有关爆笑英文小笑话精选
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松。与此同时,笑话也是人们反对极权和专制制度的有力武器。学习啦小编分享有关爆笑英文小笑话，希望可以帮助大家!
有关爆笑英文小笑话：Big game mishap 倒霉的雄狮
A big –game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said the hunter, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
一个专门猎杀狮子、大象等大型动物的猎人和妻子、岳母一起去打猎。一天晚上，他们在丛林深处扎了营。妻子一觉醒来，发现母亲不见了。她急忙跑去告诉丈夫，坚持要和丈夫一起去找她母亲。
猎人拿起来复枪，喝了一大口威士忌，和妻子一起去寻找岳母。在距离帐篷不远的空地，他们看到一个令人不寒而栗的场景：岳母站在一片浓密的灌木丛前，无法后退，面前对着一头雄狮。
妻子说：“我们该怎么办?”
猎人说：“狮子自己惹的麻烦，让它自己解决吧。”
有关爆笑英文小笑话：Mama Needs A New Pair of Shoes
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuinealligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the localvendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.
She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches inamazement.
Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Dang it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
有关爆笑英文小笑话：A bargain 物美价廉
A friend of mine, while visiting his mother in Florida, took her to a shoe store to purchasea new pair of shoes. While she was trying on different styles, my friend took the manageraside. "When she picks out a pair that she likes," he said, "Just tell her that the price is 12 dollars, I'll pay the regular price, whatever it is."
The following week, my friend was waling by the shoe store and the manager recognizedhim and called him in.
"What's the problem?" asked my friend as he entered the store. "Wasn't my check any good?"
"That's not it." Answered the manager, "The problem is that your mother is bringing all her friends in for those twelve-dollar shoes."
我一个朋友到佛伦里达看望他妈妈，一天，他带妈妈去鞋店买鞋。当他妈妈试鞋子的时候，我朋友把鞋店经理拉倒一旁，偷偷对他说：“只要她挑到了喜欢的鞋，你就告诉她那双鞋要12美元，我会按照实际价格付款的。”
过了一周，我朋友经过那家鞋店，鞋店经理认出了他，叫了进去。
“有什么问题吗?” 我朋友走进鞋店问道，“是不是我的支票过期了?”
“不是的，“经理答道，“问题是你妈妈带她所有的朋友都来买12美元一双的鞋。”
有关爆笑英文小笑话：Till the last minute 直至最后一分钟
Two sisters kept up a feud for 30 years. On Matilda's 70th birthday, Alice felt pang ofremorse, but it passed.
Yet later, when she heard Matilda was ill, she felt compelled to visit her. Matilda looked sternly at her younger sister.
At last she said in a faint voice, "The doctors say I'm seriously ill, Alice. If I pass away, I want you to know you've forgiven. But if I pull through, things stay as they are!"
一对姐妹关系不和长达三十年。在玛蒂尔达70岁生日时，爱丽丝感到非常后悔，不过这种想法很快就过去了。
后来，当她听到玛蒂尔达生病的时候，她觉得应该去看望玛蒂尔达。玛蒂尔达严肃地盯着她的妹妹。
最后她用微弱的声音说道：“医生说我病得很严重，爱丽丝。如果我离开人世，我想让你知道你已经被原谅了，但是如果我挺过去了，那么我们就还像原来一样。”
有关爆笑英文小笑话：Flatterer 马屁精
Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics(化妆品) guaranteed to make her look years younger.
After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asks her husband - "Darling, honestly, if you didn't know me, what age would you say I am?"
Looking over her carefully, Andy replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five."
"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. Just as she was about to tell Andy his reward, he stops her by saying...
"WHOA, hold on there sweety!" he interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet!"
朱蒂是我的朋友，她拒绝变老的容颜，就出门买了一套新出的化妆品，可不便宜，但能让她看上去年轻很多岁。
朱蒂在镜子前涂抹这个“神奇”的化妆品涂了很久，她问老公：“亲爱的，老实说，如果你不认识我，你觉得我有多大啊?”
朱蒂的老公仔细看了看，回答：“看皮肤是二十，看头发是十八，看身材是二十五。”
“哦，你这个马屁精!”朱蒂脱口而出。正当朱蒂准备告诉老公得到什么奖励时，老公没让她说下去。
“哇，亲爱的，等会!”他说，“我还没有加起来呢!”
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