经典英语幽默笑话小故事
经典英语幽默笑话小故事
冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。下面小编整理了英语幽默笑话小故事，希望大家喜欢!
英语幽默笑话小故事摘抄
Which month to go?几月走的
When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.
杰克给人鞠躬，飞快地一点头，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂礼貌。于是便有好心的人教他说，下次鞠躬的时候，你就在心里数：正月、二月、……一直数到十二月为止，然后再直起身来。这样，礼节就周全了。
The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, Which month did he go away?
第二天，杰克见到他的叔叔，他便如法炮制。这躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一惊，赶紧逃开了。杰克抬头一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便问过路人：我叔叔几月走的?
英语幽默笑话小故事鉴赏
Reason of Punishment
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school Iwas punished for something that I didn't do.
The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this!By the way, what was it that you didn't do?
The little girl replied, My homework.
惩罚的原因
一天，小女孩从学校回到家里，对妈妈说：妈妈，今天在学校里我因为一件我没有做的事情而受到惩罚。
妈妈激动地说：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老师好好谈一谈，对了，你没有做过的那件事是什么?
小女孩回答说：我的家庭作业。
英语幽默笑话小故事赏析
埋在花园里的枪 Guns Buried in the Garden
An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted toplant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up thegarden. He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig upthat garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!
一个老人独居在北爱尔兰，他的独生子正在坐牢。老人想在花园里种些土豆，但不知道谁可以帮忙把泥土翻松。他写信想儿子提及此事，儿子回信说道：“看在上帝的面上，千万不要翻松花园的泥土，我把枪埋在那儿了。”
At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden,but didn't find any guns.
第二天凌晨4点，一队英国士兵出现在老人家中，在花园把土地翻遍，但并没有找到任何枪支。”
Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.
老人写信告诉儿子这件奇怪的事情，问到底发生了什么事情，下一步应该怎么做。
His son's reply was: Just plant your potatoes.
儿子回信道：“你只管种土豆好了。”
英语幽默笑话小故事欣赏
临死者最爱吃的小甜饼 Favorite Cookies
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma ofhis favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength,and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of thebedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing withboth hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.
一位濒临死亡的老人正躺在他的床上，承受着死亡的煎熬。突然一股香味顺着楼下飘了上来，那正是他最喜欢的巧克力小薄饼的味道。他用尽吃奶的力气挣扎着从床上爬了起来，倚着墙，慢慢地走出了卧室，并且用最后的力量用双手抓住扶手走下了楼梯。老人靠在门框上，嘴里喘着气，眼睛凝神着厨房。
Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spreadout upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chipcookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing toit that he left this world a happy man?
如果不是因为承受着临死的痛苦，老人会认为自己到了天堂。那里，在厨房铺着报纸的桌子上，确切地说有数百个他最喜欢吃的巧克力小薄饼。真在天堂吗?还是他那离婚妻子的最后一次英雄般的爱心显示，以便让他开心地离开这个世界?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in arumpled posture. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in hismouth; seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand, shockingly made itsway to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by hiswife.
集中最后的力量，老人跪着双膝挣扎着移向桌子。他口干舌燥，嘴巴张开。他感受到了美妙的甜饼味道，仿佛要将他带回人世。他的一只年迈干瘪的手颤颤悠悠地伸向桌子边缘的一只小甜饼。突然，他妻子扔过一把铲子，砸在他的手上。
Stay out of those, she said, they're for the funeral.
“离远点”，他妻子说。“这是为你的葬礼准备的。”