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英语经典幽默笑话带翻译笑死人

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英语经典幽默笑话带翻译笑死人

  从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松。与此同时,笑话也是人们反对极权和专制制度的有力武器。下面小编整理了五个经典搞笑的英语笑话及其翻译,希望可以给你的生活带来欢乐!
  英语经典幽默笑话一:The blonde and the farmer

  There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。

  一个金发女郎,是那么恶心的黄色笑话她把头发染成红色。笑话停了下来,她觉得很好,她在农村的一个搭车的星期六下午。而在这旅程,她注意到一群羊,停下车来把......。

  英语经典幽默笑话二:太晚了 It's Too Late

  A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."

  A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."

  一个医科学生被要求说明他给病人服的那种药的用量。他立即回答道:“五粒。”

  一分钟后,这个学生问教授:“我可以改正我的回答吗?”教授看看手表,说:“太晚啦,你的病人已在30秒钟以前死了。”

  英语经典幽默笑话三:因祸得福 To Profit from a Misfortune

  A man was a butterfingers. He had been suffering from unemployment for months.

  At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase.

  The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deducted from his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last."

  有一个人很粗心,老是打烂东西。他已失业好几个月了。

  最后他在一个瓷器店找到了一个工作。可是才干了几天,他就打烂了一个很大的花瓶。

  经理把他到办公室去,告诉他每个星期都要扣他的工钱,直到赔偿够了为止。他就问:“那个花瓶值多少钱?”经理说:“值500美元。”他很高兴地说:“啊!太妙了,我非常高兴,终于有个稳定的工作啦。”

  英语经典幽默笑话四:I Don't Need to Steal Any More

  The owner of a large department store went over hisbooks and discovered that his most trusted employee had stolenover a million dollars from the firm.“I want no scandal,” saidthe owner.“I'll just fire you.” The employee replied,“True,I robbed your firm of quitea tidy sum. I now have yachts, a country mansion, jewelry,and every luxury you can think of. I don't need a thing, sowhy hire somebody else and have him start from scratch?”

  一家大百货店的老板在查帐中发现,他最信任的雇员从公司偷走了一百多万美元。“我不要丑闻。”老板说。“我只要开除你。”那个雇员回答说:“不错,我是偷了你公司相当一大笔钱。现在我有游艇、一座乡村别墅、珠宝,以及你能想到的一切 奢侈品。我什么都不需要了,你为什么要再雇个人来,让他从头做起呢?”

  英语经典幽默笑话五:合理的忧伤

  On his deathbed poor Lubin lies; His spouse is in despair; With frequent sobs and mutual cries; They both express their care. “A different cause,”says Parson Sly, “The same effect may give: Poor Lubin fears that he may die ; His wife,that he may live”.

  马修·普赖厄 可怜的鲁宾躺在他的病床里; 他的妻子陷入绝望; 频频啜泣,相对哭啼, 他们都表达着忧伤。 “不同原因,”滑头牧师说, “可产生同样结果: 可怜的鲁宾怕他会死; 他老婆,怕他会活。”

  英语经典幽默笑话六:Compare other things?比一下其他?

  Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon’s name signed.

  Mom: You just care about this? Haven’t you compared other things?

  Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.

  儿子:妈妈,John有双乔丹签名的球鞋。

  妈妈:你只关心这个吗?不会比一下其它东西?

  儿子:有啊,他妈妈比你漂亮。

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