经典轻松幽默英语笑话三则

　　在日常繁忙的生活中，也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是学习啦小编为大家带来经典轻松幽默英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!

　　经典轻松幽默英语笑话：停车费

　　A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow ,000.

　　一个商人走进纽约一家银行询问信贷员。他说他准备出差去欧洲两个星期需要借款5000美金。

　　The loan officer said the bank would need some security for such a loan. The business man then handed over the keys to a Rolls Royce that was parked on the street in front of the bank.

　　信贷员说银行借款需要提供担保品。商人马上掏出停在银行门前的劳斯莱斯汽车的钥匙。

　　Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parked it there.

　　一切手续办妥后银行信贷员接受了汽车做为贷款的抵押。店员把汽车开到银行地下车库并停放在那里。

　　Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the ,000 and the interest which came to .41. The loan officer said, "We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow ,000?"

　　两个星期后商人从欧洲回来，偿还了5000元借款以及15.41元的利息。信贷员问：“非常感谢您的光顾，这笔交易做得也很完美，但是我们有一个疑问，你离开后我们查了一下发现您是一个富翁。为什么您会不怕麻烦来这借5000元呢?”

　　The business man replied: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for 15 bucks?"

　　商人回答：“除了您这我还能在纽约市的其他地方只需付款15元就能停车两个星期吗?”

　　经典轻松幽默英语笑话：放屁的问题

　　A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent.

　　有位小老太太去看医生：“医生，我有爱放屁的毛病。其实也不是大问题，只是我放屁不臭而且没声音。

　　As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."

　　事实上，我在这里已经放了20多个屁，但是你并不知道对吧，因为我的屁不臭，而且还没声音。”

　　The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week."

　　医生说：“好的，我明白了。吃这个药片，一天三次连续吃七天，下星期你再来。”

　　The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly."

　　一星期后老太太来了，“医生，你到底给的我什么药，现在我放屁还是没声音，但是怎么这么臭!”

　　The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."

　　医生说：“太好了!你的嗅觉正常了，现在开始治听觉。”

　　经典轻松幽默英语笑话：精神病医生

　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble.

　　杰瑞去看精神病医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。

　　Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry.

　　每次睡觉的时候，我都感觉有人在床下。我要疯了!”“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治好你。”“费用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我会认真考虑的。”杰瑞答道。

　　Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

　　六个月后医生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“为什么你再也没来呢?”医生问。

　　For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for ." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

　　“一次一百块钱吗?有个酒吧服务生收了十块钱就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎么做到的?”“他让我把床腿锯掉。现在那没人了!”