经典短英语幽默笑话大全
经典短英语幽默笑话大全
笑话是内容丰富并具有出乎意料结尾的幽默口头故事。下面小编整理了短英语幽默笑话，希望大家喜欢!
短英语幽默笑话摘抄
Friend for Dinner
请朋友吃饭
Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.
“亲爱的，”丈夫对妻子说：“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。”
What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty,and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal!
“什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的，我很久没有买过东西回来了，所有的碗碟都是脏的，还有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。”
I know all that.
“这些我全都知道。”
Then why did you invite a friend for supper?
“那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?”
Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.
“因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。”
短英语幽默笑话鉴赏
The Fourth Element
第四元素
Teacher: What are the four element of nature?
老师：自然界的四大元素是什么?
Student: Fire, air, earth, and... and ...
学生：火、气、和。。。和。。。
Teacher: And what? Just think it over, what do you wash your hands with?
老师：和什么?想一想， 你用什么洗手的?
Student: Soap!
学生：肥皂。
短英语幽默笑话赏析
Boxing and Running
拳击和赛跑
Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, soI’m teaching my boy to fight."
丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。”
Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also beentaught how to box."
朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办?”
Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."
丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”
短英语幽默笑话欣赏
Make your fortune
计划你的将来
"How did you make your fortune?"
“你是怎么计划你的将来的?”
"I became the partner of a rich man.He had the money and I had the experience."
“我变成一个富人的合伙人，他有钱，我有经验。”
"How did that help?"
“那有什么用?”
"Now he has the experience and I the money."
现在他有经验了，我有钱。”
短英语幽默笑话品味
The Looney Bin
疯人院
Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Anotherone said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "God told me!" Just then, a voice fromanother room shouted, "I did not!"
一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑!”另一个说：“你怎么知道?”第一个人说：“上帝对我说的!”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说!”
短英语幽默笑话品析
会说话的钟 Talking clock
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.
一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。
"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.
“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的?”他的一个朋友问他。
"That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。
"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.
“这钟怎么工作的”，他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。
Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这白痴!现在是凌晨两点钟了!”
经典的短英语幽默笑话
长寿秘诀 Secret For a Long Life
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
一位女士走向坐在门廊的椅子上摇动的小老头。
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says.
“我无意中发现，你是多么幸福，”那女士说。
"What's your secret for a long, happy life?"
“你幸福而长寿的秘密是什么?”
"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, everexercise."
“我每天抽三包烟，每周喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且从来不曾锻炼。”
"Wow, that's amazing," says the woman.
“哦，真神奇，”女士说。
"How old are you?"
“你高寿?”
"Twenty-six."
“二十六。”
关于短英语幽默笑话
控制女人的男人 Two Lines In Heaven
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.God comes and says "I want the men to make twolines.One line for the men that dominated their women on earthand the other line for the menthat were whipped by their women.Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."
世上的每一个人都上了天堂 神说 :" 要男人分成两队 , 一是在世上控制女人的男人 ,另一是被女人鞭打的男人 .另外女子自成一队 , 跟着圣彼德去 ."
Said and done, and there are two lines. The line of the menthat were whipped was 100 mileslong,and the line of men that dominated women, there was only one man.
队伍列好后 , 一是被女人鞭打的 ,有 100 英里长 , 一是在世上控制女人的 ,仅有一人 .
God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves.I created you in my imageand you were all whipped by your mates.Look at the only one of my sons that stood up andmade me proud.Learn from him! Tell them, my son,how did you manage to be the only one onthat line?"The man said, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."
神生气的说 :" 你们男人应该感到羞耻 ,我按照自己的形象创造了你们 ,而你们被女子鞭打 . 看看 , 我唯一的儿子 ,站着使我骄傲 . 你们应该向他学习 .告诉他们 , 儿子 ,你如何成为唯一站在这一队上的 ?"这男子回说 :" 我不知道 , 我太太叫我站在这的 !"