关于容易看懂的英语笑话
关于容易看懂的英语笑话
笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。笑话可能只是文字游戏,但有时它在人们解决生活中的困惑时起着重要作用。学习啦小编分享关于容易看懂的英语笑话,希望可以帮助大家!
关于容易看懂的英语笑话: Midnight Snack
Two bats are going for their midnight feed. After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood. The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?" The second bat replies, "Follow me. I`ll show you." After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?" The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!" Other bat says, "I didn't."
关于容易看懂的英语笑话:Lion Tamer
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking lad in his mid-twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age.
The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment; chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.
The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them and rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the young man and asks, "Can you top that?"
The young man replies. "No problem, just get that lion out of the way."
关于容易看懂的英语笑话:Ladder To Success
One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before. Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying here on a cloud.
She spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing. He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before.
She also spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous,lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered. Harry couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed got the best of him. He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar. Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400-pound, 6'8" hairy biker-looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Harry.
Apprehensively, Harry whispers, "Who are you?" The biker answers, "I'm Cess."
关于容易看懂的英语笑话:Girls Night Out
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted
solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
(Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "Midnight." He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why? he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh. ****."
cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.
关于容易看懂的英语笑话:Ashes To Ashes...
A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time and she shows him into the living room.
She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make a few drinks.
As he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel.
He picks it up and as he's looking at it, she walks back in.
He says, "What's this?"
"Oh, my father's ashes are in there," she replies.
Turning beet red, he apologizes for bringing it up.
She continues, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray."
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