双语阅读：感情创伤的恢复期有多长(2)

　　To help yourself get through the process, accept that there is nothing wrong with you, even if your emotions feel overwhelming. Remind yourself that this period will end. Tell your friends and family that while you may not be your typical self for a while, you still need their support and you will recover.

　　为了帮助自己熬过这一过程，你得接受自己没有过错这一点，哪怕你的情绪感觉难以抑制。提醒自己这段日子终将结束，告诉你的朋友和家人，虽然在一段时间之内你可能不再是平常的那个自己，但是你仍然需要他们的支持，你会恢复过来的。

　　Don't make any major, permanent changes, if you can help it, such as moving to a new city. Therapy can help, so you won't have to go through the process alone. As for a new relationship -- forget about it.

　　如果可以做到的话，不要做出任何永久性的重大改变，比如搬到一座新的城市去住。接受心理治疗是有帮助的，如此你就不必独自一人熬过这一过程。至于新的一段感情──还是算了吧。

　　During what he calls his own two-year 'divorce recovery process,' Mr. Hassard revised the note on his fridge every three months or so, updating his progress and objectives. He targeted different areas, such as 'self worth,' 'facing my anger,' 'being a good parent,' 'forgiveness,' 'moving on.'

　　在哈萨德自称的两年“离婚恢复期”中，他每三个月左右就修改一下冰箱上的纸条，更新自己的进展和目标。他的纸条针对不同方面的目标，比如：“自我价值”、“正视我的愤怒”、“做一名好家长”、“宽宏大量”、“继续前进”。

　　'If you don't rewrite your goals,' says Mr. Hassard, who has since moved to Centerville, Utah, 'they start to become invisible.'

　　后来迁居犹他州森特维尔(Centerville)的哈萨德说：“如果你不重新改写目标，它们就开始变得不清晰了。”

　　Sometimes small decisions tripped him up, such as which side of the bed to sleep on, or whom to call at the end of a good day. He kept a journal, burning his most bitter entries on the backyard barbecue grill. He sometimes cried or yelled while commuting alone in his car, rolling down the windows or dropping the convertible top to 'let it all blow out behind you.' He waited more than a year to start dating, until he noticed himself 'looking for good things instead of trying to avoid the bad.'

　　有时，一些小的决定就会难倒他，比如在床的哪一边睡觉，或者美好的一天结束时给谁打电话。他记日记，然后在后院的烧烤架上把其中最痛苦的内容烧掉。有时一个人开车上下班时他会大哭大叫，摇下车窗或打开折叠敞篷“任其在自己身后兜风鼓胀”。他等了一年多，直到他发现自己是“在寻找美好的事物而不是试图躲避坏事”了才开始约会。

　　One night, when the two years were up, Mr. Hassard held a celebration. While the kids were at a slumber party, he cooked himself his favorite meal -- bacon-wrapped chicken, green-bean casserole and garlic toast -- and opened a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

　　两年时间满了的时候，哈萨德在一个夜晚举办了庆祝会。当孩子们在享受睡衣晚会的时候，他给自己做了最爱吃的一顿饭──培根鸡肉卷、奶油蘑菇烤四季豆和蒜香吐司──还开了一瓶灰比诺葡萄酒。

　　Watching the sunset from his back porch, he assessed his progress and asked: 'Am I done?' The answer, he says, was 'Yes.'

　　哈萨德一边在自家屋后门廊看着日落，一边评估自己的进展。他自问道：“我恢复了吗?”他说，答案是“是的”。

　　'The finish line is only metaphorical until you make it real,' he says. 'And I got there.'

　　他说：“在你真正到达终点线之前，这条线只是一个象征性的存在。最终我到达了终点线。”