汇、句型、逻辑的基础知识。我们都应该掌握修改英语作文这门技术。

　　总体而言，考虑下面几个要点，修改英语作文：

　　(1) 语法：对照作者的写作情境，参考英语语法知识，检查是否存在语法运用不恰当或错误的地方;

　　(2) 词汇：对照英语词典，检查是否存在用词不切确或重复用词现象;

　　(3)句型：检查是否存在运用句型不当现象，或者新造没有的句型。

　　(4)逻辑：仔细检查观点是否合适，各分论点是否有力地论证了所提的观点，各段落在逻辑上是否符合事情发展的来龙去脉，逻辑上是否严谨。

　　这里将举例论证上述几个要点，以说明英语作文的修改过程，下面以一篇考博英语作文(200510B)为例展开分析：

　　英语写作的题目为：

　　Is a job seeker’s previouswork experience important? If so, in what sense and to what extent? If not, whynot?

　　原英语作文为：

　　There is no denying that inthe job market those with rich previous work experience will often bepreferred. Some argue that this trend is not fairness or ration. Inmy opinion, however, previous work experience definitely counts for much for ajob seeker.

　　To begin with, an enterpriselikes have employees who can enter the working process immediately. Employees havingenough experience will help a company, especially a small or private company,to finish properly as soon as possible. Usually, private companies areunwilling to cost large amount of money in training new employees, which theybelieve will waste time and energy.

　　Furthermore, through severaltimes of job-hoppings, people can make up their minds firmly and clearly aboutwhere exactly their passions and interest lie, which is very important fortheir future success. In their previous work experience, employees have alreadylearned how to communicate and cooperate with their co-workers. Therefore, withadequate work experience, an employee can no doubt make himself familiar withhis new place so as to get a promotion easily in his or her new job.

　　Considering the aspects mentionedabove, I was a boss, I would choose a job seeker who has previous workexperience.

　　几个方面的问题如下：

　　(1) 英语语法

　　1) Some argue that thistrend is not fairness or ration. is 后面跟形容词，此处应分别改为fair，rational。

　　2) To begin with, anenterprise likeshave employees who can enter the workingprocess immediately. 本句中出现了两个动词，一般来说两个动词之间，没有连接词，这样写的句子是有问题的。所以，应将have employees改成 to have employees，动名词形式作动词likes的谓语。

　　(2) 词汇

　　1) Employees having enough experience will help a company,especially a small or private company, to finish properly as soon as possible. 其中，词汇having，如果改在with, 那么更合适些，Employees with enough experience will help a company…另外，词汇finish是及物动词，在这里后面不加宾语，显得不太合适，将其改为operate/run等不及物动词，比较合适些。

　　2) Usually, privatecompanies are unwilling to costlarge amount of money in training new employees. 其中，词汇cost，表示私企不愿意花大笔钱在新员工培训上。实际上，我们用invest 这个词汇可合适些，企业投钱在新员工培训上，有望提升员工的业务能力，最终提高企业的竞争力，赚取更多的利润。

　　(3)句型

　　1) I was a boss, I would choose a job seeker who hasprevious work experience. 这个句型用得不对，I 怎么变成过去的老板了呢? 应该改成If I were a boss, I would choose a jobseeker who has previous work experience. 虚拟语气，表示假设。实际上，我并不是一个老板。

　　(4)逻辑

　　整篇文章，在逻辑上算是可以的。本题实际上是要求就某个问题表明自己的判断，我们既可以同意以往的工作经验对找新工作的人至关重要，也可以反对这种观点，接着就确定自己的立场进行讨论。

　　作者|丹丹英语

　　公众号： 读外刊学英语（ID：dwkxyy）

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