简单易懂好笑的英语笑话

简单易懂好笑的英语笑话

　　《万荣72争笑话》是一部方言性质极强,幽默意味十足的笑话集，下面小编整理了简单易懂的英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!

　　简单易懂的英语笑话摘抄

　　实质性的纠正

　　Teacher: Walter, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast thismorning.

　　Walter: What was it?

　　Teacher: Eggs.

　　Walter: Wrong. That was yesterday.

　　老　师：沃尔特，你为什么不洗脸?我看得出你今天早饭吃了什么。

　　沃尔特：我吃了什么?

　　老　师：鸡蛋。

　　沃尔特：错了，老师。那是昨天吃的。

　　简单易懂的英语笑话鉴赏

　　当场擒获小偷

　　A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen,"said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy thewatch, and we forget about this?"

　　The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This isa little more than I intended to spend.Can you show me something less expensive?"

　　一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样?”

　　经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道：“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点。你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。"

　　简单易懂的英语笑话赏析

　　一块还是两块?

　　Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.

　　Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.

　　顾客：服务员，我盘子里怎么只有一块肉?

　　服务员：先生，请稍候，我去把它切成两块。

　　简单易懂的英语笑话欣赏

　　打猎秘籍

　　Two Russian hunters meet. "I shot a gigantic bear yesterday," says Ivan. "Look at the hide!"

　　"How do you find such huge bears?" Sergei asks.

　　"Easy," says Ivan. "You stand in front of a cave and whistle. When the bear comes out,you shoot."

　　Weeks later the two meet again. Sergei is covered in bandages. "Didn't you follow myadvice?" Ivan asks.

　　"Sure I did. I stood, in front of a cave and whistled, " Sergei replies.

　　"And what came out?"

　　"To me, "says Sergei, "it looked like the Trans-Siberian Express."

　　两个俄国猎人相遇。“我昨天打了一只巨熊，”伊凡说，“看看这兽皮!”

　　“你是如何发现这么大的熊的?”谢尔盖问道。

　　“很简单，”伊凡说，“你站在一个洞前并吹哨子。熊出来时你就开枪。”

　　几周后，两人见面了。谢尔盖浑身缠满了绷带。“难道你没有听我的建议?”伊凡问。

　　“我当然是按你的建议做的。我站在一个洞前并吹哨子，”谢尔盖回答说。

　　“出来了什么?”

　　“向着我来的，”谢尔盖说，“像是穿越西伯利亚的快车。”

　　简单易懂的英语笑话品味

　　一封特别的感谢信

　　nce I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were fivelottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much foryour help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "

　　有一次，我收到一封感谢信，是一个我曾帮助过的朋友寄来的。信封内有五张彩票，都被刮过了，露出了数字。“非常感谢您的帮助，”信上写道，“作为礼物，我给您买了些彩票——真遗憾，您没中奖。”

　　简单易懂的英语笑话阅读

　　委婉的报丧方式

　　Two brothers, Herbert and James, lived with their mother and a cat named Edgar. James wasparticularly attached to the cat, and when he had to leave town for several days, he left Herbertmeticulous instructions about the pet' s care. At the end of this first day away. Jamestelephoned his brother. "How is Edgar?"

　　"Edgar is dead." Herbert answered. There was a pause. Then James said, "Herbert, you'reinsensitive, you know how close I was to Edgar —you should have broken the news to meslowly. When I asked about Edgar tonight, you should have said, 'Edgar's on the roof , but Ihave called the fire department to get him down.' And tomorrow when I called, you could havesaid the firemen were having trouble getting Edgar down, but you were hopeful they wouldsucceed. Then when I called the third time, you could have told me that the fire-men have donetheir best, but unfortunately Edgar had fallen off the roof and was at the veterinarian's. Thenwhen I called the last time, you could have said that although everything possible had beendone for Edgar, he had died. That's the way a sensitive man would have told me about Edgar.And, oh, before I forget," James added, "how is mother?"

　　"Oh," Herbert said, pausing for a moment, "She' s on the roof."

　　郝伯特和詹姆斯兄弟二人一起生活，家中有一老母并养了一只猫叫埃德格。詹姆斯特别喜欢这只猫。有一次他要外出几天，临行前不厌其烦地嘱咐郝伯特照顾好这只宠物。出门后的头一天晚上，他打来电话询问：“埃德格好吗?”

　　“它死了，”郝伯格回答。一阵沉默之后，詹姆斯说：“郝伯特，你真没心没肺，你知道我多么喜欢埃德格——你应该把这个消息慢慢地告诉我。当我问起埃德格今晚怎样时，你应该说，‘埃德格爬上了屋顶，我已给消防队打了电话，让他们把它救下来。’我明天又给你打电话时，你应该说消防队营救埃德格遇到了困难，但你相信他们会成功。在我第三天给你打电话时，你可以说消防队员已尽了最大努力，但很不幸，埃德格从屋顶上掉了下来，被送到兽医那里。在我最后一次给你打电话询问，你可以说尽管对埃德格做了一切所能做的努力，它还是死了。这是一个富有感情的人告诉我埃德格的消息时所用的方式。哦，趁我没忘记还有件事顺便问一下，”詹姆斯补充道，“母亲好吗?”

　　“哦……”一阵沉默后郝伯特答道，“她上了屋顶。”