爆笑英语笑话大全

　　近年来,冷笑话在电视媒体以及网络上广为流传,带来了一场崭新的语言风暴。下面是学习啦小编带来的爆笑英语笑话大全 ，欢迎阅读!

　　爆笑英语笑话篇一

　　Bad Day at Work糟糕的上班日

　　A man joined a big multinational company as a trainee.

　　有一名男子加入一家大型跨国。公司接受训练。

　　On his first day at work,he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone,

　　在他上班的第一天，他拨电话到餐饮室，并且，对着电话大声喊!

　　"Get me a coffee quickly!"

　　“ 快点给我送杯咖啡过来!”

　　The voice from the other side responded,

　　电话另外-端的声音却响应说:

　　"You fool you have dialed the wrong extension!Do you know who you are talking to,dumbo?"

　　“你这个笨蛋，你拨错分机了!蠢蛋，你知道你在跟谁说话吗?”这名受训的人回答说，

　　"No,"replied the trainee.

　　“不知道。”“你这个笨蛋，我是公司的总经理。”

　　The man shouted back immediately,

　　这名男子立刻大声吼回去：

　　"And do you know who you are talking to,you fool?"

　　“你这个笨蛋，你知道你在跟谁说话吗?…总经理回答：

　　"No,replied the General Manager.

　　“不知道。”这名受训 的人周答说：

　　"Good !",replied the trainee and then put down the phone!

　　“很好!”，然后就把电话给挂了。

　　爆笑英语笑话篇二

　　Liar,Liar 骗子，骗子

　　A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing.

　　老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案 说她的老公失踪了。

　　The policeman asked her for a description.

　　警察要求，她形容一下。

　　She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athletic build,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."

　　她说：“他三十五岁，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮，体重185磅，说话很轻乘，而且对小孩子很好。”

　　The next-door neighbor protested,

　　隔壁邻居期提出反驳说：

　　"Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."

　　“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟 的，秃头，有一个太嘴巴，而且对你的小孩稂刻薄。”

　　The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"

　　老婆回答说：“你说对了，可是谁会要 这种没用的废物 回来呀?”

　　爆笑英语笑话篇三

　　A Henpecked Husband怕老婆的老公

　　A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.

　　有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。

　　"You don't have to let your wife bully you,"he said."Go home and show her you are the boss ."

　　他说：“你不必让你的老婆像恶霸一样欺侮你。回家去让她知道你才是老大。”

　　The husband decided to take the doctor's asvice.He went home,slammed the door,shook his first in his wife's face,and growled,"

　　这位老公决定接受医生的劝告。他回到家，用力啪答一声关上门，在他老婆的面前：挥舞着拳头，并且大声咆哮说：

　　From now on you are talking orders from me.

　　“从现在起，你得乖乖听我的命令。

　　I want my supper right now,and when you get it on the table ,go upstairs and lay out my clothes.

　　我现在就要吃晚餐，当你把它弄好放在餐桌上的时候，到楼上去把我的衣服摆放好。

　　Tonight I am going out with my friends.

　　今天晚上我要和我的。朋友外出，

　　You are going to stay at home where you belong.

　　你给我乖乖待在家里不许乱跑。

　　Another thing,you know who is going to tie bow tie?"

　　另外还有一件事情，你知道谁要替我打蝴蝶结领结吗?”

　　I certainlydo,"screamed the wife."The Undertaker."

　　老婆尖叫着说:“我当然知道。是收尸的人。”