爆笑英语笑话带翻译精选

　　单纯中见丰富是古代笑话修辞美感特征中比较重要的组成部分。下面是学习啦小编带来的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!

　　英语笑话带翻译精选

　　(一)

　　理论与实践的区别(中英)

　　A guy was walking along the street one night, when he came upon a man一a theoretical physicist一on his hands and knees under a streetlight, searching the street. The fellow asked him what he was looking for, and the theoretician replied, "I' m looking for my car keys.” Being a helpful sort, the fellow started searching, too. After a time he asked, "Are you sure you lost them here?"

　　一天晚上，一个小伙子在街上漫步时遇到了一个理论物理学家。只见他正爬在路灯下，像是在寻找什么东西。小伙子问他在找什么。那个理论家回答:“我在找我的车钥匙。”出于好心，小伙子也开始帮着他找钥匙。过了一会儿，小伙子问:“你确定钥匙丢在这里了吗?”

　　"Of course not,” replied the theoretician. "But at least there's light here.”

　　“当然不是了，”理论家答道，“但是至少这儿有光亮。”

　　(二)

　　天国医生(中英)

　　A doctor died and went to heaven. When he got to the gates, he found that there was a long line to get in. He went to the front of the line and told the angel that since he was a doctor and that doctors are important people, he should be allowed to bypass the line and go right in.

　　一个医生死后升入了天堂，当他到达门口的时候发现那里已经排了很长的队伍。他走到队前询问天使既然自己是个医生，而医生又是很重要的人，所以他应该可以不用排队就直接进去。

　　The angel replied: "Up here, everyone is equal. Now, please go to the end of the line and wait your turn.” The doctor grumbled but did what was requested. After a while, someone with a white smock and stethoscope walked right past the line and straight in. The doctor ran right back to the angel and said: "Hey, how come you let that doctor right in and not me” The angel replied : "That' s not a doctor; that is God playing Doctor.”

　　天使回答说:“得了，这里人人都一样，回去排队。”医生虽有一肚子怨言，可是还是按照天使说的做了。过了一会儿，一个身穿白大褂，脖子上还挂着听诊器的人穿过队伍径直走了进去。那个医生又跑到天使跟前问:“嘿，你怎么能让那个医生进去而不让我进去呢!”天使回答:“他不是医生，他是上帝假扮成的医生。”

　　英语笑话带翻译阅读

　　苏格兰人和售票员(中英)

　　A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector.

　　一个苏格兰人拎着一个很大的箱子，在开往伦敦的公交车上，这辆车已经行驶了五英里了。他时刻都想着避开售票员逃票。

　　Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up: "You've been on for five miles一that’ll be 50 pennies, please, and 10 pennies for your suitcase.”

　　后来售票员还是发现了他，叫他补票。“你已经坐了五英里了，5O便士，你的箱子还要交10便士。”

　　The Scotsman responds: "I haven’t, I want to have a penny fare，just got on this very moment.” They begin to argue, and the ticket collector become more and more enraged and finally, as the bus is passing over London bridge, he grabs the Scotsman’s suitcase, and hurls it out of the bus.

　　那个苏格兰人答道:“我没有，我刚刚才上来，我想只掏一便士的车钱。”于是他们开始吵了起来，售票员越听越生气。最后当车子行驶到伦敦大桥时他抓起苏格兰人的那个大箱子顺着车窗扔了出去。

　　It lands in the river and sinks without a trace. The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, "Not only are you treat to overcharge me for the ticket一but now you're gone a drowned my boy Jenny.”

　　箱子掉进了河里沉了下去。那个苏格兰人在那里怔了片刻，然后对售票员说:“你不但想超收我的车钱，还淹死了我的儿子强尼。”

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　　真没想到我已经往回跑了这么远!(中英)

　　A big battle was going on during the First World War. Guns were firing, and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere. After an hour of this, one of the sol Biers decided that the fighting was getting too dangerous for him, so he left the front line and began to go away from the battle. After he had walked for an hour, he saw an officer coming towards him. The officer stopped him and said, "Where are you going?"

　　第一次世界大战期间、一场大战役正在进行。枪炮轰鸣、子弹横飞。这样持续了一小时后，有个士兵认为战斗太危险了，所以他离开前线，开始逃离战场。走了一个小时后，他看见一个军官朝他走来。军官拦住他，问道:“你到哪儿去?”

　　"I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battle that' s going on behind us, sir,” the soldier answered.

　　“长官，我正尽力躲开身后正在进行的战斗。”士兵回答说。

　　"Do you know who I am?" the officer said to him angrily. "I'm your commanding officer.”

　　“你知道我是谁吗?”军官生气地说，“我是你们的指挥官。”

　　The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said , "My God, I didn't know that I was so far back already !”

　　士兵听了十分惊讶地说:“天哪，真没想到我已经往回跑了这么远了!”