生活幽默英语笑话三则

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘记了放松自己。下面学习啦小编为大家带来生活幽默英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!

　　生活幽默英语笑话：生日派对

　　On a special Teacher's Day,a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. First, the florist's son handed her a gift.

　　在教师节里，一位幼儿园教师正在接受孩子们送给她的礼物，首先花匠的儿子递上他的礼物。

　　A:I bet I know what it is...some flowers.

　　我敢打赌我知道里面是什么……是一些花。

　　B:That is right, but how did you know?

　　是的，可是你是怎么知道的呢?

　　A:Just a wild guess.

　　瞎猜的。

　　(The second pupil is the candy store owner's daughter.The teacher hands her gift over head.

　　第二个学生是糖果店老板的女儿。老师把她送的礼物举起来。)

　　A:I bet I can guess what it is...a box of candy.

　　我敢打赌我知道里面是什么，是一盒糖果。

　　C:That's right. But how did you know?

　　对了，但你怎么知道的?

　　A:Just a lucky guess.

　　碰巧猜出来的。

　　(The third gift is from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher holds it over head but it is leaking. She touches a drop of the leakage with her finger and tastes it.

　　第三份礼物来自于酒店老板的儿子，老师把它举起来，但有液体漏了出来，她用手蘸了一滴漏出来的液体，尝了一下味道。)

　　A:Is it wine?

　　是果酒吗?

　　D:No.

　　不是。

　　(The teacher repeated the process touching another drop of leakage to her tongue.

　　老师又用舌头尝了一滴漏出来的东西。)

　　A:Is it champagne?

　　是香槟吗?

　　D:No.

　　不是。

　　A:Now, I give up. What is it?

　　好吧，我猜不着了，里面到底是什么呢?

　　D:A puppy.

　　是一只小狗。

　　生活幽默英语笑话：狂欢圣诞

　　A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

　　小镇的一个警官让一个在主大道上超速驾驶的摩托车手停下来。

　　A:But officer, I can explain.

　　长官，请听我解释。

　　B:Just be quiet, I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.

　　闭嘴，我要让你在监狱里冷静冷静，直到警长回来为止。

　　A:But，officer, I just wanted to say. . .

　　但是，长官，我只是想说……。

　　B:I said to keep quiet!You're going to jail!

　　我说过闭嘴，你要进监狱了!

　　(A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner.

　　儿个小时后警官去看囚犯。)

　　B:Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.

　　幸亏警长今天参加他女儿的婚礼去了，回来后他心情肯定比较好。

　　A:Don't count on it，I'm the groom.

　　别指望啦。我就是新郎。

　　生活幽默英语笑话：新潮电玩诞

　　Professor is handing out the examination papers to a roomful of students.

　　教授正在给全班学生发考卷。

　　A:You will have exactly two hours. Under no circumstances will accept a paper given to me after the deadline has passed. Do you under-stand ?

　　你们有整整两个小时的时间，超过规定时间交上来的考卷，不管什么原因，我绝对不收，明白吗?

　　B:Yes.

　　是。

　　( After two hours.两小时以后。)

　　A:Time is up.

　　时间到。

　　B:Wait.

　　等一下。

　　(About 15 minutes later. A students come to the platform and give his paper to the professor.

　　大约巧分钟以后，一个学生走向讲台，并把卷子给了教授。)

　　A:Didn't you hear what I said?

　　你难道没听到我说的话吗?

　　R:Yes，I did. But do you know who I am!professor?

　　不，我听到了，但你知道我是谁吗，教授?

　　A:No.

　　不知道。

　　B:Terrific.

　　太好了。

　　Then he stuffed his paper into the middle of the pile.

　　然后他把他的考卷塞进整堆考卷中。