关于简单的英语笑话小短文

时间：2016-11-22 14:37:50 韦彦867由分享

　　笑话是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。学习啦小编分享关于简单的英语笑话小短文，希望可以帮助大家!

　　关于简单的英语笑话小短文：3 Big Rednecks

　　A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a 'redneck' joke?" The guy beside him stiffens.

　　"Before you start, buddy, I think you oughta know something: I'm 6' 2" tall, weigh 200 pounds and I was born and raised a redneck. This ol' boy sittin' next to me is 6' 4", 225 and a redneck through and through. And that redneck sittin' next to him is better'n 6' 6", 275. Now, sonny-do you still want to tell your little joke?"

　　To which the first guy replies, "Nah. I'm glad you told me. I'd hate to have to explain it three times!"

　　关于简单的英语笑话小短文：Dear Child

　　Dear Child,

　　I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.

　　We don't live where we did when you left home.

　　Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.

　　I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

　　This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.

　　Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

　　The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.

　　They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

　　Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.

　　Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

　　Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

　　There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

　　PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

　　关于简单的英语笑话小短文：10 Ways To Tell......

　　10 Ways To Tell If A Redneck Has Been Working On A Computer:

　　The monitor is up on blocks

　　Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them

　　The six front keys have rotted out

　　The extra RAM slots have Dodge Truck parts stored in them

　　The numeric keypad only goes up to six

　　The password is BUBBA

　　There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU

　　There's a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive

　　The keyboard is camouflaged

　　And, the best way to tell if a REDNECK has been working on a computer is...... The Mouse is referred to as a 'Critter'

　　关于简单的英语笑话小短文：Redneck First-Aid

　　Two Southerners were having the blue plate special at their favorite watering hole, when they heard an awful choking sound. They turned around to see a lady, a few bar stools down, turning blue from wolfing down a Specialty Burger too fast.

　　The first Southerner said to the other, "Think we otta hep?"

　　"Yep," said the second.

　　The First Southerner got up and walked over to the lady and asked "Kin yew breathe?"

　　She shook her head no.

　　"Kin yew speak?" he asked.

　　She again shook her head no.

　　With that he helped her to her feet, lifted up her skirt and licked her on the butt. She was so shocked that she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe with great relief.

　　The First Southerner turned back to his friend and said, "Funny how that there Hind LickManeuver works ever' time."

　　关于简单的英语笑话小短文：Airplane

　　A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. " for 3 minutes," replied the pilot.

　　"That's too much," said the farmer.

　　The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay ."

　　The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man."

　　"Maybe so," said the farmer, "But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."

　　
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