关于英文爆笑笑话大全
冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。学习啦小编整理了关于英文爆笑笑话，欢迎阅读!
关于英文爆笑笑话：Go Barefoot 光着脚去
In secondary school, I was always self-conscious about my height.
Once I was asked out by a life-guard. I had never really stood next to him and didn't know how tall he was, so the night of the date I took out two pairs of shoes-one with heels, one flat. I arranged with my brother to answer the door, compare his height with my date's and run upstairs to let me know which shoes to wear.
When doorbell rang I waited. Then my brother showed up and told me what I didn't want to hear: Go barefoot.
中学的时候，我对自己的高度非常敏感。
一次，一位救生员约我出去。事实上，我从未和他并肩站过，因而不知道他到底有多高。因此约会那晚，我拿出两双鞋，一双高跟，一双平跟。我安排哥哥去开门，让他和救生员比比高度，再上楼告诉我应穿哪双鞋。
门铃响了，我在楼上等着。哥哥跑上楼告诉了我一个不幸的消息：你可以光着脚去约会。
关于英文爆笑笑话：Impudent Questions 无礼的问题
A little girl from the East Side was invited to a garden party given by a very aristocratic(贵族的) lady to a group of little East-Siders.
The little girl, as she drank her tea and ate her plum-cake on a velvet(天鹅绒的) lawn under a white-blooming cherry tree, said to her hostess:
Does your husband drink?
Why-er-no, not to excess, was the astonished reply.
How much does he make?
He doesn't work, said the lady. He is a capitalist.
You keep out of debt, I hope?
Of course, child. What on earth do you mean by all these impudent(无耻的) questions?
Impudent? said the little girl. Why, Ma'am, Mother told me to be sure and behave like a lady, and when ladies call at our rooms they always question Mother like that.
一个住在城东贫民区的小女孩获得邀请，参加一位贵妇人为城东贫民区的孩子们举行的花园晚会。
在一棵开满了白色小花儿的樱桃树下，小女孩坐在柔软的草地上，一边品尝着她的茶和梅子蛋糕，一边对贵妇人说：你的丈夫酗酒吗? 呃，呃，不，他喝得不多。夫人一脸惊诧。
他挣多少钱?
他不工作，夫人回答说，他是个资本家。
我希望你们没有负债吧?
当然没有，孩子。你问这么些无礼的问题到底是想说什么呢?
无礼?小女孩说，怎么会呢，夫人?妈妈要我的举止一定要象夫人们一样，当她们到我们家做客的时候，她们总是那样问我妈妈的。
关于英文爆笑笑话：An angry wife's prayer 一个发怒妻子的祈祷
A man is so addicted to gambling that he often comes home late. His wife never stops railing at him. Once he is detained at his office and comes home late. His wife accuses him of gambling again but he swears he was detained in his office. "I pray to God that you are speaking the truth", his wife says.
"May God strike me dead if I am lying."
"Then I pray to God that you are lying", his wife said hopefully.
一个男人因嗜赌而经常回家很晚，为此他妻子从没停止过骂他。一次他因工作很晚回到家后，他妻子指责他又去赌博了，可他发誓说这次是因为工作。"我祈祷上帝你说的是实话，"妻子说。
"如果我说谎上帝便赐我于死。"
"那我祈祷上帝你是在说谎。"他妻子充满希望地说。
关于英文爆笑笑话：Wait for the police
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident.
Both of their cars are totally demolished(破坏) but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"
"This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."
关于英文爆笑笑话：Please Reverse the Charges 倒转车子
There was a lady who took a taxi home, and when the taxi driver approached her house she told him to stop, saying, "Okay, here, here is good."
Then she asked the driver, "How much is it?" And the driver replied, "Ten dollars."
Then, after searching in her purse for a while, she said, "Could you please go back 500 meters? I have only seven dollars on me!"
有一位女士搭计程车回家，当抵达家门口时，她告诉司机：“好，就停在这里。”
然后她问：“多少钱?”司机回答：“十块钱。”
她翻了翻皮包之后说：“可不可以请你把车子再倒回去五百公尺，因为我只有七块钱!”
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