经典英语幽默笑话集锦

　　笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。下面是学习啦小编带来的英语幽默笑话集锦，欢迎阅读!

　　英语幽默笑话集锦精选

　　(一)

　　猪还是女巫 Pig or Witch

　　A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.

　　一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。

　　As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"

　　他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪!!”

　　The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!"

　　那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫!!”

　　They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pigin the middle of the road.

　　他们继续前行。这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。

　　If only men would listen.

　　要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。

　　(二)

　　The World's Greatest Swordsman

　　世界上最伟大的击剑手

　　At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.

　　在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中，排名第三的击剑手上场了。一只苍蝇放了出来，剑划了一个弧，他将苍蝇劈成了两半。观众欢呼起来。紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半。现场一阵沉默，人们期盼着世界上最伟大的击剑手出场。

　　His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.

　　他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来——然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行!观众被惊呆了。最伟大的击剑手完全错过了他的目标，然而他还在微笑着。

　　"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!"

　　“你为什么这么高兴?”有人嚷道，“你没击中!”

　　"Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father."

　　“啊，”剑手答道，“你刚才没有很仔细地看。苍蝇还活着，是的——但他永远也做不成爸爸了。”

　　英语幽默笑话集锦阅读

　　(一)

　　天气预报 Weather Predict

　　Weather Predict A film crew was on location deep in the desert.

　　天气预报一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处工作.

　　One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain."

　　一天,一个印度老人到导演跟前告诉导演说"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.

　　The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrowstorm." The next day there was a hailstorm.

　　一周后,印度人又来告诉导演说,"明天有风暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.

　　"This Indian is incredible," said the director.

　　"印度人真神,"导演说.

　　He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.

　　他告诉秘书雇佣该印度人来预报天气.

　　However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.

　　几次预报都很成功.然后,接下来的两周,印度人不见了.

　　Finally the director sent for him.

　　最后,导演派人去把他叫来了.

　　"I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. Whatwill the weather be like?"

　　"我明天必须拍一个很大的场景,"导演说,"这得靠你了.明天天气如何啊?"

　　The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken."

　　印度人耸了耸肩."我不知道,"印度人说,"收音机坏了."

　　(二)

　　模仿鸟儿 Imitate Birds

　　A man tried to get a job in a stage show.

　　一个人想在一个舞台剧中找份工作。

　　"What can you do?" asked the producer.

　　“你能干什么呢?”负责人问。

　　"Imitate birds," the man said.

　　“模仿鸟儿，”那人说。

　　"Are you kidding?" answered the producer, "People like that are a dime a dozen."

　　“你在开玩笑吧?”负责人答道，“那样的人一毛钱可以找一打。”

　　"Well, I guess that's that." said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window.

　　“噢，那就算了。”那名演员说着，展开翅膀，飞出了窗口。

　　英语幽默笑话集锦学习

　　(一)

　　But the teacher cried

　　老师哭了

　　The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled.

　　六岁的约翰娇生惯养。

　　His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wantedanything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his firstday away from his grandmother's loving arms.

　　他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。

　　When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

　　约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：

　　"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"

　　“学校怎么样?你过的好吗?哭了没有?”

　　"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"

　　“哭?”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”

　　(二)

　　闹饥荒的原因 The Reason of the Famine

　　In one dinner party，a capitalist eyed bony Bernard Shawup and down regretfully， and said inall seriousness，"Look at your appearance，it really makes people believe that all theBritishare are starving."

　　在一次宴会上，一个资本家用遗憾的目光上下打量着瘦骨嶙峋的肖伯纳，一本正经地说：“看看你的模样，真叫人以为英国人都在挨饿。”

　　Bernard Shaw，examining the potbellied capitalist，said，"But，I know as soon as I saw you thereason why Britain is suffering from famine."

　　肖伯纳审视着大腹便便的资本家说：“但是，我一见到你，就知道英国正在闹饥荒的原因了。”