放松心情幽默故事三则

　　在日常繁忙的生活中，也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是学习啦小编为大家带来放松心情英语幽默故事，希望大家喜欢!

　　放松心情英语幽默故事：怕老婆的老公

　　A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.

　　有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。

　　"You don't have to let your wife bully you,"he said."Go home and show her you are the boss ."

　　他说：“你不必让你的老婆像恶霸一样欺侮你。回家去让她知道你才是老大。”

　　The husband decided to take the doctor's asvice.He went home,slammed the door,shook his first in his wife's face,and growled,"

　　这位老公决定接受医生的劝告。他回到家，用力啪答一声关上门，在他老婆的面前：挥舞着拳头，并且大声咆哮说：

　　From now on you are talking orders from me.

　　“从现在起，你得乖乖听我的命令。

　　I want my supper right now,and when you get it on the table ,go upstairs and lay out my clothes.

　　我现在就要吃晚餐，当你把它弄好放在餐桌上的时候，到楼上去把我的衣服摆放好。

　　Tonight I am going out with my friends.

　　今天晚上我要和我的。朋友外出，

　　You are going to stay at home where you belong.

　　你给我乖乖待在家里不许乱跑。

　　Another thing,you know who is going to tie bow tie?"

　　另外还有一件事情，你知道谁要替我打蝴蝶结领结吗?”

　　I certainlydo,"screamed the wife."The Undertaker."

　　老婆尖叫着说:“我当然知道。是收尸的人。”

　　放松心情英语幽默故事：骗子，骗子

　　A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing.

　　老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案 说她的老公失踪了。

　　The policeman asked her for a description.

　　警察要求，她形容一下。

　　She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athletic build,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."

　　她说：“他三十五岁，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮，体重185磅，说话很轻乘，而且对小孩子很好。”

　　The next-door neighbor protested,

　　隔壁邻居期提出反驳说：

　　"Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."

　　“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟 的，秃头，有一个太嘴巴，而且对你的小孩稂刻薄。”

　　The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"

　　老婆回答说：“你说对了，可是谁会要 这种没用的废物 回来呀?”

　　放松心情英语幽默故事：法官与小偷

　　It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

　　那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉?”他问。

　　"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

　　“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。

　　"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

　　“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早?”

　　"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

　　在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。