好笑的英语笑话

时间：2016-10-27 10:13:24 韦彦867由分享

　　英语笑话作为良好的英语教学素材应该可以被广泛的运用到英语教学中。本文是好笑的经典英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!

　　好笑的经典英语笑话篇一

　　A Match Made in Heaven

　　On their way to get married, a loving couple get into car accident that proves fatal. The couple is sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St. Peter to finish the paperwork so they can enter. While waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter replies, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves.

　　The couple sit for a couple of months and begin to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work out?" they wonder, "Are we stuck together forever?" St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." "Great," says the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

　　St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple. "Geez!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it's going to take for me to find a lawyer?"

　　好笑的经典英语笑话篇二

　　Partners with God 与上帝为伍

　　A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse1 is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing2 all around.

　　During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man's work, saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!"

　　A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Look and behold3. It's like a completely different place -- the farmhouse is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there are plenty of cattle and other livestock4 happily munching5 on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows. "Amazing!" the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished6 together!"

　　"Yes, reverend," says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"

　　一个农民买了一块破旧、荒废的农场，他计划着把农场改造成一座欣欣向荣的园林。农场目前的状况是杂草遍布，房屋破旧不堪，四周的篱笆也东倒西歪。

　　在他着手改造的第一天，一个城里的传教士停下来祝福他：“愿上帝与你一起实现你的梦想!”

　　过了几个月，那个传教士又一次来拜访农民。驻足观看，这里发生了天翻地覆的变化：房屋重新被整修过，条件也优于从前，成群的牛羊正在欢快地吃着青草，地里的庄稼也成排地生长着。“太不可思议了，”传教士惊呼道，“看啊，上帝和你一起实现了你的梦想!”

　　“是的，教士，”那个农民说道：“可你别忘了，当初这个农场只由上帝一人管理时是个什么样子!”

　　好笑的经典英语笑话篇三

　　Pope in Heaven 天堂里的教皇

　　The Pope dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter greets him and says. "Glad to see you, we've got your place all ready." Peter then takes the Pope down the street and shows him his new home: a small but comfortable cottage of 5 rooms. Peter advises the Pope to settle in, and then wander around meeting the other residents.

　　The Pope meets many old friends and makes several new ones over the next few days. One of these is a former lawyer who invites the Pope over for lunch. On arriving, the Pope isastounded to see a 45-room mansion, with built-in sauna and weight-room, a beautiful library, and spacious, airy rooms.

　　After lunch, the Pope spies St. Peter on the street and says, "Not to complain, but I'm curious as to why I have a small cottage while the lawyer I just met has a stupendous mansion."

　　St. Peter replied, "Well, you see, we have many Popes up here, but only one lawyer."

　　教皇去世后，就来到了天堂。圣彼得问候他：“见到你很高兴，一切都已经安排就绪。”随后，圣彼得带着他走到街上，看了看教皇的新房子。那是一栋小巧而舒适的别墅，一共有五个房间。圣彼得建议教皇先安顿下来，然后再四处去拜访其他的居民。

　　在这里，教皇不仅与许多老朋友重逢了，而且还认识了不少新朋友。其中有一位已故的律师，邀请教皇到家里吃午饭。到律师家后，教皇顿时惊呆了!那是一栋有45个房间的大厦，有桑拿间、健身房、漂亮的图书馆以及宽敞明亮的房间。

　　午饭后，教皇碰巧在街上又看到了圣彼得，便上前问道：“我可不是发牢骚啊!为什么我只能得到一个小别墅，而那个律师却有那么豪华的大厦?”

　　圣彼得回答说：“你看，我们这里到处都是教皇，可律师却只有他一个。”

　　好笑的经典英语笑话篇四

　　I Pity the Prosecutor!

　　An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.

　　Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy. One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

　　Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

　　God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

　　Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

　　God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

　　Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

　　
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