三则经典趣味英语笑话
下面是学习啦小编整理的三则经典趣味英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!
经典英语笑话：临时改变主意
Frank and Fred had received their draft notices on the same day, and neither wanted to enter the army.
法兰克和佛烈德两人同一天收到召集令，两人都不想去服兵役。
But Frank had heard that the army would nct accept anyone without teeth, so they both had all their teeth pulled.
但法兰克曾经听人说军中不收没有牙齿的人，因此他们两人都把所有的牙齿给拔掉了。
On the day of their medical exam, Frank and Fred got in line, but a huge, hairy, smelly truck driver cut in between them.
在体格检查那天，他们两人排在同一排队伍，可是有一个大块头、满身毛发而且臭味难当的卡车司机插在他们中间。
As Frank got up to the head of the line, he announced to the inspecting sergeant that he had no teeth.
当法兰克排到队伍的前头时，他对检查的班长说他没有牙齿，
The sergeant had Frank open his mouth, ran his forefinger over the raw gums and said,
那名士官要他张开嘴巴，接着用食指在他红肿的牙龈绕了一圈后说道：
"Sure endugh, you don’t. You’re rejected. "
“没错，你没牙齿，不用当兵!”
Turning to the truck driver, he asked, 'What's your problem?"
接着轮到卡车司机，士官说：“你有什么问题吗?”
The trucker said, "I've got a tremendous case of the piles. "
卡车司机说道：“我患有严重的痔疮。”
The sergeant had the fellow bend over, inserted his fore finger and rotated it around thoroughly,
班长要那个家伙弯下身去，用他的食指在肛门转了一整圈后说道：
"Sure enough, you've got a bad case. Rejected!"
“没错，你的情形很严重，不合格!”
Turning to Fred, the sergeant demanded, "And what's your problem?"
再来轮到佛烈德，班长又问：“那你的问题是什么?”
Staring at the forefinger, Fred replied, "Nothing at all, sergeant, nothing at all. "
凝视着他的食指，佛烈德答道：“没什么问题，班长，我一点问题也没有。”
经典英语笑话：把裤脚塞在你的裤脚去
The untried general faced battle the next day, and was more than a little frightened.
一位未曾有过作战经验的将军非常惶恐，因为第二天将有个战役要面对。
Seeking inspiration, he looked into the history of great commanders and learned that Wellingtonhad always dressed in red for battle,
为了寻找灵感，他翻查了历年来伟大将领的档案，发现威灵顿将军每次战斗中都身穿红色衣服，
so that his men would not realize if he were shot.
万一他被射伤的话，他的士兵也不会发现。
Instantly he called in his adjutant and ordered a pair of trousers in a rich, dark brown.
于是他传了副官进来并指示手下做了一条深褐色的裤子。
经典英语笑话：头脑要保持冷静
A young man was working in the produce section of a grocery store when a customer asked him for half a head of cabbage.
有一个年轻人在一家杂货店的农产部门工作，一天一位顾客要向他买半颗包心菜
"Sir, we don't sell half heads of anything. "
“先生，我们东西都没有卖半颗的。”
"Well, I insist; 1 0nly want half a head. "
“哎呀，我就买半颗，我只要半颗。”
"I'll ask the manager. "
“我要问问经理才行。”
The young man walked to the manager's office and, not realizing that the customer had followed him, said to the manager,
那名年轻人走到经理的办公室，不知道那位顾客尾随着他，他对经理说道：
"Sir, some asshole wants to buy just half a head of cabbage. "
“经理，有个浑蛋只要买半颗包心菜。”
Turning and noticing the customer, he quickly added,
他转身发现那名顾客，立刻又补充说：
"And this gentleman wants the other half. "
“而这位先生要买另一半。”
Later, the manager took the young man aside and said,
稍后，经理把他拉到一旁说道：
"That was quick thinking, young fellow. We can use bright lads like you. If I hear of a higher position opening up, I'll keep you in mind. "
“年轻人，你反应真快。我们需要像你这么聪明的人，如果有较高的职位空缺，我会记得你的。”
Sure enough, a few weeks later the manager told the young man that an assistant manager's spot had become vacant in the company's store in Edmonton.
几个星期之后，经理告诉那名年轻人在艾得蒙敦分店有个襄理的职位空缺。
"Edmonton!" blurted out the young man. "Why, there's nothing in Edmonton but hookers andhockey',event)">hockey playersi"
“艾得蒙敦!”年轻人叫了出来，“那儿有的只是妓女和曲棍球选手而已。”
"Young man , my wife happens to come from Edmonton! "
“年轻人，我太太刚好来自艾得蒙敦!”
"No kidding, sir; what posltion does she play?"
“真的吗?经理，那她是打哪一个位置呢?”