短篇英语小笑话

　　社会学家说现在是笑话时代,笑话无处不在，笑一笑,十年少 ,笑能延年益寿，苏东坡说 百年须笑三万六千场,一日一笑,此生快哉!下面小编整理了短篇英语小笑话，希望大家喜欢!

　　短篇英语小笑话：基本原则

　　One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to freshman class，he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at your watches during class. I do，however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they’re still running.”

　　位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师，他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在对一个新生班级讲解他的基本原则时，他说:“我知道我的讲课可能经常会枯燥乏味，了无兴趣，所以如果你们在上课时看表我并不介意。不过我坚决反对你们将表在课桌上猛敲，看它们是不是还在走。”

　　短篇英语小笑话：提醒

　　Several weeks after our son began his freshman year at Alma College in Michigan, my husband and I decided to visit him. I was careful to call him a few days in advance to "warn" him that we would be coming. When we arrived at the dorm, however, I was taken aback by the disarray of his room. "Forgot we were coming, didn't you?" I teased.

　　我们的儿子是密歇根州阿尔马大学的新生，开学几个星期之后，我和丈夫决定去看看他。我特意提前给他打电话，“提醒”他我们将光临。但是当我们来到宿舍时，他的房间凌乱不堪，我非常吃惊。“忘了我们要来，是吧?”我取笑他。

　　"Are you kidding?" he replied，“Why else would I have bothered to clean?"

　　“开什么玩笑?”，他回答说，“要不然我肯定已经自己打扫了。”

　　短篇英语小笑话：逼真的戏剧

　　When I taught the introduction一to一theater course at North Dakota State University，I required my students to attend the university theater' s current production and write a critique, After viewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: "The play was so real, I thought I was actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television.”

　　我在北达科他州立大学教戏剧人门课时，要求学生们去看学校剧团当时的演出，并写一篇评论。看了一场极为精彩的演出后，一名学生写道:“这部戏剧是如此逼真，以致于我认为自己是坐在家里的沙发上，从电视上看到的。”

　　短篇英语小笑话：他的答案只比正确答案多二

　　Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an American college, and he was always trying to find good players，but they weren't always smart enough to be accepted by the college.

　　杰克·霍金斯是美国一所学院的橄榄球队教练，他竭力想物色好球员。但是好球员学业不行，学校不愿录取。

　　One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well，”the dean said after some persuasion, "I’d better ask him a few questions first.”

　　有一天，教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长，希望院方同意他免试人学。经过一番劝说后院长说:“那我最好先问问他几个问题。”

　　Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn't know any of the answers.

　　然后他转向学生，问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。

　　At last the dean said, "Well, what’s five times seven?"

　　最后院长说:“那么，五乘七得多少?”

　　The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty一six.”

　　学生想了很久，然后回答说:“三十六。”

　　The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly，"Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two.”

　　院长摊开双手失望地看了看教练。可是教练认真地说，“噢，录取他吧，先生。他的答案只比正确答案多二。”

　　短篇英语小笑话：拿破仑病了

　　Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.

　　杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。

　　“He’s a good boy,” said Jack’s father" and if you let him pass this time，I’m sure he’11 improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”

　　“他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说:“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”

　　“No, no, that’s quite impossible,” replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!”

　　“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。”

　　"Please, sir, give him another chance，” said Jack’s father. "You see, I' m afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill.”

　　“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说:“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”