英语笑话短文带翻译大全
冷笑话是一种新兴的语言现象,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象。冷笑话不同于一般笑话,它以其独特的制笑机制,能瞬间创造出一种特殊的氛围。学习啦小编分享英语笑话短文带翻译，希望可以帮助大家!
英语笑话短文带翻译：I didn't do it 我什么也没做
One day a man came home from work to find total chaos in the house. The kids were laying outside in the mud, still in their pajamas.
When he opened the door, he found an even bigger mess: dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table and a pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys, and a lamp had been knocked over.
He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she might be ill or that something terrible had happened to her.
He found her in the bedroom still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a magazine.
She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day had gone.
He looked at her, bewildered(困惑的), and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know, every day, you come home from work and ask me what I did today."
"Yes," was his reply.
She answered, "Well, today, I didn't do it!"
一天，一个人下班回到家，发现屋子外面一片狼籍。孩子们还穿着睡衣，满身是泥地躺在外面。
打开房门，他发现屋子里面更乱。橱柜上堆着盘子，地上散落着狗食，桌子下面有一只打碎的玻璃杯，后门旁还有一堆沙子。家庭娱乐室里堆满了玩具，还有一盏灯翻倒在地上。
他迈过散落在楼梯上的玩具，上楼去找他的妻子。他开始担心她生病了或是发生了什么可怕的事情。
他发现她还穿着睡衣躺在床上，在看一本杂志。
她抬头看到他，笑着问他今天过得怎么样。
他看着她，困惑地问：“今天发生什么事情了?”
她笑着问道：“你每天下班回家都会问我今天做什么了。”
“没错啊，”他说。
她说：“是这样的，今天，我没做什么!”
英语笑话短文带翻译：You forget again 你又忘了
An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.
After checking the couple out, the doctor told them they were physically okay but might want to start writing all the things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left .
Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "where are you going?" he replied, "To the kitchen." she asked, "Will you get a bowl of ice cream?" He replied, "Sure." She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" He said "No, I can remember that." She then said, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that." He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "Well, I also would like whip cream on top, I know you will forget that so you'd better write it down." Withirritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that," He thenfumed into the kitchen. After about 30 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forget my toast."
一对八十岁的老夫妇记性不好，于是决定到医生那里检查，担心哪里有什么毛病。
医生检查完后告诉他们体检正常，只是为了帮助记忆，他们可以把想做的事用笔记下来。老夫妇谢过医生后就回家了。
晚上看着看着电视，老头站起身来，老太太问：“你去哪儿啊?”老头回答：“去厨房。”老太太接着问：“带一盘冰激凌来，好吗?”老头说：“没问题。”老太太说：“难道不用写下来?这样你就不会忘记了?”老头说：“不用了，我记得住。”老太太又说：“那好，我还想在冰激凌上放点草莓。你最好记下来，我想你记不住的。”老头回答：“忘不了，你要的是一盘草莓冰激凌。”老太太还说：“我还想在顶上再放点奶油，我知道你记不住，还是写下来吧。”老头有点儿烦了，说：“用不着写，我能记住。”老头气愤地走进厨房。大概过了三十分钟，老头回来递给老伴一盘熏肉和鸡蛋。老太太盯着盘子看了一会儿说：“你忘了拿烤面包。”
英语笑话短文带翻译：He mead his own lunch 午饭是他自个做的
An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on the 30th floor of a building.
The Irishman opened his lunch box and said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch b box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too, the blonde opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death also.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping, she says, "if I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!" the Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," She said. "He made his own lunch."
一个爱尔兰人，一个墨西哥人和一个金发男子在一栋楼房的第三十层施工。
爱尔兰人打开饭盒说：“咸牛肉和卷心菜!下次午饭还吃咸牛肉和卷心菜，我就从这楼上跳下去。”
墨西哥人打开饭盒说：“又是玉米煎饼。下次如果还是玉米煎饼，我也跳下去。”
金发人打开饭盒说：“又是大腊肠。下次如果还是大腊肠三明治，我也跳下去。”
第二天，爱尔兰人打开盒饭看到咸牛肉和卷心菜便跳楼死了。墨西哥人打开饭盒看到玉米煎饼也跳了楼，金发人打开饭盒看到大腊肠也跳楼自杀了。
葬礼上，爱尔兰人的妻子在哭泣，她说：“如果我知道他如此讨厌咸牛肉和卷心菜，我决不会再给他吃!”墨西哥人的妻子也在哭泣着说：“我会给他做玉米面豆卷和春卷!我没有发现他是这么不喜欢吃玉米煎饼。”每个人都把目光转向金发男子的妻子并盯着她看。“嘿，别看我，午饭是他自个做的。”她说。
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