短一点的英语笑话

时间：2016-11-01 13:49:47 韦彦867由分享

　　笑话是现代社会发展最快的一种口头文学体裁,它体现了某一民族行为中最深刻的和潜意识中的观点;笑话能反映出一个民族的价值系统及其对周围世界肯定和否定的态度。学习啦小编分享短一点的英语笑话，希望可以帮助大家!

　　短一点的英语笑话：The Foreman's Position 陪审团主席

　　A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant1, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p. m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess2 and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.

　　The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited.

　　After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they got a verdict yet?"

　　The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Hell, they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"

　　在一个小城市，一位法官正在审理一起酒后驾车案件。被告不仅有过酒后驾车的记录，而且声誉也不是太好，现在只是缺少一个陪审团作出裁决。因为已经接近下午四点，找个陪审团来会耽误很多时间。因此，法官宣布休庭后，就到外面随便挑选了一些人来充当陪审团。刚一出门，他就发现大厅刚好有12个律师，便请求他们充当陪审团。

　　听了法官的话，这些律师们认为这将会是一次新奇的经历，因此，便跟随法官回到了法庭。不到10分钟，案子就已接近尾声，因为被告明显是有罪的。陪审团回到陪审室进行商议，法官就等着宣布结果，马上回家。每个人都在等待着最后的判决。

　　大概过了3个小时，法官已经彻底失去了耐心，便派法警去看看判决为什么耽误了这么久。当法警回来后，法官问他：“怎么样?他们是否作出了最后的判决?”

　　法警摇摇头说：“判决?天啊，他们为了推选陪审团主席，还在进行演讲呢!”

　　短一点的英语笑话：light bulb

　　How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to climb the ladder, one to shake the ladder, one to sue the ladder company.

　　短一点的英语笑话："The Interview" a One-Act Play

　　Applicant: "I'm looking for a job as a consultant."

　　Employer: "I'm sorry, we already have enough consultants."

　　Applicant: "That's okay, with my experience, I can be an adviser."

　　Employer: "More than we can use already."

　　Applicant (getting desperate): "I'm not proud. I can do paperwork, I'll be a clerk, If you have too many, I'll start as a janitor."

　　Employer: "It just doesn't seem that we have any openings for a person with your qualifications."

　　Applicant (stands, angrily yells): "To work for you I'd have to be a low life, belly crawling, double dealing jerk!"

　　Employer: "Well, you didn't say you were an attorney! Have a seat, we may have an opening."

　　短一点的英语笑话：It's Sooooo Coooooold

　　Lorenzo Dow, an evangelist of the last century, was on a preaching tour when he came to a small town one cold winter's night.

　　He entered the local general store to get some warmth, and saw the town's lawyers gathered around the pot-bellied stove, discussing the town's business. Not one offered to allow Dow into the circle.

　　Dow told the men who he was, and that he had recently had a vision where he had been given a tour of Hell, much like the traveler in Dante's Inferno.

　　When one of the lawyers asked him what he had seen, he replied, "Very much what I see here: All of the lawyers, gathered in the hottest place."

　　短一点的英语笑话：You wont go to jail

　　A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seekingdefense. He didn?t want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, %26quot;Don?t worry. You?ll never have to go to jail with all that money.? And the lawyer was right. When The man was sent to prison, he didn?t have a dime.

　　
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